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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Seeing VS Hearing an event Moderators: George Willson
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  Author    Seeing VS Hearing an event  (currently 824 views)
ABennettWriter
Posted: November 25th, 2015, 12:22am Report to Moderator
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There's an event in one of my scripts where a husband is involved in a hit and run. We cut to the wife, who's pulling out an apple pie from the oven as there's a knock on the door.

I want the shot to stay on the pie as we hear the conversation off screen, then the wife's screen. Its a quick little thing, but because apple pies specifically play into the rest of the film, I want that visual. My protagonist is a professor who bakes in her spare time, and the juxtaposition of losing her husband while doing something she loves really appeals to me. In order to do what she loves doing, she has to overcome this major event.

My other option is cutting to the conversation and showing the wife's reaction. I think it's expected and I don't think it does anything for the story.

I do show the accident, which I'll need help with later. I don't know if I have written it as shocking as it could be.

I'd like to know everyone's opinion on what would be better. This scene, where the cops come to tell her about her husband, happens at the end of page 5.
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ghost and_ghostie gal
Posted: November 25th, 2015, 6:39am Report to Moderator
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This is one way.  If I understand your post.  Hopefully it sparks something.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

The doorbell RINGS.

-- ROSA pulls a PIPING HOT APPLE PIE from the oven, holds it to her nose, inhales.  Smiles, lays it on the table, then  walks out.  

                                                             ROSA(OS)
                                                   Please tell me he's alright?


Ghostie


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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: November 25th, 2015, 7:01am Report to Moderator
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Stay on the pie.

Why not?

Just make sure you sell it well. Have her bake the perfect apple pie, and say so and leave it steaming beautifully on the table while we can hear the conversation in the background.
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ABennettWriter
Posted: November 25th, 2015, 11:09am Report to Moderator
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Thanks guys.
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