All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Love a good western. This one had a Jonah Hex, supernatural feel to it. I like how your descriptions were economical, but painted a clear picture. I would have liked to have known more about the origin of this gun, but maybe that's for another script.
I suppose I like your rewrite a little better. The original didn't make as much sense to me as I just didn't think the sheriff would "lend" Lydia to this bounty hunter so she could go shoot the outlaw in his hideout. That'd be like King Arthur lending Excalibur to some scrub knight.
But, there's something I just didn't like about this ending, either. How the Sheriff sits back and lets this bounty hunter shoot an unarmed man, behind bars, in the Sheriff's own jail. I don't know, the whole killing seemed a little unworthy of Lydia's talents.
Maybe when the sheriff spins Lydia it points to the saloon across the street or something, where the outlaw and his gang is in town. And the bounty hunter, convinced of the power of Lydia, agrees to help him take out the outlaw. Just a thought.
Figurin' I oughta be writin' somethin' down here about the script.
Westerns, however, aren't really my thang.
I did like how you kept the tone of the action in line with the setting. It was like having a narrator with a twang along from the ride. Or maybe that's just how I heard it in my head.
The story was simple, but it worked.
It isn't my favourite piece that you've written but it's a good one.
If The Miss was warning the sheriff about the bounty on his head, why wouldn't she just go ahead and name the criminal?
The Miss wasn't there to warn the Sheriff, actually. She was teasing/testing him in order to know what kind of man he was. She was seriously considering collecting the bounty herself at the beginning of the story.
And why would the sheriff lend out Lydia to anyone? I'd be afraid of losing my magic weapon if I did that.
This is a good point. I tried to address this in the rewrite which still isn't posted. In the new version, The Miss never leaves the room with that gun. We'll see if it works.