Whoa!

This is a pretty remarkable piece of writing, Harriet. What you have done is to take a fairly standard idea, and created a visual poem out of it.

It is not perfect - I'd agree a few passages are a bit difficult to read, and there are the odd format errors - but to point out these would be petty, as this are minor issues that should not be allowed to distract from the fact that you have successfully written a truly visual, cinematic, piece here.

This is what true artists should aspire to create. A piece that captures the essence of the ribbon of dreams.

I have never managed this in 21 years of writing scripts.

You have. Congratulations.

Simon, thank you so much for reading and your comments.

I certainly wasn't expecting such high praise. I'm very flattered  
It's far from perfect but glad you saw beyond the flaws.

best,

H