The Unlikely Temptations of Christ by Mark Moore (irish eyes) - Short, Comedy - After fasting for forty days and forty nights, Jesus is tempted by the devil, in the most unusual ways. 7 pages - pdf, format

This will only be available until April 10th, so please watch and like it.  Help a fellow SSer out.

Unlikely Temptations from Alex Pop on Vimeo.

Well I gave this a quick read, Mark, and it was pretty funny.

A few things included in the first paragraph would be deemed unfilmable...is that a word?

One thing stood out though.  You said the midget walked shoulder to shoulder with Jesus.  Should that be shoulder to waist? lol.

Anyway not sure if I can add much more other than I chuckled my way through it.

Thanks Anthony... This was supposed to be titled "Jesus and the Midget"  I tried changing it, but obviously I missed my moment.

Mark

Hey Mark.

A cool little short which made me smile.  I personally woulda been finished at the bubble wrap.

So I agree with alffy about that opening paragraph.  The forty days/nights part we can't know.  The tattered clothes and exhausted look on his face is enough IMO.

I think "Satan!" should be "Satan?" in the midget's dialogue on that first page.  By the way, the midget isn't properly introduced.  Also, God should be capitalized.

A few orphans running around.  That last passage had me chuckling.  I think if you had Jesus post, "Screw you Rachael", it could worked also.  Or perhaps, "Guess which savior of man just scored a sweet Ferrari F12 Berlinetta?!"  Just picturing our savior Jesus rolling through the streets of Jerusalem in a Ferrari and shades...so awesome.  Sorry, I'm running away with your story.  Haha.  Good short, man.

P.S.  Unfilmable isn't a word but hey.

Hey Mark,

I can just see a bunch of hardcore Christians taking offense to this one. I'm Christian, myself, but I found this incredibly amusing. The bubble wrap would have had me begging at the Midget's feet. I can't resist that stuff

I liked the way you mingled modern themes into a story obviously set in the past. I appreciate anything like that, and this is no exception.

Apart from the small mishaps that Anthony has already covered, the writing is clean. Here's what I got...

Page 1: "His body and mind has punished while fasting for forty long hard days and nights." - This is the "unfilmable" that Anthony mentioned in his review.

You need to CAP the Midget when he first appears.

Other than that, I did like it. Had me chuckling throughout.

Sorry I can't add much.

Dan

I thought this was cute, though it dragged on a little bit for a one-joke skit.

Formatting was good, though things could be a little tighter.

Quoted Text Alone in the desert walks JESUS CHRIST, late 30s, clothes tattered and torn. He grows weary with every step. His body and mind has punished, while fasting for forty long hard days and nights.

could be better written as:

Quoted Text JESUS walks through the burning desert.  He's dissheveled and exhausted; his clothes are tatters.

Mentioning his age and the forty days isn't needed.  It's a given.  Tightening things up like this could turn this into a three page script.

Hope this helps.


Phil

Thanks Regular John, Dan and Phil.

I was born and raised an Irish catholic, but "Life of Brian" is my favorite comedy of all time. So if it makes me laugh, I don't care about being offensive

It was written as a comedy sketch, actually for Felipe, for the Doritos superbowl commercial... but it was too edgy and he didn't have all his film crew together(I think)

thanks again

Mark

Hi Mark. Here is my review of your script.

1 star for the idea. You gave me ideas for a part 2 of this. Not too say that I would write it.

1 star for your writing. I didn't find any real problems with what you wrote.

1 star for execution. You executed what you wanted to tell fairly well besides the idea that the midget could reach Jesus ear with the bubble wrap.

Overall. I give this script a 3.20 out of 5. It would've got  a 4 or 5 if the temptations where a little bit more tempting.

Quoted from irish eyes I was born and raised an Irish catholic, but "Life of Brian" is my favorite comedy of all time. So if it makes me laugh, I don't care about being offensive

Good ol' Monty Python. Wasn't a fan of "Life of Brian" but "Holy Grail" is by far the best comedy ever. My Dad's sense of humor rubbed off on me

Mark,

a clean, enjoyable read with nice use of visuals.  Could see the back and forth between Jesus and the Midget working well.  Agree with the others that the opening paragraph needs re-working.

The bubble-wrap and the face-book lines ‘that’s not what Rachel said...’ gave me a chuckle as did the quick-fire with the camel and horse -- though I’m not sure either the animals or the Ferrari would be too budget friendly, just a thought...

A couple of orphans that could be tidied up and some unnecessary extra spaces in the action lines (check page 4).

There’s a number of parentheticals that could be switched to action lines -- though it didn’t harm the read for me, I appreciate that’s a preference thing.

Good stuff -- best of luck with it.

Steve.

Congratulations, Mark.  You caught me on a VERY rare occasion that I happen to be in the mood for comedy.

And I laughed at this one.  The whole way through.  Mission accomplished.  I'm guessing you're not looking for little niggles in formatting on this one and I'm usually not one to give them anyway.  You're probably just after if the idea worked or not.  And in my eyes, it's a success.

And, I think it could've made a great Doritos commercial.  (But ultimately, I think you guys were right.  It might be a bit too edgy for some.  A lot of people get angry when midgets are involved.)

(Oh yeah, and the suffering Jesus, too.)

A very enjoyable read and thanks for posting it.

- Mark

EDIT:

And don't change the title.  I loved it.  I would've probably never opened 'Jesus and the Midget' up no matter how in the mood for comedy I am.

Quoted from Vaproductions Overall. I give this script a 3.20 out of 5. It would've got  a 4 or 5 if the temptations where a little bit more tempting.

How do you get much more tempting than bubble wrap! ?

Just kidding thanks for the review and the stars.

Quoted from Phil I don't think any of the die-hard Jesus-freaks are on the boards now, Mark.  Feel free to bash.

I'm waiting for the first "BLASPHEMER" feedback

Quoted from Steve I’m not sure either the animals or the Ferrari would be too budget friendly

Thanks for the read Steve..Yeah I wrote it as a comedy sketch and went for the ridiculous at the end..  I think that  if someone wanted to produce it, it would be very easy to substitute.

Quoted from Mark 2 Congratulations, Mark.  You caught me on a VERY rare occasion that I happen to be in the mood for comedy.

When I submitted it, I left a side note with Don to post on the 23rd, because that's when Mark 2 is at his most happiest.... and it worked

I think budget wise, it would have easier to get a bag of Doritos than a horse, camel and a Ferrari

Quoted from Mark 2 And don't change the title.  I loved it.  I would've probably never opened 'Jesus and the Midget' up no matter how in the mood for comedy I am.

I thought "Jesus and the Midget" would have been more eye catching... but again that's why I never titled that way... I knew YOU wouldn't open it :

It's a "Mark" thing   Thanks for the read, i'm glad you enjoyed it.

Mark

Hey Mark,

Always a hoot to drop in on scripts by SS vets.
AS to the opening paragraph dealy... that's an easy fix...

Jesus needs a hot date with a bath tub, looks like he's hasn't sponged off in forty days and forty nights.

There.

Seems a fistful of Jesus' lines come off redundant and bloat the page count.
Cuz that's never happened before *cough* Bible. *cough* Ahem!

Methinks you got the wrong female name here. Try this one...

JESUS
Say what you will, for I am the son
of God.

MIDGET
(still glancing over
facebook)
Ohh. That's not what Mary said
and she's got a lot of followers, bro.

JESUS
Really? Figures.

But that's just me.

The car gag kinda clunked for me.
But there's a lot to like here. Good stuff!

Regards,
E.D.

BLASPHEMER!!!

Eh, somebody had to say it.  I thought this was a great idea, great concept.  I'm a big fan of Monty Python and this seemed like it would have worked great as a sketch on their series.  Still on the fence about the ending, but I think it grows on you, so probably wouldn't change anything about it.

Just some things you could correct and they're so minor it's hardly worth mentioning, but here goes:

1.  Your title page -- Need to capitalize "Unlikely" and "Temptations"

2.  First page you have a lower case "god" where you capitalize it the rest of the way.

3.  Facebook needs to be capitalized everywhere, as does Berlinetta.

Others have already mentioned the first action sequence that should be changed. But you know, if those are the only things people have to gripe about, you have a damn fine piece here.  Huzzah!

Gary

Quoted from Brett Jesus needs a hot date with a bath tub, looks like he's hasn't sponged off in forty days and forty nights.

Quoted from Brett JESUS Say what you will, for I am the son of God. MIDGET (still glancing over facebook) Ohh. That's not what Mary said and she's got a lot of followers, bro. JESUS Really? Figures. But that's just me.

That's funny shit Brett,,  I laughed my arse off seriously and I'm stealing it

Now what is this "Bible" you speak of ?...

Thanks for the feedback

Quoted from Gary BLASPHEMER!!!

How dare you Gary!!! My script is completely fictional, based on fictional characters that I created... any similarity is merely coincidence, especially other fictional books

capital letters are overrated

thanks for the feedback

Mark

I thought this started off well and could've been a lot of fun but ultimately felt like a lesser Whose Line Is It Anyway? skit. The jokes were also extremely interchangeable. I honestly think you could've swapped the order of all of them and literally changed nothing else in the script.

That said, the order of the jokes was especially a bummer as the bubble wrap gag was actually really funny. Out of the three of them, it feels the most like a payoff and while I doubt my feelings toward the script would've changed if it came up last, you certainly would've ended on a high note. I also think it has zinger caliber due to its timelessness; you could've written this 10-20-30 years ago, bubble wrap would've been just as effective.

I hold a special disdain for topical jokes in general but even putting aside my prejudices, I think Facebook was especially an obvious theme to build off. The Ferrari was just kinda lame. Didn't irk me as much as the Facebook gag did but it certainly didn't resonate with me either.

Collectively, I think the gags coupled with Jesus's responses just made Satan look pathetic. None of his attempts to tempt Jesus got any bites so he just switched up his game each time. I think you could up the conflict by having each attempt make some kind of dent in Jesus's defenses so that Satan could have something to work off. At this point, Jesus's stoicism just sorta see-saws; I certainly wouldn't call it a gradual decline. Not only does this take away from the tension, it takes away from the comedy. For this to work, we all have to want to see Jesus sweating.

Not that you have to take my advice but I think the ideal way to remedy this would be to do away with the last two gags and just expand on the bubble wrap. I seriously think that was a stroke of genius and frankly, it'd be a delight to see an unflinching Jesus crumble in the face of something so simple and childish.

...all in good fun, of course.

Hope this helps. I think there's potential here, even within the boundaries of modest aspirations.

We're probably not supposed to do this when we read scripts, but when I read this for a second time, I had a young Bill Murray as Jesus and Vern Troyer as "the midget" and it was funnier.

Nitpicking on this point - you have Jesus in his late 30's but it is accepted that he was about 33 at the time of his cruxifiction. His ministry started when he was 30 (that's actually quite clear) and it appears to have lasted about 3 1/2 years.

Again, I don't know why, but the tone of it had me picture Bill Murray and Vern Troyer in those roles. Obviously Murray wouldn't work NOW, but I had the Stripes-era Murray in my head.

Hey Mark,

I'm a Catholic and, I support this short. I mean Jesus and God win in the end. lol. The end is what I find the most comical. lol. I do agree with Brett about using Mary. That would be funnier.

Gabe

Quoted from irish eyes That's funny shit Brett,,  I laughed my arse off seriously and I'm stealing it

LOL! Glad I could help, Mark.
I was taking a short break from my own script and read yours.
Gotta keep that brain working at all times!

Regards,
E.D.

Hey mark,

Sorry I seemed to have missed this one.

I enjoyed it, a fun read . The bubble wrap immediately reminded me of WALLE one of my favourite films, and includes great scene involving human quirks such as bubble wrap and the Rubix cube.

If anything, I agree withnjames that it would be sensible for the stakes - excuse the pun- to be raised as the midget fails to corrupt him.

All the best.

Yo Mark.

I don't have much to add that others haven't already said. I liked this without loving it.

The bubble wrap had me chuckling, I liked the Facebook bit but the ferrari bit I found a bit 'meh'. I would of preferred something else along the lines of the bubble wrap, for example give him a button that says 'Do Not Press'. I always want to press buttons that I shouldn't.

Also I like Bretts idea of calling the girl Mary instead of Rachel.

A neat little effort for what it is.

Arty.

Hey Mark. Thought I'd give this a read.

I'll be honest and say I chuckled quite a few times. Some funny stuff here but the ending was a little sudden, nothing too bad though.

It delivered laughs and that's all that matters.

Holy crap, I was only gone for day and noticed a lot of feedback...

Thank you all for commenting and just remember:



Mark

So, checked this here out Fellow Irish Budday whom is from Derry but no resides in the land of Apples that are Big.  I don't know why I said all, that?!  Lol.

This was an amusing short.  I enjoyed it a lot.

My nitpicks:

You wrote "Iphone", and because I have OCD and am a freak, you should have said "iPhone" and be socially correct!  Damn you, what has the United States done to you, Mark?!  Haha, just kidding.  It was just a little nitpick.

Overall, it didn't have me laughing out loud, but I did find it rather amusing and might have giggled once.  It's pithy, moves fast, and is a great idea for a short.  Jesus being tempted with Facebook was just awesome, man!

For some reason, when the midget goes: "Yoohoo, Jesus" at the start I was totally imagining him skipping along, camp-like, in a Valley Girl accent.

Very well done, worth the read.  Pacts a punch in 5 pages.  Very nice writing.  I love your style, Mark!

CURT !!!!!

Quoted from Curt I have OCD and am a freak

You'll fit in nicely

Quoted from Curt For some reason, when the midget goes: "Yoohoo, Jesus" at the start I was totally imagining him skipping along, camp-like, in a Valley Girl accent.

Me too

You see... that was an honest review(I think) and that's all people ask for. Let me know when your script is uploaded and I'll give you feedback.

Alright Mucker... take it easy

Mark

Haha, that was a totally honest review.  Great read, I enjoyed it a lot

And coolzies, I will mate!  Agh, there comes the "mucker" again, oh Jesus feel like I'm strolling ,bout dah town with ma mates

Hey Mark,

Well it's official, Jesus is stronger than I am. I would have gone for the bubble wrap. Haha

All positives from me. I really enjoyed the script, found it very funny throughout and a breeze to read through. I loved the last line "Screw you Rachel". It was a great way to finish.

Best of luck with future scripts.

- Dirk

Thanks Dirk, I think that's what makes him the real deal... we all would have crippled at bubble wrap

It all started like this: On a construction site, there was bubble wrap from a package delivered. I grabbed it and started popping it. A co-worker said "You just can't help yourself" 5 mins later he was doing it.
"It's very tempting" he said and I responded with "What would Jesus do?"
and from there I wrote my short.

Mark

Hey Mark,

Not much to add – it’s an amusing little skit and I enjoyed the read.

The writing was a little awkward in places, and it could probably do with trimming a page off but who really cares about the little niggles.

You aimed to give peeps a laugh and I think you’ve achieved that.

Good work.

Steve

Hey Mark - I liked this. The writing had short-comings here and there, but no major issues.

I dug all the subtext here - even thought I thought some of it wasn't intentional -- but I guess that's just the good old Catholic creeping out of you.

The devil as a midget, I liked - making him a non-threat, had echoes of 'Usual Suspects' "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." ... or in your case, convincing us (Jesus) that he wasn't a threat.

I liked the costume the midget was dressed in, but one minute it was a 'devil costume' and the next it was a '(poorly designed) goat costume'. I get the reference, but ...

The use of Rachel, I liked. Again, subtext that I'm not convinced you were aware of --Rachel, meaning Ewe, using Facebook was clever.

I liked the F12 response from Jesus -- at this stage we're all in on the joke, so there has to be something (I still went for the bubble wrap) that Jesus goes for - and in particular I like that the Ferrari is red - devil's colors ... nicely complimented.

Gripes? The ending - I went for it, but I wasn't too sure about the execution -- I was thinking along the lines of the angels have dust kicked in their face, and then Jesus running of in the F12. Maybe just my opinion, but the work depends on how well the twist kicks off, so I wouldn't skimp on the details of that too much.

Good stuff from a fellow Catholic -- just what I like to see  

Steve

Good to see you around, glad you enjoyed it

Quoted from Simon The devil as a midget, I liked - making him a non-threat, had echoes of 'Usual Suspects' "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." ... or in your case, convincing us (Jesus) that he wasn't a threat.

I was also adding to the comedy element, having a midget in shitty dollar store goat costume, kinda plays off a little better.

Quoted from Simon The use of Rachel, I liked. Again, subtext that I'm not convinced you were aware of --Rachel, meaning Ewe,

Oh yeah I totally mean't that .

Thanks for the read and feedback Simon

Just remember, good always gets the bubble wrap

Mark

Mark

Cool title, I’m presuming this will be Scorsese inverted!

“His body and mind has punished, while fasting for forty long
hard days and nights.”

- Unfilmable. How are we supposed to know this? The dialogue later explains it so leave it out here.

Had to laugh at the Facebook reference.

MIDGET
(still glancing over
facebook)
Ohh. That's not what Rachel said
and she got quite a few likes.

- Good line.

“A horse appears, as Jesus has fallen on his knees.”

- Reads awkwardly. How about:

“A horse appears as Jesus falls to his knees.”

I know it’s only a four pager but the ending felt a little weak. I guess I was waiting for a punchline or twist or perhaps for Jesus to give into temptation in the most ignoble way possible. I enjoyed the satirical tone, the cheap devil suit wearing midget was a suitably random addition but overall it felt a little flat.

Interesting comedic material to be mined nonetheless, I always love a bit of irreverence in the arts!

Col.

Quoted from Col I know it’s only a four pager but the ending felt a little weak. I guess I was waiting for a punchline or twist or perhaps for Jesus to give into temptation in the most ignoble way possible. I enjoyed the satirical tone, the cheap devil suit wearing midget was a suitably random addition but overall it felt a little flat.

Maybe that was the catholic in me, that let him win... but I figured giving him everything in the end was a twist.

Thanks for the read and feedback Col

Mark

And here was me thinking this was a playful jab at good ole Jesus H Christ and abstinence. Oh dear.

I get what you’re saying though, Mark, and in a way, it did subvert my expectations.

Hey Mark,

I'm a bit late though had to do it mate.

Didn't read any comments above so I apologise if I am repeating anything.

I am a big fan of "Life of Brian" so I can relate to this type of humor.

Apart from a few minor errors in the writing, the story is great and got a giggle or two from it. Great job.

Just a few minor things I picked up along the way:-

"while fasting for forty long hard days and nights" This can't be filmed ??
Maybe an action line: "His rib bones are visible through his bare skinned chest"
This will give the idea he has not eaten much in some time.

MIDGET
Hell no. Do you how much they're
asking?... three hundred grand.

Do you know how much ......... Missing word.

Since he hadn't eaten for 40 days and nights I thought you may have tempted him with some fried chicken or some type of food ??? Maybe after dinner mints !!!!

Loved the read and the bubble wrap was the best part.

Regards Alex

Quoted from Col And here was me thinking this was a playful jab at good ole Jesus H Christ and abstinence. Oh dear.

Hey Col

I also thought my script was just a playful jibe at old Jesus and every other peep saw it that way except Michael  

Michael I would honestly rather you told me that you hated it, than quote the bible. It does nothing for feedback and it comes off as a red rag to a bull for me.  

Even though I was born and raised catholic, my kids are catholic, my wife is catholic, the one thing that drives me against religion, is when people ram it down your throat. Everyone has a right to believe in what they want. I don't need to be preached the bible, on a simple comedy short that involves Jesus, a midget and bubble wrap!!!

There are more than 730 established Religions in the world which are broken out into more than 3200 different sects. Christianity, for example is 1 of the major religions but has more than 200 sub sects, each with their own unique traditions and interpretations of the bible... you obviously have yours, Michael... just leave it at and also leave your quotes off my script site please.

Thank you

Mark

Quoted from Michael On a positive note; your writing style has improved quite a bit.

Thanks Michael for your kind words

Quoted from Alex Apart from a few minor errors in the writing, the story is great and got a giggle or two from it. Great job.

Thanks Alex, glad you liked it.

Mark

Yo Mark!

Promised I'd give this one a read, so here I am.

The midget thing makes a lot more sense. As I'm sure you don't recall, I read your scripts out of order. I read the follow up to this first.

Regardless, I thought this script was a mixed bag for me (very much like your other script). I like the idea of Jesus on social media. Not sure if it gels well with the 40 days/40 nights in the desert ordeal. In fact, I saw a lot of missed potential here. I liked the bubble wrap thing, but I thought it could be encorporated better. In fact, I'd have Satan with a quick series of things that are nearly impossible to resist. Like a rapid fire, one after the other.

I would also ground this one in truth. Examine the real story and play upon that. What you have here is very random and a bit hard to follow. If you parody the original story (and I do mean story), then you pack a bit more punch.

But overall I enjoyed this one. Keep on fighting the good fight and remember to stay on the path of the straight and narrow...err I mean winding and broad.

Your brother in Christ,
wb

Hey Will

Thanks for the read, back in reply 48, that was actually about the script.

Quoted from Padre Will I would also ground this one in truth. Examine the real story and play upon that.

I thought I did, based on what I read.

Glad you enjoyed it

and peace be with you

Mark

Hey Mark,

I fuckin' loved this. Probably one of the best I've read so far this year.

As others have said, don't change the title to "Jesus and the Midget." The title you have now is much more fitting and an even bigger attention-grabber.

I thought the temptations you came up with got progressively funnier. I thought the red button could've been even funnier if it had the word "easy" written on the top. Google that if you don't get it.

The temptation with the iPhone was pretty obvious, but I thought it could've been funnier if you maybe singled out a service provider like Sprint for the lousy reception.

I was grinning ear to ear when Satan pulled out the bubble wrap. Even I want some right now.

The whole time I was reading this, I saw a little bit of John Leguizamo's Clown from that terrible Spawn movie in the character of the midget. At least that type of energy. I could see Tony Cox pulling off the role perfectly.

Actually, I think this entire short would be most effective if done in flash animation.

Great job with this. It was funny as hell.

No pun intended.

Chris

Hey Chris

Thanks for the read

Quoted from Chris Actually, I think this entire short would be most effective if done in flash animation.

This is what I'm hoping for, I'm writing a series. the 2nd one is up here "The unlikely last supper".

I think animation would be the best way to go.

Thanks again

Mark

I'm waiting for "The Unlikely Loaves and Fishes" myself.


Phil

Quoted from Phil I'm waiting for "The Unlikely Loaves and Fishes" myself.

Believe or not,  that was next in line

Mark

Quoted from irish eyes Believe or not,  that was next in line.

Fish sandwiches again?  Jesus Christ!  Is he the son of God or Arthur Treacher's?


Phil

Quoted from Phil Fish sandwiches again?  Jesus Christ!  Is he the son of God or Arthur Treacher's?

You're way ahead of me

Mark

Hey Mark,

Great little sketch, very funny.  


P2 Jesus pulls back his finger - at first glance I thought it said - Jesus says pull my finger, I thought, h,m interesting a counter temptation - would the midget have pulled his finger?

Michael

Quoted from trickyb P2 Jesus pulls back his finger - at first glance I thought it said - Jesus says pull my finger, I thought, h,m interesting a counter temptation - would the midget have pulled his finger?

I like that thought, maybe i'll use it in a future episode

welcome to SS and thanks for the read

Mark

What!!!

I want more....tell me the real thing will follow?

Good photography by the way.

What's happening....

Looks great!

In Search of Hysterical Jesus?

Wow! Thanks Don
Sorry Bill, it's been entered into a lot film festivals and as I no longer own the rights I only get to see what the director gives me  

I haven't seen the full film myself.

Thanks guys

Looking good, Irish!

I mean, really pro. I also wanted moore...   Ha, my stupid tablet did that so I left it in.

Congrats man. That looks really good.

Quoted from RegularJohn So I agree with alffy about that opening paragraph.  The forty days/nights part we can't know.  The tattered clothes and exhausted look on his face is enough IMO.

Merely writing 'tattered and exhausted' does not tell a full story. Without the forty days and nights part, then how exhausted and tattered would the actor know how to be? Not all information in a script has to be for the viewer, IMO.

Well done on getting this filmed, I'll check it out tonight.

This looks great, and Like Libby said, very professional. Can't wait to see the full version. Inthinknits gonna be a hoot! Congratulations.

Steve

Looks great, seems funny.

Look forward to seeing the whole thing. Great job.

That trailer is pretty amazing, Mark!  Where in the world was that filmed?  It's a great look, for sure! Congrats!

Great trailer, Mark! You should be super proud!
I still remember reading your funny short back in the day.
Can't wait to see the completed film.
Please keep us up to speed on the project.

Regards,
EDreamer

Quoted from Libby Looking good, Irish! I mean, really pro. I also wanted moore...   Ha, my stupid tablet did that so I left it in.

Aha I see what you did there
Thanks Libby

Quoted from Gabe Congrats man. That looks really good.

Thanks Buddy

Quoted from Dustin Well done on getting this filmed, I'll check it out tonight.

Thanks Dustin

Quoted from Steve This looks great, and Like Libby said, very professional. Can't wait to see the full version. Inthinknits gonna be a hoot! Congratulations.

Thank you kind sir... now get back to 'the Followers'

Quoted from Demento Looks great, seems funny. Look forward to seeing the whole thing. Great job.

Thanks... I look forward to seeing it myself

Quoted from Gary That trailer is pretty amazing, Mark!  Where in the world was that filmed?  It's a great look, for sure! Congrats!

GARY!!!! what's happening bro? This was shot in Dumont Dunes north of Baker,  California, or so I was told

Quoted from Brett Great trailer, Mark! You should be super proud! I still remember reading your funny short back in the day. Can't wait to see the completed film. Please keep us up to speed on the project.

Hey stranger, what's going on Brett?
You were one of the first to comment on this and helped me clean up a few punchlines.

Greatly appreciated.


This short has been entered in all the major film festivals in the US. Got turned down from Sundance which is the big one... apparently though they accepted a farting corpse movie, because Daniel Radcliffe is in it

Thank you all for your kind remarks, as soon as I see the full movie, you'll be the first to know

Screw Sundance. They don't know what they lost. Good luck with the others.

California? Great scouting. It looks like the middle east somewhere. Looks amazing!

There's an area in New Mexico, not too far from Albuquerque, if I remember correctly that looks just like how you'd imagine Mars. I swear all the movies made to look like Mars were shot there. All the sand and rocks are a rusty red and nothing grows there. The western US really has some incredible looking landscapes!

The script is actually pretty funny.  I went back to look and liked it a lot.  Nice one.

This production looks great so far.  Will be curious to see what they do with the rest of it.

Quoted from Gabe Screw Sundance. They don't know what they lost. Good luck with the others.

Thanks Gabe, that's what I say

Quoted from Pia California? Great scouting. It looks like the middle east somewhere. Looks amazing! There's an area in New Mexico, not too far from Albuquerque, if I remember correctly that looks just like how you'd imagine Mars. I swear all the movies made to look like Mars were shot there. All the sand and rocks are a rusty red and nothing grows there. The western US really has some incredible looking landscapes!

Yeah he's based in LA... Shoots a lot of music videos out there.

Quoted from bert The script is actually pretty funny.  I went back to look and liked it a lot.  Nice one. This production looks great so far.  Will be curious to see what they do with the rest of it.

Thanks Bert. He put a lot of money and time into it, really looks great.

Hey Mark,
     Thanks for sending me the links to your stories.

This was funny.  Really funny.  And the promo looks amazing.  You did a great job.

I read all the comments too.  I'd like to add a few:

1.  You should have some indication this is his 40 days and nights walkabout.  Why not a voice over, by the Devil?

2.  I liked the gags, sort of.  The bubble-wrap stuff was funny.  The others were okay.  I'd go with women, rock and roll, and something else, and have Jesus be a smart ass to Satan.  

I think the only thing that I didn't care for was that Jesus was just like "Be gone Satan."  and didn't really say something clever back.  Why would he believe that Mary would say something bad about him, or do you mean his "wife"  Mary?  I initially thought it was Mary, his mom...

Other then that, great job.  It was funny, it was a fast easy read...

Dan

ps, great job getting it made!!

Quoted from DanC Hey Mark,      Thanks for sending me the links to your stories. This was funny.  Really funny.  And the promo looks amazing.  You did a great job. I read all the comments too.  I'd like to add a few: 1.  You should have some indication this is his 40 days and nights walkabout.  Why not a voice over, by the Devil? 2.  I liked the gags, sort of.  The bubble-wrap stuff was funny.  The others were okay.  I'd go with women, rock and roll, and something else, and have Jesus be a smart ass to Satan.   I think the only thing that I didn't care for was that Jesus was just like "Be gone Satan."  and didn't really say something clever back.  Why would he believe that Mary would say something bad about him, or do you mean his "wife"  Mary?  I initially thought it was Mary, his mom... Other then that, great job.  It was funny, it was a fast easy read... Dan ps, great job getting it made!!

Thanks again for the read and review. The temptations changed numerous times for the producer. The bubble wrap(which apparently is everyone's fav) is the only temptation that survived

Funny as hell, bro!! Was funnier second time around!

Thanks Don

Need all the likes we can on Vimeo fellow Peeps !!! appreciate it.

Nice one - signed up for Vimeo and Liked - best of luck

That was FUNNY! Looked great! Great acting! Big congratulations! Voted too.  

Done! Yeah, that's a nice short! Good luck to you with it!

Nice production - well done.

Great job man. I would have liked if the original was shot but I was surprised in how they were able to input that sexy woman in there lol. Good luck and congrats man.

Gabe

Thank you all for support

Let us know how it goes!

Don

We won the best longer short film lol  

https://porcovetepictures.com/2017-winners/


Thanks again Don

Cool

Well done `Red

Thanks Bill

Super duper congrats Irish!