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Dustin, you're now recommending that new writers...or any amateur writers, should use camera directions in their Spec scripts?
I'm not recommending anything. If writers, new or otherwise, amateur or otherwise, wish to add camera directions then they can if they want to. It will not hurt the read so long as it is done properly.
You don't speak for producers. You can't speak for producers. You have your opinion. I have mine.
The examples I used at the top were just things I'm pretty sure I've seen in a movie before, not what I'm actually writing. If you watch the intro to The Fugitive, it's the closest thing I can find to what I was trying to do. Short, quick glimpses of actions that happen in between credit pauses. In The Fugitive, however, instead of black in between actions, it cuts to shots of the city. When the actions are simply written as scenes, it looks like a bunch of incomplete scenes, but really I was trying to show important, but mysterious, quick actions. Someone driving irratically, guys talking in a car, putting on masks, a cop shooting two other cops, then his windows being smashed by the guys with masks, etc. Then, later in the script, I would reveal more of what was actually going on. I've since changed the intro, however, and am no longer trying to do this.
This is the same problem I am having though somewhat different (sorry for hijacking this but you asked the question I wanted to) I have a "story" in my mind and the vision, it's just that the beginning is getting on my damn nerves and making me want to simply give up.
I have a scene that's set in the 1920s prohibition era, that I don't really WANT to take up a whole ton of my script. I'd basically like it to be like a short scene before/during the main credits. It involves: the ocean waves crashing against rocks, the roar of a car engine, a woman laughing, an old 1920s car taking bend faster than it should, the husband of the woman glancing at her sideways, the car passing a large fence being erected beside the road, the car slowing as they pull onto a dirt road that leads to a unfinished grand mansion, wife climbing out of the car touching her pregnant stomach, her eyes lighting up as she says his name, a group of men in black suits pulling up, the husband kissing her before climbing into another car and driving away, the sound of gunshots, the husband and everyone with him falling to the ground dead and bloody, "The cross is dead" said by one of the men, the woman crying while calling her husband's name, the woman screaming, a midwife yelling out "it's coming", a baby crying, a gunshot, the woman's body falling to the ground.
VOICE OVER - Life isn't always going to go the way you want it to, sometimes your life is already mapped out for you, even before you're born.
Then fade in to the beginning of the next scene...
Please...someone tell me there's a way to write this, because I see it all so damn clear in my head and cannot figure out how to get all that in a script before/during the opening credits...
This is the same problem I am having though somewhat different (sorry for hijacking this but you asked the question I wanted to) I have a "story" in my mind and the vision, it's just that the beginning is getting on my damn nerves and making me want to simply give up.
I have a scene that's set in the 1920s prohibition era, that I don't really WANT to take up a whole ton of my script. I'd basically like it to be like a short scene before/during the main credits. It involves: the ocean waves crashing against rocks, the roar of a car engine, a woman laughing, an old 1920s car taking bend faster than it should, the husband of the woman glancing at her sideways, the car passing a large fence being erected beside the road, the car slowing as they pull onto a dirt road that leads to a unfinished grand mansion, wife climbing out of the car touching her pregnant stomach, her eyes lighting up as she says his name, a group of men in black suits pulling up, the husband kissing her before climbing into another car and driving away, the sound of gunshots, the husband and everyone with him falling to the ground dead and bloody, "The cross is dead" said by one of the men, the woman crying while calling her husband's name, the woman screaming, a midwife yelling out "it's coming", a baby crying, a gunshot, the woman's body falling to the ground.
VOICE OVER - Life isn't always going to go the way you want it to, sometimes your life is already mapped out for you, even before you're born.
Then fade in to the beginning of the next scene...
Please...someone tell me there's a way to write this, because I see it all so damn clear in my head and cannot figure out how to get all that in a script before/during the opening credits...
Hey Dragon: The good news is that you have written something that is very visual for the opening of your story - I quite liked it. If I were you, I wouldn't let it hold you up - write the rest of your script and come back to this. But I know that's not your question.
There are a couple of choices here (e.g., you could do an opening montage or a series of short scenes). Here is a pretty good link on how to handle montages versus a series of shots:
From what you wrote - there are several unanswered questions - you don't indicate in many instances where the specific event took place (e.g., where was the woman shot, where was the baby born, where was the woman when she was shot, how much time elapsed between action, etc, etc). I know you already got this in your mine's eye - but it just wasn't included in your example and so it's hard to see what to specifically do. Anyway, whether you do this in a montage or a series of short scenes - you're going to need to sort out that info.
I provided a sample (below) if you wanted to do it in a series of short scenes - I just made something up for illustrated purposes when I didn't know the detail (NOTE: - I just blew this out as I saw it so a lot of editing is still needed). Here goes:
EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - DAY
Waves crash against rocks - mist explodes high in the air.
SUPER: WEST COAST - 1925
The ROAR of a car engine.
INT/EXT. MODEL T FORD (TRAVELLING) - DAY
ALBERT (20s) drives. His wife, MARIA (20s), very pregnant, gazes at the coastline through the passenger window.
Tires SQUEAL as the car takes a turn - far too fast. Maria flashes Albert an admonishing look - slow down. Albert gives her an agreeable wink - she smiles, returns to her view.
The boards of a white picket fence blur out the passenger window as the Model T speeds down a straight away.
The car slows as it approaches a dirt road - turns right. Dust cascades into the air.
EXT. UNFINISHED MANSION - DAY
A large home, with the obvious signs of work in progress.
The Model T lumbers up the dirt driveway - both doors open - Albert and Maria exit. She beams as she eyes the mansion - going to be their dream home.
Maria turns towards Albert - gently taps her round stomach.
MARIA Johnny's home.
A large black sedan approaches - spews dust as it nears. Albert takes Maria's hand as he carefully watches the car until it stops ten feet from them.
The darkened silhouettes of four men fill the windows - the rear door pops open. Albert kisses Maria on the cheek, releases her hand then enters the sedan.
EXT. RURAL ROAD - DAY
Albert, along with three other men stand outside the sedan.
GUNSHOTS ring out. Blood bursts from Albert and the other men as they collapse to the ground.
MAN'S VOICE The cross is dead.
EXT. UNFINISHED MANSION - FRONT PORCH - NIGHT A distraught Maria peers into the dark sky.
MARIA (anguished scream) Albert!
INT. BEDROOM - DAY
Maria in bed - in position to deliver her child. A MIDWIFE at the bedside attending to her.
Maria's face contorts as she GROANS in pain.
MIDWIFE Hold on. It's coming.
The CRY of a newborn baby.
EXT. MANSION - FRONT PORCH - NIGHT
The signs of the work in progress are gone. The mansion is now complete. The dirt road now a paved driveway.
Maria looks out towards the horizon - someone's approaching. A single GUNSHOT - Maria's body falls to the ground.
MAN'S VOICE (V.O). Life isn't always going to go the way you want it to, sometimes your life is already mapped out for you, even before you're born.
That's a page and half - you could probably cut it down to one. Like I said - you could also do a montage for the above. For me personally, I find them difficult to to it there are a lot of location and time changes. But it is doable (see the example in the link).
Hope this helps - just based on the opening - I was interested in the story. Good luck.
What you're writing sounds a little Boardwalk Empire/Untouchables in style. So now you've got your beginning, focus on making the rest of the script unique and from a different point of view than we're used to seeing.
Dave, LC... You're GODSEND! Truly, I mean that. I had everything in my head by it just wouldn't come out right...
What it "sounds" like, isn't what it becomes This opening is basically a set up of things to come Taking it from this point in time, moving it forward to modern day. The house, the family and the events that lead to the baby being orphaned at birth are important to the story but not as the rest of the story, they just give an insight into what and how things came to be.
Basically the story, the whole story, when it comes to an end, will hopefully leave you wondering "Maybe there is another world out there" and i'm not talking in outer space. Trying not to give too much away because I feel I don't do it justice when trying to describe it. Though if you want there's a tumblr link in my sig that is the short stories I will be basing this script on.
Dave, LC... You're GODSEND! Truly, I mean that. I had everything in my head by it just wouldn't come out right...
What it "sounds" like, isn't what it becomes This opening is basically a set up of things to come Taking it from this point in time, moving it forward to modern day. The house, the family and the events that lead to the baby being orphaned at birth are important to the story but not as the rest of the story, they just give an insight into what and how things came to be.
Basically the story, the whole story, when it comes to an end, will hopefully leave you wondering "Maybe there is another world out there" and i'm not talking in outer space. Trying not to give too much away because I feel I don't do it justice when trying to describe it. Though if you want there's a tumblr link in my sig that is the short stories I will be basing this script on.
Glad it helped.
And, yes - the way you wrote this it did strike me as a set up/prelude for something that was happening in the future (especially because of the VO at the end).
In this regard - I had one other suggestion.
Rather than the VO at the end of the prelude - you could also do it at the opening of the current story. e.g., let say the main story takes place in the 1950s. Your present day story could open with your protagonist looking at an old grainy photo of Albert and Maria - SUPER 1955 - and then the V.O - IMO - that would solidify the connection.
The Voice over will bring together the old and the new. It's basically going from "Teddy and Virginia" in 1920s to "Jeremiah" in the 1940s or "Judas" in the now. Not really sure which one to do, though Jeremiah has been a favourite character among the readers of my short stories, Judas was the one I wanted to focus on, till Jeremiah found a soft spot in me.
Structure in the story basically goes: Theodore was a business man and an owner of alcohol based establishments who stepped into the wrong territory when the prohibition started and ended up being killed by a Rival who wanted his Canadian distributor, Virginia left to raise their child succumbs to Post natal depression killing herself with the gun her husband brought to protect himself. Jeremiah "Miah" the child they left behind, ends up being bounced between homes before landing in a stable home with a family who are different, the old 'can't have children so they adopt then have their own children story plays a part in this too because they have twins.The father beats the mother and disappears with the son becomes the leader of the "Hunters", where it comes out that the mother and daughter are supernatural but prefer to live the human life. When he reaches 18, Miah becomes the owner of La Croix manor and the family money. Marries his childhood best friend who is also supernatural based and uses his family fortune to protect people who are different. Eventually time gets to Jeremiah and he dies of old age, but his last wish is that his son Judas continues what he started. Judas, has spent the better part of his life in NY dealing drugs, working in his clubs, keeping on the good side of the mob with the knowledge that the 'monsters who live under beds' are real. Going back to his home town for his father's funeral he finds a book, with the details to the "undergrounds" of the manor and the protection set in place to keep the Hunters from ever finding out where they are. Judas becomes the Leader of "THE CROSS" a group of supernaturals who protect their own kinds and humans from the Hunters and their tirade on the earth. The Hunters basically think they are walking gods. Judas turns the La Croix Manor into The Cross of Saint Lucian, a home for wayward children and raises these abandoned children (like his father) to be warriors.
^^ I guess it could be a stupid idea to people who don't really like Supernatural creatures, though I wish to venture past the old "Vampires" and look into Fae, Gargoyles, Skin walkers.
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Author
Opening Credit Sequence Montage
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This opening is basically a set up of things to come Taking it from this point in time, moving it forward to modern day. The house, the family and the events that lead to the baby being orphaned at birth are important to the story but not as the rest of the story, they just give an insight into what and how things came to be. 
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