Ah, you may be right Libby. My mistake. And I do hope they stop digging up your garden!

Brilliant. I hate to use that word too, trust me. The odd typo is the only distraction. Idea, execution and dialogue are all enjoyable, well crafted and genuinely funny. I could plainly see all this as I read it. That in itself is an achievement. Slightly subversive PG I hope it will be. Congrats and good luck with it. One point that I always feel with good shorts (I should have phrased that better I knowbut anyway) it is too short. 12 mins that could easily go on way way longer.

Thankyou for the read Rendevous. What typo's did you see? If you can point them out I can fix them up.

Does anyone else here think it could be longer? How long?

You're welcome Tommy. Some typos are debatable and some are plain anal, but as you asked...you can decide.
P2 Full stop missing after O.S.
P3 'english' always needs a capital letter
P5 'wont' should be won't
P9 grandfathers grandfather - grandfather's grandfather
P11 'Twig is still wears sunglasses' - doesn't make sense - wearing / still has / or lose the 'is'

I was thinking if someone was going to make this they'd want to see twenty minutes or so, at least.

Here is what a Bandicoot looks like:

Oh, yeah! I remember that game!

Crahs Bandicoot. Holy shit! how could I  forget about that. I use to spend hours playing that with my nephew on the playstation.

Tommyp

This as ok, a funny idea, good for animation. It flowed well and the scenes came thick and fast. I would have welcomed more interaction and possibly calamity from the camera man or some of the other characters present here. They seem to come in and out  of the story with no real bearing on the outcome or fate of Twig and Toot (great names by the way)

That was probably the biggest criticism for me, in the 12 pgs nothing major happened in terms of conflict or a twist of any sort to thwart the two. They just talked to the camera man expressing their desire to leave the place, we realize they have tried a number of methods before and failed, so here just seemed like them finally getting the idea right (or at least to a certain degree, Note to self: Buy stronger oars next time)

Which is what they done after much talking and tooling about which had no effect or importance to them coming up with the idea that did work (A very obvious one at that, no?) It was funny how they ended up in NZ but I don't think its enough to carry the pieCe through.

Not bad, great premise, probably needs a rethink and a rewrite just to make it a little more entertaining, a twist maybe or a nemesis/rival that they have to outdo in order to achieve their goal.

Col.

Col, thanks for the read. Appreciate it man.

I see your point about the lack of conflict. I suppose I was just going for laughs here, but a rewrite will definitely bring more characters, and more conflict.

I like your idea of the whole thing leading up to them thinking about a boat, instead of it randomly popping into Toot's head when he was singing drunkenly. And yeah, a rival of some type would be good.

Thanks for your review, I will incorporate your ideas in the next draft

Hey Tommy,
The pixilated images scene was great, as well as the bit with the Coke advertisement. Although there was a complete lack of conflict, the scenes moved very quickly. You moved each forward without lingering too long.
You got in to each scene at a good moment, said what you had to say, and then got out at pretty much the right time in most scenes.
Since this is animation I would have liked to have seen a few more visual jokes, instead of the focus on talking directly to the camera. maybe instead of talking up the waterskiing you could show a quick shot of it while voiceover plays over it?
The only real suggestion would be to go with a Pg 13 or a hard R story. You definitely had your best moments with the R rated stuff, would like to see you run with that and see how far you could push it.  The pixilated images scene is a great example, his pillow talk could've been spiced up some more. As the scene is, I think every guy has been in that situation and tried to ease the awkwardness.
Overall, this was cool, and some really genuinely funny scenes and lines. Would be interested in seeing where you could take this from here. Good work,
Nate

Hey Nate, thanks for the review.

I see your point about visual jokes. It is a documentary style, so I have to be careful with chucking flashbacks in.

I am on the second draft of this as we speak, and I think it's going to be PG. So I will take out the pixilated scene, and some of the language.

I think I will have to do an R rated version, as I love writing that kinda stuff.

Thanks for the kind words about it man, appreciate it.

Hey Tommy

I have to say I really enjoyed this.  I don't have anything negative to say at all.  It was funny throughout and the ending was great.  Good stuff.

Thanks Alffy, really appreciate the nice stuff you say about the script. Out of interest, because you aren't from Australia, is the whole Tasmania thing lost on you? Do you know much about Tasmania?

And that question is for everyone that has read it and is not Australian. Does the fact that it's about Tasmania change the comedy/drama aspect? Or do you think it would work with any island?

I know Tasmania is an Island off the south coat of Australia...right?  It's small and most of it is a National park I think?

I think the fact that's Tasmania helps, because it is a legitimate Island in close proximity of a larger country. It gives the story believeability (is that even a word?), although I'm not sure Bandicoot's escaping an island is beleivable lol.

I live in England, but I don't think using Ireland would work for me.  Ireland is of course a big and well populated country, so the possibilty of anyone wanting to leave and come to England is less than Tasmania to Australia.  Mind it doesn't stop half of Europe trying to get into England, but that's another issue.

Anyway I had no problems with you using Tasmania Tommy.

Hey Tommy,

All I know about Tasmania is that our future queen (in Denmark) is from Tasmania. She's pretty hot so, obviously, I like Tasmania.

I definitely liked this for what it was, it was funny with some nice gems (the condom and the Coke). I also liked your potrayal of the varius Bandicoots, especially your main 'Coots - nicely done. But like Col said, it lacks crisis. I would like to know where they're so hellbend on leaving Tasmania, it can't just be because the place is a shithole (well, maybe it can - I've never been there.

Another thing I didn't get. The mama-coot keeps saying that they will be back, and I took that to mean that they've done/tried this before and yet it seems strange that this is the first time they've actually made a list of ways to get off Tasminia - it just sounded like that this was in fact their first time, you know.

Anyway, I thought this was good and I loved the "Welcome to New Zeeland" ending.

Cheers
Rob