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How you going? It's good to see back on the mend after your little accident and I apologize for not offering my well-wishes at the time - was a little busy and off SS during the time.
Anyway, moving on.
I loved the attention to detail throughout this one, it reads like you've done your research and I can appreciate that whenever I see it in a script. The characters were vivid and believable while the dialogue read genuine and real for what is a difficult circumstance. I can only praise you for the dialogue on this one - excellent work.
I liked the ending even if it was over dramatic .. which I guess might be the case in this situation - not sure. I wasn't quite sure what side I was rooting for when reading although it seemed you were siding with the NCADP through Michael. I'm sure there is some deeper meaning behind it all (after looking back through the feedback, it seems there is) but I'm afraid to say that those sort of thing goes right over my head
My only real complaint would be the length as it did become a rather strenuous read but this could be more to do with me, I do have a short attention span at times. I actually liked the reporter and cameraman being shown around the facility but couldn't help but wonder if this could be cut and more empathize put on the Michael and Antwan relationship earlier in the piece.
The writings solid - a little error on page 7 where Michael talks twice in a row and the odd lines could be tightened up:
"The MD rolls his tray of needles and syringes closer (to him and he begins to) pick one up." Could be "...syringes closer and picks one up."
But honestly, all nitpicks and really nothing to worry about.
A solid story but could be shortened, IMO - excellent work.
I was wondering what happened to you. I haven't seen you for awhile, although I haven't been able to get on SS the past week as much as I wanted to. Welcome back and thanks for the well-wish now.
I agree that this is a bit long for a short script, but I think once on film, it'll work out good. I think the length'll add to the atmosphere of the film, as it'll be a little bit of a slow build. (And the script is in production now. I'm going to post a statement and link for it a little bit later.)
I appreciate the read, Steve. Have you submitted anything new recently that slipped by me?
I'm excited to announce that 'The Ephesian' is in the early stages of production with Rags 2 Riches Films, the film company behind the sleeper festival hit 'Greencastle', written and directed by Koran Dunbar.
I've seen the whole film and it's a great example of what excellent quality of film you can get when you make a film with your heart rather than money. 'Greencastle's budget was $25,000, and it rivals the quality of million dollar budget films.
I'm very excited to see what they bring to the table with 'The Ephesian'.
Very deep piece you've written here and if I'm being honest I'm not sure on where I stand with it.
The writing, format, story itself was great and gives you a lot to think about.
Having never lived anywhere with a death penalty I've never had to think of it as something that effects me or the part of society I live in. So I'm not sure where I stand on the issue. I will say making both parties wait 19 years for a resolution is ridiculous, but having watched the odd episode of Boston legal I do understand there are a million processes to go through.
Back to your piece, I do think it was heavy on dialouge but I think with the rest of how the story was told it did suit it. I really couldn't identify with any of the characters but given their situations I guess that's a good thing.
I'm very sorry I missed your post on this. I've been away from most things internet for the past month or two.
Don't worry not being sure where you stand on the issue. I live in a place that has the death penalty and I'm still not sure where I stand on the issue. I probably lean more towards anti-death penalty, but I can see where both sides are coming from and don't think either side is really wrong. It might be hard for some to understand my point of view, especially if someone is die hard one way or the other, but I think this is an issue that will be 50-50 forever and there is no wrong or right answer.
Thanks again for the the read, and I'm glad it got you thinking. And again, I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you.
For those living in the Virginias, Maryland, Pennsylvania areas, 'The Ephesian' will be having their casting call on July 27th in Hagerstown, Maryland.
The summary, casting call, character needs, and other information is on the Facebook page.
Note to Don should you be reading this:
After seeing your work in James' 'So Dark', I gotta admit, I could see you playing the part of a Priest perfectly. Although with the credits of playing a 'Pedophile #4' and then a 'Priest', I wouldn't want to see you get pigeon-holed as an actor.
Thanks, Libby! I'm looking forward to the final product, too!
Although I must admit, the production company is great and I'm enjoying the process so much, I don't want it to go by too fast. You know, gotta soak it up some. I've learned a lot from them about the film business already.
Sorry it took so long for me to finally read this.
I'll start by saying that I enjoy how subjective this piece feels through objective writing, which translates to vision, and it standouts here along with your other works.
The act of an execution always brings raw emotion to the surface, but I am intrigued that you brought into light the details behind the process. A disturbing formal walkthrough by the warden along with a formal request to have the victim removed from the records stirred up conflict within the governor.
Michael ended up becoming an ally to Antwan, but even after the letters and seed of redemption, I still thought more conflict would be appropriate in their discussion.
Antwan's last words were great, but felt forced. Can you explain this to me? I feel like I missed something critical. Also, I enjoyed the protestors conflicting with in themselves, as I really think that this is what you were going for theme-wise.
I can't wait to see how this one plays out in film, it should receive quite a bit of attention, and deserves it.