Simply BBQ by Robert Glenn Newcomer - Short, Drama - The SimplyScripts family gathers for a dramatic barbeque that ends...poorly.     A July, 2006 One Week Writing Challenge Entry - pdf, format

well I wouldn't call this drama by any means, but you do mention Drama at the end , this was very funny.  The chris/bert stuff I thought was the funniest, well except for Dan robinson, I hurt myself laughing on that one, plus pepi, HAHAHAHAHA.  I guess this fit the theme, but not the genre, but it was still a funny read.

This was pretty good.  One of the more compact stories of the SS spoofs

*It's funny that Helio is perceived so similarly in all of these scripts.  Sometimes he's a drunk, other times he's running around in pink panties.  I guess that means we all get a kick out of him, eh?
*Obviously the writer is a regular and also very observant seeing as alot of these stuff is recent
*There's not much to complain about.  The drama comes from the satrical comedy.  Really exaggerated, but that's good enough for me.
*You killed my bird.  You can go to hell.

So overall it was a nice start to these exercise.  All of the characters are captured very well(especially Dan, which had me ballin').  I think the whole SS spoof thing is getting played out, which kind of takes away the initial excitement of these types of stories, but it's very well written and had some new stuff in it.  So I say kudos to you!

I couldn't resist, had to check this one out first.

Nice story here.  Not a DRAMA drama, but it had enough stuff in there.  I really hope that some of the newer "spoofs" get to looking at this, since maybe it will help things sink in a little.

Nice job, and you're definitely a regular.

Wow, this was really good. Nice in-jokes and it was pretty funny. Not very dramatic, but the fact that the characters mention the drama throughout had me chuckle a bit. I thought the part where the events go in reverse was clever. The whole thing was really good. Good work, sir or ma'am.

Now, this was Simply Hilarious.

I loved it of course. Excellent job on capturing peoples message board personas.

Yes, I would have suggested something bigger, but only because ice tends to melt away.

�SimplyScripters mingle and chat. Some carry a beer. Some
carry a beer in each hand. Some carry a beer in each hand
and have several more stuffed into each pocket.�
I loved that part!

I loved the potato salad part. So true to Dan, but also because someone actually brought a ten pound bag of potatoes to a dinner I hosted once.

The Balt joke was bad!!! Haha

This was really, really great.

I did type in Al Nevatel to Google and it took me to a cell phone company and call center! Interesting.

This was cute. Actually, it made me want to have a barbeque with you guys. Now I wish we could have a get together.

Quoted from tomson Yes, I would have suggested something bigger, but only because ice tends to melt away.

Pia, I’m not going to touch that one -- hahaha!

Instead of Chris telling Dan his chicken movie is going to suck, he should say it’s going to cluck -- har har -- get it? -- cluck.

Anyway, this was funny. Maybe out of place for the criteria but who cares? It was funny. I actually found myself wanting to read Dan’s dialogue for once.

Funny. I really enjoyed reading this. I enjoyed the writing, dialgoue, everything flowed well. Now I haven't been a member for a long time to know anyone here, but the personas presented in this short was hilarious. Great job.  

This was excellent! Some really great gags here. I loved how people's opinions, behavior, and overall personalities were integrated into the proceedings at the BBQ without making direct references to scripts or the site itself. For example, Dan and his "potato salad." That was one bit I particularly enjoyed. I think the Balt reference may have been my favorite.

Unfortunately, within the guidelines of the challenge, I don't think it worked. But somehow, I feel this was meant to go against the grain, especially considering the presence of the zombie pig, and in that context, I think the script worked. And to be fair, as many already know, Simply Scripts can definitely feel like a drama in and of itself from time to time.

All in all, good job, whoever you are. Not a drama but an entertaining script.

I'm almost a hundred-percent sure a moderator is responsible for this one, just not sure which one. Anyway, this one was hilarious and the fact that it wasn't a drama didn't really bother me that much. Several laugh out loud moments. Well done.

-Zavier

Aw man! That was brilliant. Of course it's not much of a drama blah blah blah... I still found it hilarious. I couldn't stop smiling throughout and there were a load of laugh-out-loud moments. As most have already said, the Dan parts were freakin' funny. I was almost crying with laughter at one point.

All I can say is simply brilliant. The ending was a nice touch too. I could guess who wrote this but I'd probably get it wrong... though whoever did, nice job!

P.S... I was so happy to see that I was invited to the BBQ!

I love these simply member scripts. They're always such fun to read.
Even though this one WAS a bar-be-que, not AFTER a bar-be-que, it was a really neat read. Loved the pig! That was cool.

Good job,

Cindy

Humm...I'm not sure but there lot different genres in it. Horror, comedy, Sci-fiction, terror, National Geography and drama of course.

I have just one thing to say about a character named Helio: better impossible!

Well done Al Nevatel!

Haha! Didn't laugh like this since I read Simply Noir. I wonder if the same writing team is behind this. It definetly has a Bertish feel, this script. If Bert wasn't involved, someone who knows how to imitate his use of the hyphens was.

I'm not surprised by the amount of reads this one is getting. Just by glancing at the title you can tell it's the most "comercial" of the bunch.

I started writing down my favourites moments but then I gave up, since there were so many.

Good job.  

Haha, this was awesome -- who ever wrote this.  You did a great job of representing everyone, even poking fun at Don and the Mod's little quirks.

And I loved how the word "drama" was used in some form or fashion atleast 20 times, just to insure that it stayed within the category.  

Grea Job!

I'm not overly familiar with all the names spoofed here but that really doesn't matter.  I still felt as though I were in on the joke(s).  

You have a good eye for satire whoever you are but like the others I have to call you for not sticking to the genre and theme too closely.  

Somebody had a hoot of a time writing this.
It's more of vignette than story.
And more comedy than drama.
But if you know the players, it's well worth the stretch.

I enjoyed the Balt part. Ravenous and off in the bushes to picnic his way. Ha ha.
I noticed Don got no CAPS in his intro, so I thought he wasn't going to utter a word. And then God spoke...

The part that really broke me up was Dan. Raw potatoes? That is hilarious. You had to figure it was
going to be raw or instant.

I wish there were a few physical descriptions of the characters.
But I guess it doesn't matter, because we have all probably formed an image of the writers in our mind's eye.
I mean, I wouldn't want Don being described as shorter than Dustin Hoffman.  Even if it were true. Haha.

The only thing missing was the food fight.  Or perhaps the barbecue brawl.  I fully expected Alan to show up just to antagonize Phil and then Brianne would step in and smack the anime crackers out of him.

All in all, this was spicy good ribbing and blistering on the nose to a chosen writer or two.

I don't have much to say about this except that it was damn funny!

The pace of the whole thing was so fast and full of events that I had to read it a couple of times and everytime I did, it became even more funny.

I loved it. I can actually see this happening. Whoever wrote this really had a grasp of everybodies online/writer's persona.

Great, fun read.

-Kotton

That was just funny. The Simply gags were priceless and all so spot on. If this weren't a drama exercise, we'd have a winner. Good thing this script was locked before it got too out of hand.  This one definitely feels like Bert (who was curiously missing from the cast except to "mod" it) was behind the madness.

Wow this is the first Simply "whatever" script I'm in! So, whoever wrote this, I thank you that you included the zombie pig eating out my entrails. That is my dream!

This whole scriptw as hilarious, and I would have laughed more but my sister was in my room and she would have gotten nosey and wanted to read, yet she would have no idea what would be going on. The Dan part was hilarious! I kept on laughing during it, but kind of quietly.

This was the funniest script I've read so far for the OWC, besides In A Hick Town. This was great! Good Job!

Sean

Quoted from Zombie Sean Wow this is the first Simply "whatever" script I'm in! So, whoever wrote this, I thank you that you included the zombie pig eating out my entrails. That is my dream!

Not true "Artist formerly known as The Dead Walk 2 Nite". You were a driver in Simply The Godfather. I think you were killed by Kevan Craft.

And may I add that you have a really strange dream?

I must have not read that one yet. Where can I find the link to it?

Sean

It's a little long, but has been called a classic and required reading. It's under drama, but you can click here for Simply The Godfather. That's right, I got to pimp a script by request. While I'm at it, if you haven't read SimplyNoir, that's also a classic "Simply" script and the reason Bert and I got linked as suspicion for writing this one.

This was a funny little read. I've been in a few of these things and every time I'm considered a preacher...I don't think it's a bad thing, though.

Great job on getting everyone's personality's right!

-Chris

So, I can't believe I didn't get pegged for this right off the bat.  Well, maybe some people saw it.  Glad everybody took it in the spirit intended -- although one of the "stars" of this show hasn't seen this yet -- and I wonder if they ever will.

I was a little nervous tossing it out there -- I don't always trust my judgement -- and almost brought George on board for just that reason -- but in the end I decided to fly solo on this one.

As far as "drama" goes, I had some gags in mind and figured I could shoehorn them into anything but a drama -- then Phil selected drama -- and I just figured screw it.

In my "dramatic" defense, I'll toss out the words of my buddy James -- who seemingly tapped into my skull and plucked out both of the things going through my head as I composed this:

Quoted from James McClung ...this was meant to go against the grain, especially considering the presence of the zombie pig...and to be fair, Simply Scripts can definitely feel like a drama in and of itself from time to time.

A few additional small things:

*  The author.  Nobody got that.  Al Nevatel -- I'll never tell -- get it?  A stupid little pun I added at the last minute.  Oh well.
*  Abe, always there with a ding, busts me on DON in caps.  Rookie mistake.  Perhaps he needs no introduction...?
*  Sean, I'm glad you were so pleased to have your guts eaten out.  The pig was an afterthought, actually -- if you look at the beginning of the story you can see where it was added in.

So thanks for looking -- those of you that did -- now I have a few more of these left to read, and I'll get to that...soonish.

This is probably the only 'simply-script' that I've ever really liked.  I didn't like the other ones because they just barely touched the characters and those that they're based on.  The writer of this one knew everyone.  I thank you for leave Balt in the bushes.

I'm surprised that there was no mention of Andy, though....

"He grabs a brush and begins to slather his hot spicy meat."  Wow.  That brings back memories.


Phil

I was so sure George wrote this one and I did get the "AL Nevatel", I just thought it was George trying to be clever. I typed it into Google and it went to a phone company with a calling center or something like that. Since that's what he does for a living I was extra convinced he wrote it.

I've read it three times and it was even better the second and third time. You did really good on this Bert.

I'm going to read something of yours this week, because it seems to me you have grown as a writer just in the year I've been here. You are getting better and better. I'm close to calling you great even.

Excellent job!  

I thought it was Bert at first but didn't want to say anything just in case. So I was right! ha ha ha.

And also, something he said in a thread when he deleted one of my threads sort of gave it away to me. ha ha ha ha ha!

-Chris

Quoted from tomson ...I just thought it was George trying to be clever.

Thanks for the comparison, Pia, but everyone knows that I am much, much funnier than George.  And I think you've already read everything I got -- even Better Days.

I thought Phil was gonna rip me to shreds for doing one of these -- I guess he's happy as long as I keep him in homebrews.

And Chris -- I thought you would spot this one as mine.  And I am glad you changed your screen name back.  You were the third one to change after I submitted this.  TDW2N and GBM are already out of date!  

Well, in your defense, Bert, Chris' propensity to change his gang name is notorious as well as well documented. TDW2N hasn't changed his in so long, it came as a surprise and GBM is kinda new still, so who knew?

It's kinda funny, though. In most of these, I show up as rather crass and foul-mouthed - a total opposite of how I am in real life. Kinda weird.

I only changed my screen name to Jack Sparrow for that short time because my friend (refilms) was gonna change his to that and I felt like being a butt hole. lol.

Anyway, I won't do it again. I stuck with Rapture for a long time and now I think I'm gonna just stick with Chris Harris for ever.

-Chris

[EDIT] - No...I don't think I'm God! lol.

Quoted from FilmMaker06 Anyway, I won't do it again. I stuck with Rapture for a long time and now I think I'm gonna just stick with Christ Harris for ever.

Can I just say that's one of the best typos ever?

Quoted from George Willson Can I just say that's one of the best typos ever?

That's not a typo, it's the origin of a cult.

Quoted from dogglebe This is probably the only 'simply-script' that I've ever really liked.  I didn't like the other ones because they just barely touched the characters and those that they're based on.  The writer of this one knew everyone.  I thank you for leave Balt in the bushes. Phil

I don't think this one captured very many personalities at all. Especially mine.

First I was reduced to a dick with a silly speech impediment and now I'm an add-on for name value. Close to not being in them at all (Fingers crossed)

Anyway this was pretty well written as far as shorts and the one week contest goes but I feel it suffers from a lack of character. The thing about the SS Scripts is that the writers actually tried to build character.

I did enjoy it and found some comedic value even though these were supposed to be drama. No?

I like the ending!

I'm glad to see some of the newer folk represented in this one!  

Seems like these "simply" scripts will never die. This is one of the better ones, though. It's good to see some of the newer member in there too.

I love what you did with Robinson. The potato salad metaphor is genius. I also liked Balt's appearance - the pay-off with the chicken was hilarious, if a little predictable.

I like how you crammed a lot of "drama" into your dialogue to excuse all the comedy

As usual, the writing is top-notch. A good read all round. Will the simply saga ever end???

Finally read it. I know I'm late, but better late than ever.

I just had one of my biggest laugh in my life. I was laughing out loud by myslef in the train that takes me home. People surely thought I was some kind of loony. I didn't know who wrote this (now I know) but he has a peaky sense of observation and critcism. I recognized everyone's flaws (including mine - by the way, I didn't know my accent was that bad) but I regret some people are missing here.

The most laughable parts for me was the parabol about Dan's potato salad and, most of all, the late appearence of Pepi.

Thanks "Al" for that excellent moment of private jokes. I'll keep it for my times of blues.

Michel

I thought everybody had read this one that was going to.  I forgot that you might be taking a look, Michel.

Quoted from michel I didn't know my accent was that bad...

Call that artistic license.  The point is to be as offensive and stereotypical as possible -- without making any enemies -- and sometimes that's a fine line.

Glad you liked it, Michel.  I was hoping (and kinda' thought) that you would.

Now I think there is only one more "star" yet remaining to read this....

Quoted from bert Now I think there is only one more "star" yet remaining to read this....

Well, if he's the one I'm thinking of, looks like he has disappeared for a while. Am I right?

Michel

ahah, I just read this!

sorry that I'm late!!!!

Great stuff Bert! it was hilarious!
am starting work, and reading this just made my day!

Great stuff!

Hey, thanks for taking a look, Pedro.  This was fun to write, too.

I hope I captured your pal Helio to your satisfaction!

oh yeah! you did that! I loved the part with the bird!

and michel's part was also good!

Bert,

This was an entertaining caricature piece. I now know some of the board members well enough to "get" it when they're speared. This is good humor that avoids being mean-spirited or vulgar. No easy task in comedy!

The pig business was quite a hoot. Nice work. Shows me what I find funny  has some company out there.

Bert-
This was one of the better simplyscript scripts, one of the ones I missed seeing for awhile too.  It was really funny and actually seemed to capture some peoples personalities in new ways, as opposed to all the others which tend to use the same gags for the same people.  My only complaint is that it didn't include Simplyscripts freindly neighborhood higgonaitor.  Oh well, probably would have just been a Jack Black reference anyway.

-Tyler

Hi Higgs.  How did you manage to stumble across this old fossil?

I really appreciated your reminding me of it, though.  I had to read it again myself to refresh my memory -- and was surprised how quickly these things become dated.  I'll bet some of the newer members would be completely lost for about half of this.

It is funny how these "simplyscripts" eventually turned out to be snapshots of a given point in time -- a look into what was actually going on at the time they were written.  A lot of the humor is of the "you had to be there" sort.

It's been a while since anyone has written one of these.  I wonder if we will ever see one again?

I was looking in the   "scripts you have written" thread and stumbled across it.  I think that they're just great and woud love to see some more.  Maybe if I find myself with enough time I'll write another.