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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Soulshadows II: Death Hunts The Soul Moderators: bert
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  Author    Soulshadows II: Death Hunts The Soul  (currently 5814 views)
jayrex
Posted: January 4th, 2010, 3:38pm Report to Moderator
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Hello Orange,

Sorry for the late response.

Happy this script left you thoroughly creeped out.

Sick humour is always good.

Tyler,

Thanks for the read.

I only used one V.O. so I don't think it's too much.

I agree that this script is kinda cliché but I'm hoping I did this in a good way.

A - Yep, cliché parts are in there.
B - The creepy murderous janitor is an extension of the tarot reader.  Where the tarot death card was found in the sink.  Kind of like a calling card.

Cheers for the read,


Javier


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Higgonaitor
Posted: January 4th, 2010, 4:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from jayrex


I only used one V.O. so I don't think it's too much.


It's not that it's too much, it's that it's unnecessary and comes across as awkward, because there is no other voice over in it.  When someone heres a voiceover, they expect more voiceover.  The way you have it, it just seems sort of awkward.


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