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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Camp Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: January 2nd, 2018, 3:27pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Camp Pilot by Damien Hollyday - Series, Comedy - {no logline} 31 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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Marty
Posted: January 2nd, 2018, 3:39pm Report to Moderator
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Damien,

I would add a logline. It will help give a brief idea of your story and possibly spike interest. I would hate for others to not read your script because of something so simple.

A nitpick from produced screenplays I have read.
Numbers in dialogue should be written out as words.

All the best,
Marty
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Gerlinde
Posted: April 25th, 2018, 12:07am Report to Moderator
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I think that will be a TV series that has completed episodes. I am currently working on a series (working title My Crazy Family) where there will be a cliffhanger in the end. In the first episode that will be the German Nazi father of the mother of the heroine, with whom she will have unresolved conflicts. I think it's harder to plan than a series where each episode is complete. By the way, I liked the script. In addition to the logline, I would also briefly introduce the main characters in two sentences. This makes it easier for the reader to recognize where the journey should go.
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