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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Don't Remind Me Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: November 14th, 2014, 5:39pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Don't Remind Me by Barry Katz - Series, Sitcom, Pilot - A doctor's perfect life unravels when a down-and-out ladies' man arrives on his doorstep to cash in on an I.O.U. from grade school. 52 pages  - pdf, format

Listen to the original theme song

Listen  to a full audio production of the script with real actors.


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  November 7th, 2017, 11:43am
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Barry_Katz
Posted: November 17th, 2014, 8:19am Report to Moderator
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Producers / Directors who may be interested in the project:  I have talent attached to play the lead male roles.  You can see them in action in the following short film:

"The Show" - http://vimeo.com/69420774

Also, if you haven't already listened to the theme song for "Don't Remind Me," I highly recommend it.  It was written and produced by an exceptionally talented pair of composers in the U.K.  Link below:

"Don't Remind Me" (Theme Song) - https://www.musicxray.com/xrays/1265228


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Barry_Katz
Posted: November 6th, 2017, 1:56pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for posting the revision, Don!  The full audio production of the script was a few years in the making.  It's great to finally have it done!


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Barry_Katz
Posted: November 6th, 2017, 1:58pm Report to Moderator
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For those who may have missed the link to the full audio production of the script:  https://soundcloud.com/barry-katz-248855171/dont-remind-me-sitcom-pilot


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Marty
Posted: November 6th, 2017, 2:59pm Report to Moderator
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Barry,

Congratulations on finishing your screenplay.

I have just a few notes, suggestions and maybe a question or two for you.

Questions:
Did you use some sort of screenwriting software when you wrote this? If not, you may find it helpful to do so. There are a lot of great free ones out there; WriterDuet, Celtx, FadeIn, to name a few.
I asked this because a lot of your spacing seems off. Particularly in the dialogue.

Also, maybe I am unfamiliar with series writing, but is it customary to tell us which characters are going to be in the scene? This could be a shooting script and if so, that might make more sense.

Parenthetical:
Normally they fall between the characters name and the dialogue.
Example:
DAVID
(Loudly)
Tiff? Honey? The omelets are getting cold.

Underlying:
Maybe it's just me. But my eyes seemed to dart to the underlying in your screenplay too often. Whether is be, the sluglines or you trying to accentuate a word or action. So in a way I found it a bit distracting and a little hard on the eyes in regards to a fifty two page script. But again, that's just me.

All the best,
Marty
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Barry_Katz
Posted: November 6th, 2017, 3:17pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Marty!

Yep... I'm familiar with screenplay formatting.  TV scripts are formatted differently to film scripts.  I've written a number of shorts and features --- this was my first TV script.  I recommend checking out the full audio version of the script.  Much better than reading it

I just uploaded the audio version to YouTube as well.  Enjoy!  https://youtu.be/P7yyYKzPWXk



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Marty
Posted: November 6th, 2017, 3:27pm Report to Moderator
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Barry,

Thank you for the clarification.

I will definitely give it a listen.

Best of luck to you with your current and future projects.

All the best,
Marty
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