I thought this was cute but, damn, did it go on for a long time.  It was like reading an SNL script that would never end.  Some of the jokes in it were pretty good, but I waited too long for them.  Cutting five pages from this would greatly improve it...  Make it easier to swallow.


Phil

I jumped in and read the script before reading any comments or even the date on this, so sorry this is so late. I almost didn't comment, especially after you had mentioned that you don't plan on doing anything with this, but since I read it, I'll share my thoughts.

For what this is, it works. It is funny, but it was unnecessarily long. Going forward, it might be considered to keep shorts under 10 pages.

Some witty dialog and a funny situation. I could foresee where this was going, but when she asks him to get a sex change? Awesome. A nice pay-off.

Anyway, I'll check out some of your newer stuff. Please tell me this wasn't your first script and only the first one posted... my first several scripts were rife with errors and problems I'm too embarrassed to mention, but this was more 'veteran' than 'rookie'. Nice job!