Ring of Decisions by Ray - Short - The ring is set in motion when an advancing army forces a selfless man to sacrifice either his people or his family. 12 pages - pdf, format

SPOILERS:
I liked the script and especially appreciated the ending - Danu is Eremenon's husband but he has to sacrifice Leanon just like Miach... - great ending really.

I think it could make a great animation.

NOTES:
p1 - "Banshees scream" - do we see Banshees here? and if we don't (since you haven't cap 'Banshees') how do we know it's the banshees screaming?
Was the horseman Miach? - I didn't understand that right away.

p3 "Miach passes back out the door with another sword" - I kind of do not understand - they are not inside, right. --maybe this moment better be rewritten to avoid confusion.

p 4 Bendith Y Mamau - I don't know who that is but my guess is Rick probably would know since you wrote this with that OWC in mind.

p5 shillelagh - I dont' know what it is, but maybe it's just me.

p5 Urisk - have to look up this one too. So there are banashees, goddes and urisk... - for me a bit much of fantasy.
Urisk's every line is funny. I don't know if it's just me, but he's sounds like a comedian.

p7 "Slow as winter’s pitch, Eremon leans beneath her shoulder, reaches a hand out and pulls a breast over to his lips." - I don't understand why Eremon would do something like that. Also it comes off somewhat funny. And I see your other characters laugh - so maybe I'm not alone here

And it's Bean Nighe - so this must be very much fantasy.


OVERALL

Maybe I'm not a fan of fantasy but there were a lot of creatures for me in here. This is a really good idea and I would simplify it. But it's your story of course. It's very interesting and like I said I really like the ending. I think you could capitalize on the drama you created - Danu likes her husbands brother, bears his child, switches the child for another one to preserve that one. Then Eremenon gets his wish and she's his but the outcome is the same - they have to sacrifice Leanon and possibly Danu would give away her son all the same to keep him safe. - great drama.

Hi, Khamanna

Thank you very much for your read and notes.

p1 - "Banshees scream" - do we see Banshees here? and if we don't (since you haven't cap 'Banshees') how do we know it's the banshees screaming?
No, we only hear some horrible "thing" screaming from the night forest.
Since the challenge was for a Celtic mythology horror I had presumed the audience would be familiar with generally accepted thematic elements - including "banshees" screaming in the night.
Kinda like a hooting owl without showing the owl.

Was the horseman Miach? - I didn't understand that right away.
Yes, the horseman that raced across the stone bridge, cleaved the goblin, rode into the village, dismounted, introduced as Miach and then displayed to the gathered crowd the black goblin blood corroding his sword was him.

p3 "Miach passes back out the door with another sword" - I kind of do not understand - they are not inside, right. --maybe this moment better be rewritten to avoid confusion.
Gotcha.
Eh... In. Out. Doesn't really matter. Director will do whatever, but yeah the scene begins outside where Danu stands in the doorway as Miach brushes past her to inside, collects a second sword from inside then exits the house to the village open ground to round up old men and boys to fight.
I'll figure something there.

p 4 Bendith Y Mamau - I don't know who that is but my guess is Rick probably would know since you wrote this with that OWC in mind.
Here's the ugly little critter: http://www.monstropedia.org/index.php?title=Bendith_Y_Mamau
Yeah, whomever would direct this is going to have to come to the table knowing this mythology or ready to do some homework.
The idea was that Danu had made a willing arrangement to trade offspring rather than the traditional surreptitious route the Bendith are known for.

p5 shillelagh - I dont' know what it is, but maybe it's just me.
It's a fighting stick or wooden club sometimes used as a walking stick.
http://www.canemart.com/p/881-004/blackthorn_shillelagh_cane.html
I alternated its reference between shillelagh and cudgel.

p5 Urisk - have to look up this one too. So there are banashees, goddes and urisk... - for me a bit much of fantasy.
Yes, ma'am. I didn't puss-out with just a single supernatural critter in this story.
Lemme see... we have banshees (1), goblins (2), their (historically accurate) goddess Macha (3), another (historically accurate) pagan god Dagda (4), the Bendith Y Mamau (5), crimbil (6), the Urisk (7), the Bean Nighe ( 8 ) and the Fear Liath (9).
All in eleven pages!  

Urisk's every line is funny. I don't know if it's just me, but he's sounds like a comedian.
Great! Yeah, it's a foul and p!ssed little beast!

p7 "Slow as winter’s pitch, Eremon leans beneath her shoulder, reaches a hand out and pulls a breast over to his lips." - I don't understand why Eremon would do something like that. Also it comes off somewhat funny. And I see your other characters laugh - so maybe I'm not alone here.
That's part of the Bean Nighe lore.
   A bean nighe is described in some tales as having one nostril, one big protruding
   tooth, webbed feet and long hanging breasts, and to be dressed in green. A mortal
   who is bold enough to sneak up to her while she is washing and suck her breast can
   claim to be her foster child. The mortal can then gain a wish from her.
Just as Urisk has told the men.

And if you look close you'll note that the Bean Nighe has the same green eye as Danu who died post partum (also part of the Bean Nighe lore), who has come back as this particular Bean Nighe, uses the same "my love" term of endearment as Danu did behind Eremon's house, and now asks Eremon to not wish for what he has just asked.


And it's Bean Nighe - so this must be very much fantasy.
Unless you think all this goobledy-gok is true.
Actually, Palladius is also historically accurate, and is St. Patrick's predecessor in wiping out most of these pagan mythology beliefs from Ireland.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palladius
(Just in case you, or anyone, cares.)
I try to do my homework.  

Maybe I'm not a fan of fantasy but there were a lot of creatures for me in here.
This story is choked with it as if they were common forest creatures. Squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, turtles, robins, crows... goblins, banshees, bendith, urisk, bean nighe and fear liath. Just your regular forest folk.

If I may, what genres are you partial to?

This is a really good idea and I would simplify it. But it's your story of course. It's very interesting and like I said I really like the ending. I think you could capitalize on the drama you created... great drama.
Thank you.
Yeah, I think I could twiddle this out to a full blown feature. But nothing low budget!
Due to the limiting nature of this particular ten minute story, it would likely be told by the grown son of Eremon to someone else, a lover most likely.

I appreciate your time and attention to this. Thank you.

Hey Ray,

Wow! Very Lord of the Rings-ish/Narnjia-ish here. lol. I love that type of tale.

I think you have too much going on in the series of shots. lol. That's a good indicator of expanding the script.

You also have too many characters.

Make this a feature or a longer short. There's a story in here. You got the characters. Go work on it.

Gabe  

Ray,

Comparing this script "format-wise" to your very first script on SS...this is leaps and bounds better.   Hard to believe you actually wrote it.   I'm thinking you probably hired a ghostwriter.  I'm kidding of course.    As for the story itself, not my cup of tea, but I've never liked the fantasy genre so it's no fault of your own.   But again, I'm very impressed by how much you've grown as a writer in such a short time.   You've really applied yourself and it shows.   Good job.  

Hey Ray,

This is very well thought out. It got a little confusing at times, but I
think that was more because a lot of names/things that came up we’re not immediately familiar with, and not because you didn’t make things clear.
Was this part of the OWC? You really went all out and created a sense of place in 12 pages. That’s hard to do with fantasy. Also, I like that even the action read in a fantasy ‘voice.’ Cool.

This definitely seems like the plot of a feature film, and you have enough
drama, as (Khamannna? Did I get that right…) mentioned. And also a solid background/story line with all the questions regarding the war, goddess, etc…to make this longer.

A few questions/gripes…

Pg 4 – this dialogue didn’t work for me “Yes. You should have.”  I laughed when I read it (sorry) don’t know why, it just doesn’t seem like a great response.

Series of shots – these would take a long time to play out without feeling
rushed. You have a shitload. Definitely seeing a feature.

Pg 5 &6 – Miach’s dialogue to Urisk made me laugh, but I don’t think in a good way…Urisk I liked being a little smartarse, but Miach’s dialogue sounded like something from a fantasy pisstake, not something serious? Not sure. The fermented acorn thing is funny, but your script has a serious tone. Feels like his comments don’t
take this seriously, which brings me to the Bean nighe. After she came into the script, it feels like it’s not supposed to be taken seriously – was that your intention?
I’m just not sure what you were trying to do. Especially when the green mucus
and other men laughing at Eremon came into play.
I think images like “long thin breasts, swaying like empty socks,” tend to alienate the reader/and or make them laugh. I would have preferred to see you take the beautiful young woman route with the Bean nighe. (even if it’s only while he’s suckling)
That way we get to see ‘firm tits’ that don’t sway like empty socks, and the
image is still very true to the mythology. I know yours is the road ‘less’ traveled, but I just can’t get my head around that image…

Pg 11 – I get that Miach had to be out of the picture, but would he really stay sleeping here? Isn’t there another way to divert his attention.
Did I even read this scene right ?

- Also, Eremon is a dick. But that’s not an issue, just my perception of his character. Lol
Was that you acknowledging this by making his fortune/outcome still end up the same?
Ok. I think I’m projecting.

I also see that Ray laughs in the face of budgets… You’re thinking big here. Good on you.

I did enjoy this. Some good ideas in here.

Naomi

Gabe -
Wow. Thank you for your generous parallels.

I think you have too much going on in the series of shots.
I'd shoot those as maybe a second or two each with the exception of the dialog spot.
It's one of those things like explaining how a mouse trap works: Takes longer to explain it than to do it.
Takes longer to read it than to show it.

You also have too many characters.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
On screen it would be fine, visually.
You have three main characters. Everyone else is a bit part.

Make this a feature or a longer short. There's a story in here. You got the characters. Go work on it.
Gimme some time. I got others (more budget conscious) in the hopper ahead of it.


Mike -
Comparing this script "format-wise" to your very first script on SS...this is leaps and bounds better.
&
You've really applied yourself and it shows.   Good job.
Thank you very much. Sincerely.
I have been trying. Your noticing is appreciated.


Naomi -
It got a little confusing at times, but I think that was more because a lot of names/things that came up we?re not immediately familiar with, and not because you didn?t make things clear.
Yeah.
If I could insert a generally recognized animal for any of the mythical beasts it would make more sense without any visuals.
I don't see any sensible way of briefly explaining a moa conversing with a tassie tiger to someone who isn't at all familiar with either.

LoTR - "That's an ent. That's an uruk hai. That's a nazgul".
RoD - "That's a bendith. That's a urisk. That's a fear liath".

Was this part of the OWC?
Yes, but Pia noted the budget busting costumes alone and... eventually I understood the truth to it and banged out DEVIL'S ERUDITION in about five hours.

"Yes. You should have."
How about "Yes, you chickensh!t wuss. You shouldn't have d!cked around until your brother married me first. Numbnuts."
More better?
You can love someone and still hold a knife to their chin.
You girls are bad about that to us poor stupid males.
Very, very bad about it.

Series of shots ? these would take a long time to play out without feeling rushed.
Oh, they'd be merely sugestive.
No more than a second or two, each.
Takes more time to read 'em than to watch 'em.

Miach's dialogue sounded like something from a fantasy pisstake, not something serious?
Consider:
- He just gave his last living daughter away for sacrifice the night before,
- his pregnant wife is p!ssed at him and has cursed him,
- he's going to fight a war with old men and boys,
- the banshees screamed all night indicating their immenent doom,
- he's slept like sh!t on the dirty forest floor for only the latter bit of the night
- and he's hung over if not still drunk.
He's a little... foul and flippant.
Yet he still thinks of his village, unlike his chickensh!t brother whom thinks only of himself.

Bean nighe: was that your intention?
Dark humor, always at doom's edge.
To provide some modicum of peace to his brother Eremon does what he can, or is somewhat commanded to do, to get that pesky little urisk to go away.
The saggy old tits and puss are just simple disgust horror as opposed to mortal horror.
I try to drag the audience through a broad emotional range.

That way we get to see 'firm tits' that don't sway like empty socks
No, we can't have Eremon or Miach, both in love with Danu, go toking on 'firm tits' no matter the benefit.
People must be punished relentlessly.
Guilt is a central theme to humanity's current state of evolutionary development and story telling.
Nothing good comes easy.
There must ALWAYS be a sacrifice for a benefit.
No sucking perky tits for a wish.
Nope.
Can't have it.

I get that Miach had to be out of the picture, but would he really stay sleeping here? Did I even read this scene right ?
Hmm... possibly not.
Miach, still in a drunken stupor, just watched his brother Eremon suck bean nighe tit and is now watching him collect his wish with the fear liath - at a respectable distance.
Benefits of being the leader.  
(If you ain't the lead dog the view never changes!)

Also, Eremon is a dick.
Yup.
One brother is the good brother - but is forced to make really sh!tty decisions.
The other brother just isn't cut from the same cloth - gets to tag along by association rather than merit.

I did enjoy this. Some good ideas in here.
Good.
My intention is to entertain the audience.
I'll keep trying!



Hey, I really appreciate you guys giving this a good going over.
Really.
Thank you.

Rayness!

I didn't know this was your handy work!
No declaration of format exercise or list of goals.
So, I assumed it was another Ray, since it didn't say RayW.

Anyway onto the script, I wonder if you did set some "challenge" rules for yourself.
I ponder because the script is overflowing with mythology mash ups.
The second half of this was a very thick read for me.
It seemed the story couldn't progress without introducing a new creature.
Such a high volume of new critters made it hard for me to get invested in the script.
There's a whole lotta epicness here for a 12 page script.

Personally, I would prefer a little less mythology and more drama.
Miach and Eremon's brotherly relationship is basically a footnote in the story.
I'd like a little more character color there, perhaps it's a loveless marriage?
Miach's responsibilities keep him away for so long at a time or something?
Eremon and Danu truly love each other but fear for themselves.
Miach isn't a bad man but duty calls type thing, he loves his wife and brother.

I'm more interested in the forbidden love triangle than the hack and slash.
I think the tension can be ratcheted up if they are present for the sacrifice.
I found it odd that neither parent was present for the child's death.
Eremon genuinely believes he would not let that happen to his child.
Only to be faced with the same revolting scenario at the end.
I prefer Eremon be misguided than simply a selfish tool.

It's got the be careful what you wish for vibe going on for sure.
If the relationships were enhanced, the mythology stuff would feel less invasive.
Actually, you made need even less of it, who knows.

I applaud you for swinging for the cheap seats with this short.
It's refreshing to read one that isn't keeping it tight for filming potential.

Thanks for posting and keep writing and rewriting!

Regards,
E.D.

B-Maaannnnn!!!!! -

I didn't know this was your handy work! No declaration of format exercise or list of goals. So, I assumed it was another Ray, since it didn't say RayW.
Nope.
Yep. I think I got the format thing down good enough to give a rest the exercises no one else (who could have benefitted from) was interested in.
This was my first story for the challenge, but was flagged for budgetary reasons, so I popped out DEVIL'S ERUDITION Friday evening.
I don't know if I'll go ahead and run out the other five or so stories I have in mind.
Got other fish to fry, juno?

It seemed the story couldn't progress without introducing a new creature.
Such a high volume of new critters made it hard for me to get invested in the script.
Indeed, it couldn't.
- To get the wish Eremon would need to meet the bean nighe.
- To wake sleepy soldiers the urisk was needed.
- To kill everyone so that the wish and ring could be completed the fear liath was needed.

In case folks haven't noticed, I tend to be a deep researcher when I can.
Having gone through all of the critters on multiple internet hunts, multi-source references and image searches I felt pretty comfortable pulling them out of my imagination to construct a story as if they were as familiar as raccoons and rabbits.
As I pointed out in an above post, how they read and how they look on screen are two different things.
On paper it's a b!tch, but on screen when there's a big shadowy thing pulling up rocks everyone here should now know that's a fear liath.
When in Rome...

Actually, this kinda touches on a point I noodle occasionally.
(Whiney cry-baby) people b!tch and moan over standard HWood pablum spoon fed to them but then also b!tch-n-moan when you serve them something beyond their Kid Cuisine palatte.
Pick one, folks.

My problem is that I have at least two hard sci-fi features in mind where the technology is just... staggering.
Now, how do I communicate how a flash-light works to a dog, let alone a nuclear power plant?

There's a whole lotta epicness here for a 12 page script.
Yeah! Pretty cool, eh?

Personally, I would prefer a little less mythology and more drama.
I was thinking more along the lines of the creature galore HELLBOY movies.
This was for a horror audience.
They're usually not looking for Masterpiece Theater. Usually.

Miach and Eremon's brotherly relationship is basically a footnote in the story.
I'd like a little more character color there, perhaps it's a loveless marriage?
Miach's responsibilities keep him away for so long at a time or something?
Eremon and Danu truly love each other but fear for themselves.
Now, if I totally reworked, rather than just tweaked, this story that could reasonably be done.
Chop out fantasy entertainment, insert drama baggage. Done.

Miach isn't a bad man but duty calls type thing, he loves his wife and brother.
EXACTLY! That's the b!tch of it. Hard situations force hard decisions a lesser character would fold over. But it's common to bust the balls of those that force bitter medicine on others.
A mile in another person's shoes...

I'm more interested in the forbidden love triangle than the hack and slash.
Completely different story to expand on that with the page/time constraints given.

I think the tension can be ratcheted up if they are present for the sacrifice.
I found it odd that neither parent was present for the child's death.
True. It turns my stomach to seriously dwell on how often these sort of sacrifices ACTUALLY happened throughout human history.
Absolutely horrible.

Eremon genuinely believes he would not let that happen to his child.
Only to be faced with the same revolting scenario at the end.
I prefer Eremon be misguided than simply a selfish tool.
Turns out he will face the same situation as his brother!
And the ring goes round and round the tragic feedback loop.
Yeah, he is misguided.
IRL everyone thinks politicians and military leaders are some mythical leaders.
Um... nope. They're just as buggered as the rest of us.

I applaud you for swinging for the cheap seats with this short.
It's refreshing to read one that isn't keeping it tight for filming potential.
Hey, if you're gonna write - write BIG!
HEY, NOW! I could film this with a few thousand bucks!!
Don't be shocked and amazed if I give this a machinama treatment!
But don't hold your breath, or nothing.


Thank you for your time and attention on this, Brett
It might get stretched to a feature a couple years down the road.
Too many irons in the fire already.

*Spoilers*

Hey Ray -

Nice work - pretty impressive that I enjoyed this one, since I'm not a huge fan of sword and sorcery in general.

That said, loved the clean writing...and there were several "Ew" points in the script for me (especially the sucking at the teat stuff.  Worse than in 'The Cries'.  At least that wasn't green.  EW!)

Loved some of the descriptions (the breasts like empty socks.  Another "Ew" point, but very visual.)  And the dialogue for the Urisk was pretty nice, too.  Had character.

Even liked the way you pulled more than one mythos into it, with the Gray Man.

All of that said, the ending fell somewhat flat for me.  Not saying it didn't work at all - it did - but it felt a little cheap.  Seemed to me that something with more depth could come out of it.  Something with the changling baby?  That sort of fell off the radar, after the battle scenes started...

Just a thought.  But still - kudos.  

I really enjoyed this script. This was like the Feb OWC on steroids. Practically had all of the creatures!

It has the feel of a classic tale, almost like the way this tale would have been told by a bard centuries ago. Almost. It is a screenplay, after all.

It was a good story until the ending. When it became a great story!

I presume the child within Danu at the end is his brother's. Classic twist.

The way the Fear Liath killed them with the boulders was a little bit of a stretch, but then even that is consistent with how these old tales would have been told.

If the goal is to make a potentially filmable short, that would be tough here. A very expensive prospect. But the ending is good enough that you could consider using this as a basis to build a feature. If we only have to film the little guy and the giant, maybe not that expensive. The giant could be left in shadow.

Very nice work. One of the better shorts I've seen here.

Hey Ray,

Was this an unentered submission for the Celtic OWC?  Or is it just a great coincidence?  Either way -- if this had been submitted I think it would have been one of my favorites.

There's a lot going on for sure.   At times I thought there was actually TOO much going on.  Goblins and wars and defense and sacrifices and washer women -- you really touched on everything.  But while there's a lot going on, the script doesn't go overboard with any one thing and continuously moves to the next.  That helped me appreciate more what you were trying to do and I think ultimately works.

While I think the flow was a little heavy at times it is a marked improvement from other times where I've said it lagged.  Maybe cut a thing or two of the mythological stuff to really speed it up.  

But as is I really enjoyed it and as I said -- if this was in the Celtic OWC it would have been among my favorites.

Nice job!

Greg

While I enjoyed this script, I felt that there were too many characters in.  Given that these characters had unfamiliar names, made it that much harder to keep track of everyone.

This story, IMHO, could be expanded into a feature.  You've set up a lot in this little fantasy world.  Take advantage of it.


Phil

Hey Ray,

Just gave this one a read and noted the following:

P. 2 – “ELDER
But with goblins running the
countryside who will protect us?”

Goblins “roaming” the countryside?

P. 4 – “Bedith Y Mamau”

I had no idea what/who this was.  Just did a quick search and found the following:

http://www.monstropedia.org/index.php?title=Bendith_Y_Mamau

I don’t know, but it might be worth a little intro for those not in the know.  Then again, I know it’s part of your series of shots, so I’m not really sure how you would do that.

P. 4

“SERIES OF SHOTS”

Just something to think about, but when I’ve seen “series of shots” in the past, I’ve noticed that they are usually numbered.  Not sure that it makes a big deal, but something to consider.

As far as the story, it's not really usually my type of thing, but I found it interesting, and like Phil mentioned, I think you might be able to expand on it.  As someone else pointed out, as currently constructed, you have a bunch of mythology crammed into 12 pages, and for those unfamiliar with it (like myself), it can be a bit of a heavy read IMO.

That said, I really enjoyed the ending.  Anyway, hope this helps, and best of luck.

Craig

Holy moley!
When did all you guys read this?
Goodness, gracious!

Alrighty then...

Janet -
Thank you, very much.
That said, loved the clean writing...and there were several "Ew" points in the script for me (especially the sucking at the teat stuff.  Worse than in 'The Cries'.  At least that wasn't green.  EW!)
Heh! Yeah... gotta get your gross body horror in there when you can.

All of that said, the ending fell somewhat flat for me.  Not saying it didn't work at all - it did - but it felt a little cheap.  
Yeah, had that kinda quick & cheap Twilight zone thing going on. Guilty.
I appreciate your appreciation just the same.


Kevin -
Practically had all of the creatures!
Buddy, I jammed as many as I could in there. I wanted this to be my Star Wars Cantina scene or Jabba the Hutt lair.
Any way possible I could make the SHORT more layered and complex while still retaining relevance I went for it.

I presume the child within Danu at the end is his brother's. Classic twist.
Bingo. You assume correct. Ain't family a b!tch.

The way the Fear Liath killed them with the boulders was a little bit of a stretch, but then...
Yeah, I took a little liberty with that, but...
Pia identified that the costumes alone would kill a "small budget" short. She's right, of course, so I withheld this submission as a challenge entry.
I thought the horse would be the expensive part. Some heavy makeup+latex prosthetics, some green screen work, maybe setting up the village, but I had that at night on purpose, so... yeah. That.



Greg -
Was this an unentered submission for the Celtic OWC?  Or is it just a great coincidence?  Either way -- if this had been submitted I think it would have been one of my favorites.
Yeah, it was. But a pre-submission look-over flagged it on expenses, so I shelved it on Wednesday and coughed up DEVIL'S ERUDITION Thursday or Friday at the last gasping moment.
Coincidence? Oh, h3ll no! I had never heard of most any of these freaky things. I just did a bit of homework and assumed everyone else in the challenge would as well, which surprised me that several folks found the litany of mythical creatures to be more than a wee over the top.
"WTH is this?"
"WTH is that?"
"Who are they?"
Sorry.

At times I thought there was actually TOO much going on.
Yessir. I really jammed that sh!t in there.
I draw a distinct difference between how things read and how things will look on the screen. On screen - this would float. On paper - I acknowledge it's a bloody slogfest. Owned.

That helped me appreciate more what you were trying to do and I think ultimately works.
I am glad I succeeded in this respect. Thank you.

But as is I really enjoyed it and as I said -- if this was in the Celtic OWC it would have been among my favorites.
Hot hamn!


Phil -
... I felt that there were too many characters in.  Given that these characters had unfamiliar names, made it that much harder to keep track of everyone.
Jammed them in like sardines.
Yeah... if you weren't familiar with the given mythological characters you'd be kinda far behind in class.
My approach was that if a director asked for a product and gave certain criteria then the director would be responsible for knowing what that criteria was and being fluent in it.

This story, IMHO, could be expanded into a feature.  You've set up a lot in this little fantasy world.  Take advantage of it.
I may very well do that. Maybe if Guillermo del Toro isn't too busy dropping projects and could wrap up The Hobbit toot sweet...

Craig -
I had no idea what/who this was.  Just did a quick search and found the following:
I don't know, but it might be worth a little intro for those not in the know.
Oh, you definitely would have to be conversationally fluent in these mythological creatures to keep up.
The director provided this data set to us, I researched into which came from like/kind cultures and historical times and went hog wild.
No "single monster terrorizes all" scenario. This was deliberately crafted as a world where humans and mythical beasts had fairly close interactive lives, much akin to the modern workforce where not everyone is a handsome WASP. Blecht!

... but when I've seen series of 'shots in the past', I've noticed that they are usually numbered.  Not sure that it makes a big deal, but something to consider.
Valid point I also had to verify. Officially - it's purely discretionary. Since this project had a page limit I opted to forgo that discretionary detail, otherwise you/me agree.

I think you might be able to expand on it.  As someone else pointed out, as currently constructed, you have a bunch of mythology crammed into 12 pages, and for those unfamiliar with it (like myself), it can be a bit of a heavy read IMO.
RING OF DECISIONS is a regular zip file of mythology. I deliberately went ape sh!t. Just had fun with it. And I just may expand on this core scenario at some point.

That said, I really enjoyed the ending.  Anyway, hope this helps, and best of luck.
Fantastic. Thank you. Glad it had good entertainment value.


You guys are great!
Read you around.