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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  The Rose Bud Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: November 4th, 2007, 3:06pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Rose Bud by Elisabeth Dubois - Short, Drama - A longing to be no different than any other woman, Kristy seeks a loving relationship.  6 pages - pdf, format


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elis
Posted: November 5th, 2007, 2:41am Report to Moderator
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Hi Guys,

A short script from a five page limit monthly comp.
Criteria was to use only one character.
Feedback appreciated as I am endeavouring to lengthen the script.

Cheers.


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Mr.Ripley
Posted: November 5th, 2007, 6:36am Report to Moderator
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Hey again,

SPOILERS!

This tale was quite surprising. Man - literally. That was a real character you created. I liked the use of the laptop. Shows time spanning quickly, good work with that.
I guess you know what areas to expound on: the date aspect, their relationship, etc.

Only one nitpick:

I thought when Kristy was crying that somehow she would make this loud blowing noise into the tissue paper. That would be funny to see.

Hope this helps in anyway,
Gabe





Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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elis
Posted: November 5th, 2007, 11:46am Report to Moderator
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thank you for the read Gabe,
It was a burst of a reality! I do prefer my fantasy, though.


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