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Hi all, New Guy� here with what will probably turn out to be a New Guy Question.�
I'm working on a family-style script set in a faux-medieval world that has most of your classic fairy tale trappings like knights and royal families, but no magic nor any overt religion. My question is about how to handle enthicities in this situation while staying in screenplay format.
I'd like to avoid the polar-opposite conditions of (1) having all characters appear to be the same ethnic group and (2) having a nonsensical mix of apparent ethnicities. At this stage I'm thinking about 80% correlation between nationality and ethnicity (that is, 4 out of 5 people in a country have the dominant ethnic traits). If I stick with that, there would be five ethnicities across six countries, with the two similar-looking populations differentiated primarily by cuisine.
It really doesn't matter which fictional ethnic group ends up looking like which real one (there aren't any racial stereotypes or anything), and the people themselves identify much more strongly with their country (to the point of each country having a trademark color to its clothing). However, there are a couple points in the story where people are supposed to look like they're probably from a certain country.
Should I just leave it as made-up names with no defined characteristics (Aurentian, Glennish, Safiri, etc.), or hang a couple descriptive words on each as a placeholder?
For example, at the moment I picture Aurentians as olive-skinned, Glenns as brunettes, and Safiri as fair-skinned blondes and gingers. This comes across in action rather than dialog anyway. So a character might be introduced as "...a wealthy and physically imposing man in his mid 50s sporting the fair complexion common in Safir."
World building is just as important in a screenplay as it is in a novel - or short story, come to that. Very hard to do in a short, but in a feature, you have the page count to work with, so isn't a problem.
If you just left it as Aurentian, Glennish, Safiri, etc, then as the reader I would have to make up descriptions myself. Then, later, when you reveal the actual descriptions through resultant action and dialogue, I would need to reassess my own idea of what they look like and incorporate yours.
That's an excellent point. I figured I could explain the population anywhere in the script since whoever does the casting would have to read the whole thing anyway, but it's important that the reader not have to revise their mental images. Lose the reader and no casting happens!
For most secondary characters, only the nationality matters, and I'd like to leave some flexibility in how they're cast (or drawn if it's animated). Given the kid-friendly gimmick of each nation having a trademark color, for now I'm just noting little more than what they're wearing.
For example, "GWYNETH (22), a self-centered woman in a green courtesan dress who imagines that everyone is interested in everything she says." I know that particular example borders on unfilmable, but it helps the reader put her dialog into context.
For example, "GWYNETH (22), a self-centered woman in a green courtesan dress who imagines that everyone is interested in everything she says." I know that particular example borders on unfilmable, but it helps the reader put her dialog into context.
IMO, unfilmables that help set scene or character tone are fine. They're just directions to the reader or filmmaker that helps them understand the scene or the character. Some folks lose their mind when they see them because they are often a sign that they are going to be used throughout and therefore over done. Used judiciously, they can greatly enhance the read and the story telling.
In terms of ethnicity vs. nationality. Really no different then most screenplays. i.e., the challenge is not unique to a mystical world. Think any script set in Utah - sure, it's 80% white but there are Hispanics, Asians, etc. If the minor ethnicity is important, you could bake it in when you intro the character. e.g.,
Dave, as a Safirian, towers over the much shorter Glennish crowd.
I'm sure you already thinking of it, but certainly go more than skin color/hair and cuisine. It's fantasy - so the world is your oyster. e.g., make one group a foot taller then another group. Give one group three fingers and a thumb, one group that speaks in sign language, etc. Just spit balling, but if you are going on a mission to highlight differences - if it were me, I'd make them big differences. Would also break the stereotypical Majority-Minority dynamic. e.g., have a land where the ethnic minority is actually exalted over the ethnic majority.
For example, "GWYNETH (22), a self-centered woman in a green courtesan dress who imagines that everyone is interested in everything she says." I know that particular example borders on unfilmable, but it helps the reader put her dialog into context.
"Self-centered" and "imagining that everyone is interested in everything she says" doesn't border on the unfilmable, it is unfilmable.
Readers would be justified in calling it lazy, so you should really show organically how she believes that everyone is interested in everything she says.
It could be a simple as her trespassing into a third-party conversation, appearing proud at what she says while walking away, while everyone else is eye rolling. I'm sure you can think of many ways to "film" those traits.
One of the hardest things is conveying a character's back story and personality without flashbacks or unfilmables. It's also one of the most satisfying things when you pull it off.
Well, now that I have succeeded in opening an Unholy Can of Worms...
This particular intro is definitely a crutch to help the reader understand why she talks so much, and I’d be pleased as punch to find real action and dialog that makes such an intro unnecessary.
I will go thru the rest of the script and minimize those kind of intros (just like another thread had me go thru and take out all of the parentheticals from my actions).
Well, now that I have succeeded in opening an Unholy Can of Worms...
This particular intro is definitely a crutch to help the reader understand why she talks so much, and I’d be pleased as punch to find real action and dialog that makes such an intro unnecessary.
I will go thru the rest of the script and minimize those kind of intros (just like another thread had me go thru and take out all of the parentheticals from my actions).
Some will have a problem with it. Some won't. I actually liked the description. You'll find a kindred spirit here:
"Self-centered" and "imagining that everyone is interested in everything she says" doesn't border on the unfilmable, it is unfilmable.
Readers would be justified in calling it lazy, so you should really show organically how she believes that everyone is interested in everything she says.
It could be a simple as her trespassing into a third-party conversation, appearing proud at what she says while walking away, while everyone else is eye rolling. I'm sure you can think of many ways to "film" those traits.
One of the hardest things is conveying a character's back story and personality without flashbacks or unfilmables. It's also one of the most satisfying things when you pull it off.
I do appreciate the advice, and do try to show this kind of thing organically. It's easier for major characters since there's just so much more action and dialog to work with. For this Gwyneth character, at least in the current draft, we tend to come to her monologues as they're ending because they'd bore the reader/audience to tears
To explain, I called it "borderline unfilmable" (a term I totally pulled out of my ass) only because it at least gives the actress direction for how to play the character. A real unfilmable would be something like assigning a motive or hobby that is never hinted at on-screen.
To explain, I called it "borderline unfilmable" (a term I totally pulled out of my ass) only because it at least gives the actress direction for how to play the character.
Understood. I only raise it because cast "direction" is the director's job, not the writer's.
I catch myself doing the same thing, but I make an effort to delete it on the rewrite. It's not a big issue, just a potential annoyance that can easily be avoided.
What everyone else does is really no concern of yours. If that's how they do it, then fine... how many scripts have they sold?
Let's see, comparing their published scripts to mine... ZERO DIVIDED BY ZERO ERROR... aaaaand now my brain has melted. Great.
That's not entirely true... I have published technical stuff if academic journals only read by other academics. Though academic writing prepares you for screenwriting about as well as it does for pole vaulting, I believe the storytelling-within-a-structured-format aspect of screenwriting translates back to academic writing.
I'm sure you already thinking of it, but certainly go more than skin color/hair and cuisine. It's fantasy - so the world is your oyster. e.g., make one group a foot taller then another group. Give one group three fingers and a thumb, one group that speaks in sign language, etc. Just spit balling, but if you are going on a mission to highlight differences - if it were me, I'd make them big differences. Would also break the stereotypical Majority-Minority dynamic. e.g., have a land where the ethnic minority is actually exalted over the ethnic majority.
Just spit balling
For this particular story I want to keep everyone recognizably human, just not whitewashed. Other stories that want to get out of my head and onto paper lend themselves much better to your sorts of ideas.
The color-coded-countries thing started out just using Red, Green and Blue as placeholders in my earliest notes, but it evolved into a way to let viewers of all ages keep track of which country is currently on screen. Neighboring countries (just as big, but peripheral to the story) became Yellow, Purple and Gray.
My current challenge is describing the people of Silverplains (the "Gray" country), where the ethnic majority is supposed to be vaguely northeast Asian, Inuit, or Native American. I can describe everyone else without resorting to proper names.
For this particular story I want to keep everyone recognizably human, just not whitewashed. Other stories that want to get out of my head and onto paper lend themselves much better to your sorts of ideas.
The color-coded-countries thing started out just using Red, Green and Blue as placeholders in my earliest notes, but it evolved into a way to let viewers of all ages keep track of which country is currently on screen. Neighboring countries (just as big, but peripheral to the story) became Yellow, Purple and Gray.
My current challenge is describing the people of Silverplains (the "Gray" country), where the ethnic majority is supposed to be vaguely northeast Asian, Inuit, or Native American. I can describe everyone else without resorting to proper names.
Okay. Got it. Seems to me then just pick one (Asian, Inuit, or Native American) and use their physical traits
My son recently asked me to get him some novels by Malorie Blackman. Her Noughts and Crosses trilogy sounds very much like what you're attempting here.
My son recently asked me to get him some novels by Malorie Blackman. Her Noughts and Crosses trilogy sounds very much like what you're attempting here.
In that particular case, the two sets of naughts I simply describe as "brunettes" and "fair-complexion" while the set of crosses I describe as "dark-skinned" (it really doesn't matter if the reader pictures them as African or South Asian since as I said I'm not transplanting any racial stereotypes into this world).
What I'm having trouble with is describing Asians/Inuit/Native Americans without using a capitalized name. Current version is "tanned with black hair" since any mention of distinctive eyes seems to invite accusations of racist stereotypes (professional script readers might not care, but they aren't the only ones who read these things).
It might be clearer to the reader if I have a Glennish character claim to be 1/32 Plainsman because her family has high cheekbones
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