SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is November 17th, 2017, 12:41pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship
Who Wrote What

The Writer's Choice



The breakdown has been posted

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  help with a scene Moderators: George Willson
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    help with a scene  (currently 104 views)
Lynn
Posted: August 8th, 2017, 11:04am Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.04
I'm a first year film student. I recently began writing a script for my class.
The scene starts with a pair of running legs, stepping into puddles. Then black screen. Then we see the back of the person who we saw in the last shot, running. Black screen again. And so on.

I just don't know what kind of shots will do it and how to put it into action? A lot of people over the internet say that
CUT TO BLACK\CUT TO
isn't recommended using.
Anybody can please tell me how to put it into the script? Also if anybody has a site or a list of types of shots that would be great as well. Any help is VERY appreciated!!  
Logged Offline
Private Message
Nolan
Posted: August 8th, 2017, 12:06pm Report to Moderator
Purple


Posts
178
Posts Per Day
0.25
Not using the CUT TO BLACK/CUT TO isn't really recommended for spec scripts, but if you're shooting it yourself I don't see a problem using the CUT TO in the script.  From what I'm aware of, the use of CUT TO is used in shooting scripts.

I'm sure you'll get a lot of different opinions on here, all of which will have their merits, so hopefully more people will chime in!

Nolan
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 7
Lynn
Posted: August 8th, 2017, 4:51pm Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.04
Can I say:


Quoted Text
EXT. RAINY STREETS - NIGHT
We see a pair of running legs.
CUT TO BLACK.

OVER BLACK--
THE FAINT SOUND of panting, backed by the footsteps in the puddles.
CUT TO:

EXT. RAINY STREETS - CONTINUOUS
The YOUNG MAN keeps running as the lights from the CAR chasing him, light the dark streets.
CUT TO BLACK.

OVER BLACK--
The car STOPS.
CUT TO:

EXT. RAINY STREETS - CONTINUOUS

And so on? (this is just a draft)
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 7
Warren
Posted: August 8th, 2017, 5:04pm Report to Moderator
Green



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
967
Posts Per Day
1.81
Hi Lynn

I'd lose the "We see", you also want to stay clear of "we hear". Show us what we see, describe it, same with sounds.

Also if you are capitalising sounds, "THE FAINT SOUND" isn't the sound. The PANTING is and so are the FOOTSTEPS.

This is also very passively written, as in lots of words ending in "ing". It would be a much better read if you could minimise/lose them.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 3 - 7
Lynn
Posted: August 8th, 2017, 5:13pm Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.04

Quoted from Warren
Hi Lynn

I'd lose the "We see", you also want to stay clear of "we hear". Show us what we see, describe it, same with sounds.

Also if you are capitalising sounds, "THE FAINT SOUND" isn't the sound. The PANTING is and so are the FOOTSTEPS.

This is also very passively written, as in lots of words ending in "ing". It would be a much better read if you could minimise/lose them.


Got it, thank you!
Is it okay to use from time to time in the ing words, since I don't see any other way to describe "a pair of running legs"?
And are the CUTS okay? I know it's not common but I still want to go for it.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 4 - 7
Dustin
Posted: August 8th, 2017, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
Blue


Wilhelm Steinitz

Posts
4316
Posts Per Day
2.74
Code

EXT. RAINY STREETS - NIGHT

We see a pair of running legs.



A pair of running legs? Are these naked legs? Shaved? Male? When you see the running legs in your mind's eye, what do they look like? Let us know too.


You don't need to cut to black. Simply go to OVER BLACK. Then when you want to return to the scene, simply write the scene heading as below:


Code

OVER BLACK-- 
THE FAINT SOUND of panting, backed by the footsteps in the puddles.

EXT. RAINY STREETS - CONTINUOUS
The YOUNG MAN keeps running as the lights from the CAR chasing him, light the dark streets.



It's not bad if you're going to be filming it yourself but try rewording your sentences so that they are more active.

So:

Code

The YOUNG MAN keeps running as the lights from the CAR chasing him, light the dark streets.



Becomes:

Code

The headlights from a pursuing car illuminate a panic-stricken YOUNG MAN as he sprints 
toward an alleyway.

Logged
Private Message Reply: 5 - 7
Lynn
Posted: August 8th, 2017, 5:47pm Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.04

Quoted from Dustin
Code

EXT. RAINY STREETS - NIGHT

We see a pair of running legs.



A pair of running legs? Are these naked legs? Shaved? Male? When you see the running legs in your mind's eye, what do they look like? Let us know too.


You don't need to cut to black. Simply go to OVER BLACK. Then when you want to return to the scene, simply write the scene heading as below:


Code

OVER BLACK-- 
THE FAINT SOUND of panting, backed by the footsteps in the puddles.

EXT. RAINY STREETS - CONTINUOUS
The YOUNG MAN keeps running as the lights from the CAR chasing him, light the dark streets.



It's not bad if you're going to be filming it yourself but try rewording your sentences so that they are more active.

So:

Code

The YOUNG MAN keeps running as the lights from the CAR chasing him, light the dark streets.



Becomes:

Code

The headlights from a pursuing car illuminate a panic-stricken YOUNG MAN as he sprints 
toward an alleyway.




Oh god I have so much more to learn. Also English is not my first language so my vocabulary is a bit more limited xP
And thank you very very much!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 7
Warren
Posted: August 8th, 2017, 6:07pm Report to Moderator
Green



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
967
Posts Per Day
1.81
Definitely don't need to loose all the "ing" words, just the ones that tend to make the writing passive.

If you plan to film it yourself then you can keep the CUT TO's, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Id lose them if you aren't though.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 7 - 7
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Screenwriting Class  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006