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- I liked that terse description to convey that they’re related.
“Book, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton Result: Matched”
- Is this to be taken with a nudge and a wink since these two had more than one run at it? “flicks the laptop screen to it's screensaver.”
- How do you do that? T’would be a useful trick to learn. Many a time I could’ve done with knowing it
Some interesting stuff here, I liked the idea of the equation judging the compatibility of people through (presumably) cold, hard, scientific means. That desire for foreknowledge of whether a nascent relationship will work or not has cropped up time and again in literature and films. Particularly in the dystopian genre where a society will practice eugenics or utilize genetic engineering to pair off like with like for the ostensible goal of harmony and synchronicity...but we all know it’s for reasons more sinister and oppressive than that.
That’s why I was shaking my head and clicking my tongue at Brendan’s intensive efforts to develop such a horrible thing with the blinkered Anna cheering him on. Do these people know what they’re doing to our freedom of choice!
However, the essence of the piece, as in the parting message, is an encouraging one, and I essentially like where you took it. Even though Brendan’s formula has told him he and Anna are not a match he’s willing to give it a shot and see what happens, something very human about that which machines will never grasp. Reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind which can only be a good thing. Was it an influence?
Unfortunately, and you can probably guess what I’m going to harp on about now...for a concept so rich and expansive, an 8 page script (7 and a bit really) is never going to cut it, never going to do it justice. I still think it partially works for what it is but there is something unsatisfactory about it. From the lack of clarity regarding the equation and where it’s getting these “matched/unmatched” results from to the context of Brendan’s profession and his relationship to Anna.
On the other hand, I get this is all about posing that central question, it’s just the story feels primed for development, something to really delve into and explore because all be get here is a glimpse. Maybe you have ideas to take it further, it’s definitely something worth pondering.
However, you could easily get bogged down in the science of it in having to validate this mysterious L-equation which I’d totally understand if you wanted to leave it completely unknown. I mean, where does one begin to explain that!
Just one thing, when Anna is talking to her Mum, is she just telling her daughter to tell Brendan she likes him or are they referring to something else?
I think you are right, at least in part, re length but I was avoiding any heavy science as one of the key theme's (for me anyway) is that maybe, sometimes. there's more to life than science, as Brendan discovers.
Explaining the L Equation, was always intending to leave this vague, not sure how I'd explain it.
But there's more work for a re-write anyway so may try and expand some in future drafts.
Eternal Sunshine influence - a little though not consciously
Anna and Mum, yes wanted her to express her feelings and break the action from the Lab, but I know that it isn't strictly speaking a necessary scene.
This is a cute short, I liked it. loved the line "surrounded by the air of geekdom" I can picture Brendon very clearly. haha. It doesn't need to be explained, I enjoyed it, nice fun short. I would like to see more banter between them though
Plenty of great actors out there that don't score high in the looks department. Neither weight nor looks should be a barrier to anyone acting... nor should it be a consideration for producers.
Unfortunately, the prettiest, less able actors usually get through because the producer either wants to bed them or already has.
If you want people to be staring at a bit of tit on screen rather than concentrating on your story... go for the prettiest actors. If you want people to concentrate on the story, cast real people.
Interestingly, as a side note, not to create any drama in this instance, I remember reading about how human beings are 'hard wired' to initially be sight prejudice when they first encounter someone - -
Mostly this is a mechanism of defense, so a person can know if another poses a danger to someone or not.
When I started bing watching Burn Notice, I told my Dad about how I enjoyed the show. He said no way he could stand watching the overbite on the lead character (forgot his name) so, I guess it doesn't matter about stories or acting to some.
Same to be said of lust or love. Film median is visual, so the visual attractions to the actors are powerful. Beauty with acting abilities rare, yet most preferred.
Anthony - I thought this was well written. A couple of thoughts:
I would have found this far more interesting if the characters were flipped. i.e., Anna was the smart mathematician and Brendan was the love stuck friend.
Not sure this one worked:
Quoted Text
Result: Matched - Book, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton
Their relationship was far from ideal. If you wanted to include them then it should serve as a more WTF moment for Brendan. That is how is it that a couple that couldn't stay together is on the match list?
Tony, Yep and guess that's why it's love at first sight
Eldave - Yep, I mentioned in an earlier response that I was going to swap the genders round, just need to crack on and revise it! Taylor and Burton, they had a fiery relationship but their passion for each other was legendary... The equation doesn't just predict soft focus romantic love, which is why I used them.
A French graphic design student is going to use the L Equation as the central theme/idea for their Masters final exhibition... no, I'm not entirely sure how that will work but I'm intriqued to see how it comes out
Well written but I have to say a little predictable. It's a very simple story of human emotion against science and facts etc, but I feel as if something more was needed.
A few suggestions have been made but they would be all to cliche in a story like this.
I'm not really sure what to make of it to be honest and I'm all out of ideas without changing the simplicity and story all together.
Besides that, it kept me reading but I just felt I needed that wow factor at the end.
HUGE congratulations Mr Cawood - (This congratulations extends to all 8 options)
On a side note, 8 options seems like a lot for one producer in one go, is this normal in the business? - Are you expecting them to make all 8? - I know almost nothing about this business so I am just curious.
Nope, this is very unusual in my experience... he's paid for the options though and intends to seek financing to make a web series from the 8 shorts as they have thematic links.
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