Christmas in Leningrad by Dustin Bowcott - Short, Drama - A man, starving during the siege of Leningrad, goes to extreme measures to put food on the table. - pdf, format

Dustin,

This was unexpected and a gem. I liked the way you portrayed the situation and the environment. The element that really struck me about this one was not just the cannibalism you describe through action and dialogue, but the desperation conveyed and the harshness of Soviet rule where order and obedience were the primary concerns for authorities. So, in this situation, starvation was the catayst and the authorities' restrictions were obstacles to survival. The NKVD supposedly even used the threat of throwing people into pits full of hungry cannibals as a way to get information. Nicely played. Oh, and from a technical perspective, I didn't see anything in terms of grammar, punctuation, etc. of note. It was well-written and organized.

I can't help but think that this was the end of what could be a longer, maybe even a feature-length film. The siege lasted over two years, so the January 1941 date was only the beginning. Just something to think about.

Ian

Cheers mate. This is a feature idea that I've been wanting to write for a while. It was almost 900 days, but the winter of 40/41 was particularly harsh. The true horrors are hard to dig up... perhaps not even a writer's imagination could guess some of the things that actually went on.

Nicely done.

Quoted Text DMITRY (nods) I think so, mama.

Should it be Mama? (i.e., capital M)

This is a real nit - but I think the police at the graveyard should be Soldiers (i.e., it is WW II and Russia is under siege).

There is definitely a feature here.  It is an atrocity that has not really been examined in film.

Here is an interesting link to a post from an eye witness to the travesty:

http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/leningrad.htm

Good luck with this.

Dustin,

I have been thinking from a historical perspective. There are a number factors from that period that can add to the overall story. For the Soviets, Leningrad was very important. It was the old capital of St. Petersburg under the Czars and the birthplace of the revolution, so it was of immense psychological importance to them. Also, the winter palace was the home of the amber room, which was an entire room decorated in amber panels and gold leaf. The room was considered the 8th wonder of the world. Here is a wiki description of it - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amber_Room

Now as far as the siege goes, over 900 days... that is long time for you to take this story. You really chose an interesting era and situation for a setting. I hope you develop it further as I would be interested in seeing where you take it.

Ian

Holy shit, that was bleak. I could totally see this in the eyes of my mind. Well-done.

I will say that, if this was a feature, I probably wouldn't be able to finish it. Not because of lack of quality or substance, but because it would ruin me.

Dustin,

Well written, good exchange of dialog stopping short of directly telling. Russian wartime  atrocities are right on par with German ones, but then again,  when does a war not contain any?

Gl

Tony.

Quoted from Iancou ... so the January 1941 date was only the beginning. Just something to think about.

I've just realised... I should have changed the date to 1942. I thought Russia celebrated Christmas the same day as us, but after checking that fact, I discovered that they actually celebrate it on January 7th. So, this story was originally set in December of '41. I'll change that right away.

Quoted from eldave1 Nicely done. Should it be Mama? (i.e., capital M) This is a real nit - but I think the police at the graveyard should be Soldiers (i.e., it is WW II and Russia is under siege). There is definitely a feature here.  It is an atrocity that has not really been examined in film. Here is an interesting link to a post from an eye witness to the travesty: http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/leningrad.htm Good luck with this.

Thanks mate, you're right on both counts... the police will not be seen, just boots and grey coats, but yeah, soldiers may be a better word to use for the sake of imagery. Thanks for the link. I have already been there.

Quoted from Iancou Dustin, I have been thinking from a historical perspective. There are a number factors from that period that can add to the overall story. For the Soviets, Leningrad was very important. It was the old capital of St. Petersburg under the Czars and the birthplace of the revolution, so it was of immense psychological importance to them. Also, the winter palace was the home of the amber room, which was an entire room decorated in amber panels and gold leaf. The room was considered the 8th wonder of the world. Here is a wiki description of it - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amber_Room Now as far as the siege goes, over 900 days... that is long time for you to take this story. You really chose an interesting era and situation for a setting. I hope you develop it further as I would be interested in seeing where you take it. Ian

Thanks mate. It's an idea that's been sitting on my board for quite some time now. It's a big board, surrounded by other 'great' ideas I want to work on. It's always nice to be able to take one of those cards down. I'm due to start work on another feature and this one is jumping out at me now. So, I better get stuck back into my research... find some inspiration for my protag(s).

Quoted from Josh Holy shit, that was bleak. I could totally see this in the eyes of my mind. Well-done. I will say that, if this was a feature, I probably wouldn't be able to finish it. Not because of lack of quality or substance, but because it would ruin me.

Cheers mate. The truth is often far more frightening than fiction. I would love to find some way to turn this into an actual biopic, but I'll settle for completely fictional characters if I must.

Quoted from TonyDionisio Dustin, Well written, good exchange of dialog stopping short of directly telling. Russian wartime  atrocities are right on par with German ones, but then again,  when does a war not contain any? Gl Tony.

And our own rarely spoken about. War is an atrocity. Thanks for the read and reply mate, much appreciated.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Attack-Leningrad-DVD-Mira-Sorvino/dp/B002Z9HBLU

Well, it appears there was a feature out in 2007. I've just watched it and it is quite a decent story.

I think where the film fails is that it isn't sensational enough and I also think that that may be down to Russian investment in the film. Even today they (Russia) would rather people believe that they were steadfast and resolute without the need for impropriety. The film adequately shows much of what happened... the air raids, the hunger... but it avoids getting into the nitty-gritty.

Worth the watch, but I didn't really learn much aside from being given a thin slice of history.

Dustin,

The writing was crisp and visual. It had a certain tone to it, I can't quite describe it, but I like the way you wrote this. Definitely gives one pause regarding the subject matter, and especially the closing visual. Sounds like the reaction of Ekaterina and Dmitri would've been the same had they just found out their mortgage had been paid off for them, which I think is kind of the point here. There really is no difference and that's what makes it as strong as it is. Good job.

Steve

Man, that was tough.  It's odd, but, I was just reading about this.  They say that quite a few had to resort to cannibalism during that year.  It was horrific.  They say there is no greater horror then real horror like this and WW2, and they are right.

I do think this would make a good movie, but, it wouldn't be a big hit b/c it's so bleak.  You're best bet would be to do it as a documentary on this time period in Russia.  I wouldn't be able to watch it b/c it would kill me that people had to make this choice to live.

It was a fast easy read.  Good job.    

Hey Dustin.

Read your short.

I liked it but I think you need to go slow on the last bit - when she's going to cut. Make her cry first, stare at his body, get angry or something. This is an important moment - I think you should take a moment there.

The first part - the first 3 pages - you could cut some. Or add some texture to their dialog, otherwise some of it sounds repetitive. If you need me to tell you what lines exactly I'm talking about let know.

And the last thing - they didn't celebrate Christmas in Leningrad. In Sankt Peterburgh now - yes. Before it was just New Years.

That's for sure. We used to put up the tree only on 30th of December. And it used to be called New Year's Tree.

Good luck to yuo with it - I really liked it. You found a new angle here.

Quoted from khamanna Hey Dustin. Read your short. I liked it but I think you need to go slow on the last bit - when she's going to cut. Make her cry first, stare at his body, get angry or something. This is an important moment - I think you should take a moment there.

I have to disagree. There is a deliberate lack of emotion. These people have already starved, seen lots of death. I've also witnessed how numbed people can be under extreme circumstances. It's like a state of shock that will only subside once the cause has rescinded. Even then, depending upon the horrors witnessed, it could take years.

Quoted Text The first part - the first 3 pages - you could cut some. Or add some texture to their dialog, otherwise some of it sounds repetitive. If you need me to tell you what lines exactly I'm talking about let know.

I'm not sure what you mean by texture to the dialogue. I understand repetitive, however... and, I'll look into that.

Quoted Text And the last thing - they didn't celebrate Christmas in Leningrad. In Sankt Peterburgh now - yes. Before it was just New Years. That's for sure. We used to put up the tree only on 30th of December. And it used to be called New Year's Tree. Good luck to yuo with it - I really liked it. You found a new angle here.

Ah... OK. It was only a last minute thing that made me check how Russians celebrated Christmas and I got the date Jan 7th... but I see that in Soviet Russia, Christmas was not celebrated by many. I will have to rethink the title and the dialogue where Ekaterina mentions Christmas. Cheers.

Quoted from DustinBowcot I have to disagree. There is a deliberate lack of emotion. These people have already starved, seen lots of death.

My point is not this - I wanted to say that you could have a second twist there. She takes the knife and starts cutting in cold blood - if it happens too fast it looses the impact. It's appaling and thus good - I am thinking it would be more if you take a moment there.

Quoted from khamanna My point is not this - I wanted to say that you could have a second twist there. She takes the knife and starts cutting in cold blood - if it happens too fast it looses the impact. It's appaling and thus good - I am thinking it would be more if you take a moment there.

Ah, OK. I see your point. I'll mull it over. Cheers.

Dustin,

Truth is stronger than fiction some times, and that definitely applies to this story.  Food was in short supply throughout most of Europe throughout the war and I guess if you were stuck in a city under siege with no food you would eat anything to stay alive.

It's the truth of this that makes your story so bleak.  I did feel that if the reader had no background knowledge of the era, they might not understand how dangerous it was to live in the city (danger from both Russian and German soldiers).

Overall though this was a nice little piece and I enjoyed it.

The siege also solved the city's rat problem for awhile. Everything that could be eaten was, so references (through dialogue and/or a visual) to this could be part of building the background for members of the audience who don't know their history. For example, a character holds up a box of rat poison and says, "Since they've all been eaten, nobody's needed this stuff for a long time." I don't know if they even had rat poison in the USSR at that time, but I use that as a silly example. Another issue could be that residents there were not necessarily die-hard Marxists in support of the regime. Pyotr (perhaps named in honor of Czar Peter the Great for whom the city had been previously called) is in his 40s, so he was a young adult when the revolution happened and remembered life under the Czar. His character could even be a closet monarchist or Menshevik. They were both still around and hunted until the war when they were released from the gulags to fight for Mother Russia, and not the revolution.

Just some random thoughts on a lazy day.

Quoted from alffy Dustin, Truth is stronger than fiction some times, and that definitely applies to this story.  Food was in short supply throughout most of Europe throughout the war and I guess if you were stuck in a city under siege with no food you would eat anything to stay alive. It's the truth of this that makes your story so bleak.  I did feel that if the reader had no background knowledge of the era, they might not understand how dangerous it was to live in the city (danger from both Russian and German soldiers). Overall though this was a nice little piece and I enjoyed it.

Thanks mate. I understand your point on people (without prior knowledge of this event) not getting what this story is about, but without sign posting it it's hard to do. There is a super with the year and the place, so hopefully anyone not so knowledgeable would use the information to do some checking. First thing my gf did after reading this was Google and she turned to me after reading for a while and said "Why didn't they teach us stuff like this at school?"

Personally, I don't believe the education system is responsible for teaching us things we can easily learn ourselves... but I understand what she means. Unfortunately, we are part of a propaganda machine. Just like we accuse every other country of and maybe even laugh at them for being brainwashed, we can rest assured that they think the same about us.

Anyway, thanks for the read. Not sure you've posted anything for a while, but if you have and I've missed it, please point me in the right direction.

Quoted from Iancou The siege also solved the city's rat problem for awhile. Everything that could be eaten was, so references (through dialogue and/or a visual) to this could be part of building the background for members of the audience who don't know their history. For example, a character holds up a box of rat poison and says, "Since they've all been eaten, nobody's needed this stuff for a long time." I don't know if they even had rat poison in the USSR at that time, but I use that as a silly example. Another issue could be that residents there were not necessarily die-hard Marxists in support of the regime. Pyotr (perhaps named in honor of Czar Peter the Great for whom the city had been previously called) is in his 40s, so he was a young adult when the revolution happened and remembered life under the Czar. His character could even be a closet monarchist or Menshevik. They were both still around and hunted until the war when they were released from the gulags to fight for Mother Russia, and not the revolution. Just some random thoughts on a lazy day.

Thanks mate. I do open showing a photo with the family and their dog, but there is no dog throughout the story. I suppose it could have died of natural causes, but it was meant to show that they had to eat their pet, or swapped it and ate a neighbour's pet, as was the normal thing to do.

There's certainly a lot to include in regard to the horrors that went on in the city, but I think the bigger story, as you've pointed out, is the political one. Why was food veered away from the city before the German and Finnish army surrounded them? I know the official story... but, like all official stories, it's not necessarily the truth.

Hi Dustin,

Interesting title and logline, makes me want to actually check the script out!

I love the name Dmitry, no idea why.

Oh man that's grim but a good read. I imagine under those circumstances people would resort to such desperate measures.

I sometimes forget my body is basically a meat sack, thanks for reminding me lol.  

One question, is Dmitry better because he ate some of his Papa or did he just get better on his own?

Good job on this,

-Mark

Quoted from MarkRenshaw Hi Dustin, Interesting title and logline, makes me want to actually check the script out! I love the name Dmitry, no idea why. Oh man that's grim but a good read. I imagine under those circumstances people would resort to such desperate measures. I sometimes forget my body is basically a meat sack, thanks for reminding me lol.   One question, is Dmitry better because he ate some of his Papa or did he just get better on his own? Good job on this, -Mark

I like the name Dmitry too, I've used it a few times in my stories. Dmitry doesn't eat any of his father, he gets better on his own. Pyotr hangs himself the night before and ironically, the boy is better anyway. Just a d ash of irony, but even a small amount is something. Thanks for the read.

Dustin,

Gave this one a read. Haven't read any other thoughts so excuse me if I repeat.

I enjoyed this. As always your writing is on point. In 5 pages you manage to set the scene and the tone perfectly. I've always felt that a tough thing to do in such a small page count. Nicely done.

The story itself is as bleak as they come. But in a weird way I also found it sort of warming that the father did what he did at the end. Maybe it's just me being messed up.

I get the feeling this could be a feature. Dealing with the same subject, I feel this could be beefed out and added to and make quite an interesting movie.

Overall, nice one here. Congrats. Good luck with it..

Quoted from IamGlenn Dustin, Gave this one a read. Haven't read any other thoughts so excuse me if I repeat. I enjoyed this. As always your writing is on point. In 5 pages you manage to set the scene and the tone perfectly. I've always felt that a tough thing to do in such a small page count. Nicely done. The story itself is as bleak as they come. But in a weird way I also found it sort of warming that the father did what he did at the end. Maybe it's just me being messed up. I get the feeling this could be a feature. Dealing with the same subject, I feel this could be beefed out and added to and make quite an interesting movie. Overall, nice one here. Congrats. Good luck with it..

Thanks mate. I tried to say a lot in a very small space. That Pyotr commits suicide to feed his family is symbolic of the fact (albeit almost cryptically) that it was mostly men that starved to death in the city, they obviously went without to feed their families first. Women and children first is true in this regard too. It was also mostly the women that turned to cannibalism, actually killing younger infants to feed older children.

We're extremely lucky that we have never had to face anything like that and it's impossible to judge their actions otherwise. What it shows is that we will do anything to survive but there are also those willing to lay their lives down to protect their family. Even in those circumstances there are levels of decency.

Thanks for the read and reply mate, much appreciated.

Dustin

Good job with this, it feels like a primer for something bigger although it functions as a self contained story by itself too. The fortunes of Ekaterina and Dmitry are left up in the air, which is fine by me. Yes, they have food now but what is to become of them in the long term? This could serve well as the opening sequence of a longer piece where we follow mother and daughter in their quest to survive in the harshest of conditions.

This is an especially bleak time in an already dark period of modern history. I know a bit about so I was intrigued by the title alone and recognized the stakes from the outset. Unfortunately, a lot of people probably won’t grasp the greater situation which I understand you can’t really get into too much in a 5 page short. This is all just observations on my part by the way, not criticisms. You obviously made a conscious decision to keep it confined and personal which I think works for the brevity of the story.

I thought Pyotr was not going to come back in those last scenes and we would be left to assume he had been caught thus leaving Eskaterina and Dmitri to perish but when the ending was revealed I kicked myself for not anticipating it. In other words, it worked in catching me by surprise, Pyotr made the biggest sacrifice imaginable which ties in with a time where these sort of life and death decisions were being made on a daily basis.

At first, I was a little jarred by Ekaterina’s lack of emotion when seeing her husband hanging there dead. She just balls the note, grabs the knife and gets to work but thinking on it now it again fits into the hardened, dehumanized mindset prevalent in those times. No room for sentimentally, we need to eat!
  
On a side note, if you’re interested in this particular part of history you should check out “Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History” podcast. One of his multi part series from a few years ago is called “Ghosts of the Ostfront” which focuses the conflicts between Germany and the Soviet Union with emphasis on the siege of Leningrad and the atrocities that went on there…cannibalism was only part of it...

My layman’s takeaway from it all was “Russians are tough basta?ds!”…but seriously, its truly shocking stuff that still lingers with me to this day.

Col.

Quoted from Colkurtz8 Dustin Good job with this, it feels like a primer for something bigger although it functions as a self contained story by itself too. The fortunes of Ekaterina and Dmitry are left up in the air, which is fine by me. Yes, they have food now but what is to become of them in the long term? This could serve well as the opening sequence of a longer piece where we follow mother and daughter in their quest to survive in the harshest of conditions.

Yeah I agree, be hard to sympathise with Ekaterina after the coldness with her husband but I believe that sometimes, the story is bigger than any need to get behind a character. Quite a lot of my writing is like that and I always write best when I'm portraying bleak and harsh backdrops. I suppose it's merely testament to the types of people watching I've done over the years.

Quoted Text This is an especially bleak time in an already dark period of modern history. I know a bit about so I was intrigued by the title alone and recognized the stakes from the outset. Unfortunately, a lot of people probably won’t grasp the greater situation which I understand you can’t really get into too much in a 5 page short. This is all just observations on my part by the way, not criticisms. You obviously made a conscious decision to keep it confined and personal which I think works for the brevity of the story.

I agree. However, there is enough information in there. I think you just have to be smart. Personally, whenever I come across something I don't understand or desire more knowledge of, I study. My gf did the same thing and she was shocked at what she read... and my short made a whole lot more sense. She watched the (Russian-biased) feature with me afterwards too.

Quoted Text I thought Pyotr was not going to come back in those last scenes and we would be left to assume he had been caught thus leaving Eskaterina and Dmitri to perish but when the ending was revealed I kicked myself for not anticipating it. In other words, it worked in catching me by surprise, Pyotr made the biggest sacrifice imaginable which ties in with a time where these sort of life and death decisions were being made on a daily basis.

Yeah, although mostly symbolic, it's likely that this type of thing would have occurred. I did look around the web before writing, hoping that I would find a story it would relate to, but it seems that the Russians stifled much of the information so this has to be called entirely fiction.

Quoted Text At first, I was a little jarred by Ekaterina’s lack of emotion when seeing her husband hanging there dead. She just balls the note, grabs the knife and gets to work but thinking on it now it again fits into the hardened, dehumanized mindset prevalent in those times. No room for sentimentally, we need to eat!

Yeah. I think with great suffering comes less sympathy for suffering... because it's just normal. If a mother could smother an eighteen month old baby (as in one account I read of) to feed herself and older children, simply because she didn't have a man around (perhaps they'd eaten him first!) to put extra bread rations on the table, then a fully grown man perhaps wouldn't cause much fuss either. Sentiment is a luxury.
  

Quoted Text On a side note, if you’re interested in this particular part of history you should check out “Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History” podcast. One of his multi part series from a few years ago is called “Ghosts of the Ostfront” which focuses the conflicts between Germany and the Soviet Union with emphasis on the siege of Leningrad and the atrocities that went on there…cannibalism was only part of it... My layman’s takeaway from it all was “Russians are tough basta?ds!”…but seriously, its truly shocking stuff that still lingers with me to this day. Col.

Yes I am. I found those and will have a listen when the time comes to write this feature. I see it more of an indie project and I'm writing two Hollywoodesque scripts back to back at the moment. Thanks for the read and the insights, mate.

Hi Dustin,

Very disturbing this one, but you achieved what you were trying to do. Which, I guess, was to show what people can become under certain circumstances.

One thing I'm not sure about is whether Dmitry hanged himself only to give his family a chance to survive or he also felt guilty for not being a good enough provider (Ekaterina does seem to blame him for that). In the second case, perhaps you could change a little the incident in the cemetery into something that he'd feel it was his own fault. What if he dropped the boy's corpse accidentally, for instance?

Also, I wonder if an ending where Ekaterina would commit suicide instead of Dmitry (for the same reason) would have an even more intense dramatic effect. But that would be a different story, of course.

A powerful script, which definitely leaves a lasting impression.

Manolis

Quoted from Athenian Hi Dustin, Very disturbing this one, but you achieved what you were trying to do. Which, I guess, was to show what people can become under certain circumstances. One thing I'm not sure about is whether Dmitry hanged himself only to give his family a chance to survive or he also felt guilty for not being a good enough provider (Ekaterina does seem to blame him for that). In the second case, perhaps you could change a little the incident in the cemetery into something that he'd feel it was his own fault. What if he dropped the boy's corpse accidentally, for instance?

He hangs himself for both reasons. The reason I didn't write Pyotr picking up the corpse was because I imagined that it would be difficult to film. I didn't want to risk an injury to the actor. I do like the idea of making it his fault in the cemetery. Extra irony is always a good thing.

Quoted Text Also, I wonder if an ending where Ekaterina would commit suicide instead of Dmitry (for the same reason) would have an even more intense dramatic effect. But that would be a different story, of course.

Yeah, plus it wouldn't tie in as nicely with the statistics. It has to be the Man that commits suicide. Not to suggest that there weren't women ready to lay down their lives too. But it was a different mindset back then, I'm sure today the stats would be equal (ahem... think I dug myself out of that one).

Thanks for the review and the helpful hint, much appreciated.

Dustin,

I like the structure of this very short script; it has all three acts in such a limited space.

Given the bleak ending, I thought it might be a good idea to have one or two scenes earlier to show the special bond and caring between the father and the son (in spite of their desperate living condition). It would give the father's sacrifice in the end a stronger touch.

Hey Dustin,

I quite liked this. Reminds me of another cannibal-themed short I read a few years ago called A Taste For Blood, which I loved. The difference here is yours goes for a little more subtlety, which isn't a bad thing at all.

I think the ending is definitely bleak in the best way, but I agree with the user who pointed out Ekaterina needs some type of reaction when she prepares to carve. Yes, realistically, there might not be an immediate reaction from her in this situation after all she's been through. But we as an audience haven't been in this environment but for less than five minutes -- we're going to react, and in a way, she needs to as well. Even if she's not reacting, you need to emphasize that to your viewers -- this bitch is about to eat a loved one and she is not reacting.

Otherwise, this is very solid. Hope it gets picked up.

Chris

Quoted from DWLiu Dustin, I like the structure of this very short script; it has all three acts in such a limited space. Given the bleak ending, I thought it might be a good idea to have one or two scenes earlier to show the special bond and caring between the father and the son (in spite of their desperate living condition). It would give the father's sacrifice in the end a stronger touch.

That's a good idea. I think I could open with a shot of Pyotr attempting to feed and care for his sick son, then Ekaterina walk in and shoo him away, mention something about the putrid meat. Make him feel even more worthless. Maybe she's carrying a bowl of steaming hot water which would make an excellent contrast with the cold background. Cold, useless father. Warm, sensible mother.

Thanks very much, that's a nice idea.

Quoted from Sham Hey Dustin, I quite liked this. Reminds me of another cannibal-themed short I read a few years ago called A Taste For Blood, which I loved. The difference here is yours goes for a little more subtlety, which isn't a bad thing at all. I think the ending is definitely bleak in the best way, but I agree with the user who pointed out Ekaterina needs some type of reaction when she prepares to carve. Yes, realistically, there might not be an immediate reaction from her in this situation after all she's been through. But we as an audience haven't been in this environment but for less than five minutes -- we're going to react, and in a way, she needs to as well. Even if she's not reacting, you need to emphasize that to your viewers -- this bitch is about to eat a loved one and she is not reacting. Otherwise, this is very solid. Hope it gets picked up. Chris

Yeah looks like a good script. It's downloaded straight to my computer though and not gone to a comment thread.

OK. After some thought, I like your suggestion, and a way I could work around that is by using the kid. Maybe Dmitry appears in the kitchen doorway, not far enough to see Pyotr hanging. She tells him to go back in the living room, that she's preparing breakfast. He asks after his father's whereabouts and she, after looking toward her husband, replies with something cold. I've got several lines of dialogue playing through my mind, not necessarily cold, more matter-of-fact... it's going to take some thinking about, but thanks for planting the seed. Thanks also for the read.

Dustin,

Good to hear that you liked the idea.

Instead of the father feeding his son in the opening scene, how about they are doing something non-food related, like chatting about a sport (soccer?), or talking about a movie (or a book).  It shows what a "normal" life they've lived, in comparison to the cruel life they're living.

Quoted from DWLiu Dustin, Good to hear that you liked the idea. Instead of the father feeding his son in the opening scene, how about they are doing something non-food related, like chatting about a sport (soccer?), or talking about a movie (or a book).  It shows what a "normal" life they've lived, in comparison to the cruel life they're living.

I tried to show what a normal life they'd had by the happy photograph. I actually see this film in black and white, with flashes of colour for emphasis. The photograph I would show in colour. I'd have to talk with my good friend and DoP though as he's my go to guy at the moment for filming knowledge. Black and white with flashes of colour would need to be done right to avoid groans about cliche. But, that's the way I see it... and without influence from anyone else, that is how I would film it.

In regard to the conversation... as much as I like the idea, it doesn't fit with the child's feverish state. However, it could always be a one way conversation while the father tries to soothe him. I do agree, bringing food into it doesn't quite fit either. But the one way conversation sounds like the way to go here. Thanks again.

Hey Dustin

Great short, loved it, some of the descriptions are top notch - dirty, meaty fingers - can see it in my minds eye.

Couple of suggestions/comments
1) If the poverty/hunger was so extreme would they have a picture/lithograph calendar?
2) Might be me, probably is, but I was rooting for Pyotr to kill Dimitry, I think filicide could be more tragic.

Tonally reminded me a little of City of Life and Death - great movie.

So overall - cracking!

Anthony

Well established from the first line. The bleak and emotionless feeling really worked here, especially in the dialogue. The exchanges said a lot with few lines imo. I guess it's open to interpretation whether Pyotr did it mainly as a noble deed out of love for his family or whether he was just tired of it all. The way I saw it, it was both with main emphasis on the latter.

I'm not sure how much Ekaterina waking up and looking around in panic fits in here, especially considering the lack of reaction once she finds him. It also makes it too obvious that something big's coming imo.

Dmitry's miraculous recovery, too. Is it supposed to show that the big sacrifice could have possibly been in vain? Not sure. Maybe it would work better if switched around? She wakes up, heads to the kitchen, sees the body, carves in. Then she goes to Dmitry who's suffering in his bed, offers him a plate and says that god has blessed them on Christmas day -- and fade out on that?

Just a few thoughts. This was a good read. Gl.

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Hey Dustin Great short, loved it, some of the descriptions are top notch - dirty, meaty fingers - can see it in my minds eye. Couple of suggestions/comments 1) If the poverty/hunger was so extreme would they have a picture/lithograph calendar? 2) Might be me, probably is, but I was rooting for Pyotr to kill Dimitry, I think filicide could be more tragic. Tonally reminded me a little of City of Life and Death - great movie. So overall - cracking! Anthony

Yes, I'm assuming people did have photographs. Although I will double check that. They don't hold value and are inedible, I think.

The calendar is a bit of a push... I suppose it could be state-supplied... I don't think it matters too much. So long as it's done right.

While I agree with your latter point, it would detract from the story I want to tell. The story of that period, according to the stats, were that women made most of the tough survival decisions (the cannibalism and killing for meat). It was also mostly men that died of starvation. That tells me that the men would do their duty and provide for their families, often going without themselves so that their children could eat. Women tend to be lighter anyway and don't require as much food. So, if men and women ate equally, then as a matter of course, more men would starve to death. In essence, this is men laying down their lives for their families and that is what Pyotr's death shows. The choices made in this story have been made with consideration.

Thanks for the read, mate.

Quoted from DS Well established from the first line. The bleak and emotionless feeling really worked here, especially in the dialogue. The exchanges said a lot with few lines imo. I guess it's open to interpretation whether Pyotr did it mainly as a noble deed out of love for his family or whether he was just tired of it all. The way I saw it, it was both with main emphasis on the latter.

It is a little of both. In extreme circumstances it is often simpler just to give up. Far harder to tough it out and survive. He mainly did it though because he felt useless, like a burden... coupled with the need for extreme survival, it was better that he just give up.

Also, in one of the lines of dialogue you'll note that Ekaterina mentions the ice road opening up. The ice road was once a lake that was used to transport food and goods. As it started to freeze over it became useless and deadly to traverse... but as the ice got harder and harder it turned into a road and food got in again. All they had to do was survive a few months and things would get a lot better. Pyotr's sacrifice meant his wife and son had a really good chance of survival. I know it's simply one line of dialogue, but at least the information is in there.

Quoted Text I'm not sure how much Ekaterina waking up and looking around in panic fits in here, especially considering the lack of reaction once she finds him. It also makes it too obvious that something big's coming imo.

She looks around for her son. She went to sleep next to him, wakes up and he's gone. She then finds him, standing by the window.

Quoted Text Dmitry's miraculous recovery, too. Is it supposed to show that the big sacrifice could have possibly been in vain? Not sure. Maybe it would work better if switched around? She wakes up, heads to the kitchen, sees the body, carves in. Then she goes to Dmitry who's suffering in his bed, offers him a plate and says that god has blessed them on Christmas day -- and fade out on that? Just a few thoughts. This was a good read. Gl.

I quite like that. I'll think about it. Cheers.

This script has been shortlisted for the Northern Film School slate of films next term. Students representing the university have won many awards at film festivals and have involvement with feature production.

24 short scripts have been shortlisted but unfortunately only 14 of those will go through (to be selected by the students themselves). I am quietly confident of selection as only one script can receive the special merit award, to which this script has already won. It also means I've won a short film course worth a few hundred pounds. Not a short film course as in short film, but more of a short course regarding a certain aspect of film production. They're like three-four day courses. Which could be fun. I'll get to meet some new people.

Anyway fingers crossed it makes final selection too, I'm already happy with the special merit award, but production is what it's all about. Hopefully I can work with them on some more shorts during the term too.

Quoted from DustinBowcot This script has been shortlisted for the Northern Film School slate of films next term. Students representing the university have won many awards at film festivals and have involvement with feature production. 24 short scripts have been shortlisted but unfortunately only 14 of those will go through (to be selected by the students themselves). I am quietly confident of selection as only one script can receive the special merit award, to which this script has already won. It also means I've won a short film course worth a few hundred pounds. Not a short film course as in short film, but more of a short course regarding a certain aspect of film production. They're like three-four day courses. Which could be fun. I'll get to meet some new people. Anyway fingers crossed it makes final selection too, I'm already happy with the special merit award, but production is what it's all about. Hopefully I can work with them on some more shorts during the term too.

Very nice! Best of luck

Congrats, man.

Hopefully it gets produced as I enjoyed this one.

Good luck.

Well done. Best of luck.

Just read it.  Just another fluffy rom com!

I was waiting a finger to come off, so go that wrong.

But, did I read it right that the kid recovered anyway? What a dark touch

Cheers

Way to go mate, congrats!

Thanks for the well wishes, appreciated.

Just got news that this was filmed back in December, but the final editing won't be done until May this year. I should also point out that the version made was a slightly shorter (3.5 pages) than the one here. That's because they were looking for 3 minute shorts.

very cool

I look forward to this one. A short that has stayed with me.

Look forward to seeing this in May!

Excellent news, Dustin!  

Wow, awesome to here!  Congrats.  Maybe we will get to see it sometime soon?

Thanks everyone, yes I'll share it as soon as I am able to.

Powerful and moving script, great work!

Looking forward to the filmed version when you share it.

Going to watch this on a big screen at Hyde Park Picture House, Leeds on the 16th May. This will be the star film amongst 14 others, and there's also something of an after party, so will be  a lengthy afternoon. Well worth driving a couple hundred miles to see my name on the big screen for the first time.

How friggin cool - congrats

Huge congratulations, Dustin!!!  

That's great! Congrats on your beautiful daughter, too.

Fuck yeah - that's how to have a film you wrote shown to you.

Hope you enjoy.

Congratulations, man. Great news!

That was an amazing short, honestly. You flew in and out of scenes with one character's desire and an opponent and obstacle in their way in well crafted way. The narrative description was easy on the eyes and well described. Congrats

BLB

Greats news mate... what are the details of the showing, is it a public event?

Congratulations on getting this all the way to the screen.  Let us know if we can watch anywhere online.

Awesome news Dustin. Congratualtions on the success of this quality work of art. Can't wait to see it!

Cheers all. No, it's not a public event. Even I only have one definite place, although I can ask for extra seats once they're aware of the numbers that will turn up. As 15 films have been made, I imagine there will be a lot of people involved.

Congrats!  Nothing like seeing your name on the big screen and having the audience clap.  I had a premier of one of my movie last Saturday.  An amazing experience, especially because my movie is 20 plus years old but has some how turned into a cult classic.

Was lucky enough to see this on the big screen this afternoon (with Dustin), the filmmakers did a great job on it and it went down really well... congrats mate!

Wow! Congrats Dustin!

VERY cool!!! Congratulations!  

Pics?  

Quoted from AnthonyCawood Was lucky enough to see this on the big screen this afternoon (with Dustin), the filmmakers did a great job on it and it went down really well... congrats mate!

Reading about meet-ups are my most favorite type of post -- and even better given the circumstances here.

Quoted from Grandma Bear Pics?

My thoughts, as well.  Photos or it didn't happen.

I trust you blokes found time for a pint or two after?

Pint beforehand... it's my birthday and family demanded some time with me afterwards

But wasn't gonna miss the chance to say hi and watch the film!

Happy Birthday Anthony!!! See what happens when Libby is not around checking the calendar??

Hope you had a great day!  I'll have a couple of cold ones in your honor.  

Thanks Pia, and yes a really good day, spoilt rotten, saw some great shorts, had a beer or two and ate too much!

Enjoy the cold ones, just for me of course

How very cool.

Nice to meet you, Anthony. You got away before I could buy you a drink back... on your birthday too!

The film is extremely well produced, directed and the sets used were amazing. Definitely worth entering and something I certainly wouldn't be ashamed to put in my portfolio... unlike, all my other work to date. Not including the stuff in development at the moment.

Unfortunately, it'll be out of public viewing for at least a year while it does the festival circuit, which is something else I'm pleased about. I made a few good contacts at the after party, but had to cut out early due to not wanting to miss my train and the two hour journey home. Probably a good thing.

Good to meet you too mate, and no worries re beer... Next time!

Definitely a good adaptation of the script, and the standard of all the shorts shown was pretty decent too... Northern Film School script calls definitely worth keeping an eye open for.

Be a bit intimidating competing against the quality that resides here, but If the regulars all entered I imagine this site would take a nice percentage of the 15 films made.

Hey Dustin,
    I just saw that you got this made.  Great job!!  We might disagree on a few things here or there, but, I am glad when a talented writer has a major success like this.

The story was very intense and quite sad.  The historical accuracy was also quite good.  I hope we get to see it.  Best of luck with the cons they plan to enter it in.

Very deserving piece!!

Dan

Cheers Dan. Not exactly a major success but it is a success that hopefully leads to major successes later down the road once I have a decent enough portfolio.

Thanks for the read and for taking time out to reply.

Congrats Dustin, can't wait to see it online when it pops up. Just checked out the script and I'm interested in how it will looked especially since you said that the sets used were amazing.

Quoted from Demento Congrats Dustin, can't wait to see it on line when it pops up. Just checked out the script and I'm interested in how it will looked especially since you said that the sets used were amazing.

I suppose that deserves some further explanation. What I found amazing about them was that they were all hand built inside a studio. There was also a real art department involved. This film was granted the largest budget of the 15 made, at £1000, and I think they did an amazing job considering all those factors.

Perhaps an everyday viewer with no real ties to the film wouldn't find them as such.

Cheers, mate. I look forward to hearing of a success from you soon. That thriller you wrote, set in a cabin, was really good and you should try sending it out again. Took me three years to sell Repercussions.

Quoted from DustinBowcot Cheers, mate. I look forward to hearing of a success from you soon. That thriller you wrote, set in a cabin, was really good and you should try sending it out again. Took me three years to sell Repercussions.

Thanks for the encouraging words, Dustin. That was my first feature. I wrote six more after it. I still send it out, now and again. The problem is I can't really get anyone in an important position to actually read that one or the others. I still favor that particular one when I query as it should be very low budget and easy to make. But, no luck so far.

As I'm sure everyone here has experienced, the main problem with writing screenplays is not actually writing them but getting someone who can make them to sit down and have a look

Some stills from the set.

Drama 'Leningrad' from the #NorthernFilmSchool short script competition shooting @primestudios this week pic.twitter.com/XJPsByTJ89

— Northern Film School (@NFSFilmTV) December 16, 2015

Wow that looks awesome. Congrats!

Script looks in good hands!

very cool

Thanks guys. Much appreciated. That was why I thought the sets were amazing. Usually short films are shot in people's homes or wherever they can find. To have the sets built in a studio, with a real art department involved really impressed me.

Here's the finished film. Not sure how long the link will last as I know it still has festivals to be shown at.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv_r_lZYwgM

^^^Link in case the video embed doesn't work.

I hadn't read this for some reason, though I'd seen it pop out now and then. (I'm in and out of the forum while occupied with other things and don't read/comment as much as I'd like to.)

Anyhow, today I had the rare experience of reading a script and then seeing the filmed version right away. Interesting to do it that way -- read the script, read a year's worth of comments and suggestions ( and your responses), and then watch the film.
The script was very well done, and so was the film. It really captured the tone you worked to convey-- spare, desperate -- and it shows how the right actors (and camera work) can make a script like this (one that says less instead of more) come alive. I like the way they shot it, black and white, shades of light and dark, etc.

How do you feel about the choices they made? That is, the slight departures or changes in the script, such as the ending.

Needless to say, I'm glad I finally read this.
Henry

Hey,

Really enjoyable read, start to finish.

I found it slightly predictabe, was just unsure who was going to be dinner.

This took a bit away from the reveal for me but I don't think it really affected the overall story.

Great job.

Just saw that the short is avavailable they did a great job. Whole production is fantastic.

Did prefer your ending but still, bravo!

That was really well done - congrats!

Quoted from Stumpzian I hadn't read this for some reason, though I'd seen it pop out now and then. (I'm in and out of the forum while occupied with other things and don't read/comment as much as I'd like to.) Anyhow, today I had the rare experience of reading a script and then seeing the filmed version right away. Interesting to do it that way -- read the script, read a year's worth of comments and suggestions ( and your responses), and then watch the film. The script was very well done, and so was the film. It really captured the tone you worked to convey-- spare, desperate -- and it shows how the right actors (and camera work) can make a script like this (one that says less instead of more) come alive. I like the way they shot it, black and white, shades of light and dark, etc. How do you feel about the choices they made? That is, the slight departures or changes in the script, such as the ending. Needless to say, I'm glad I finally read this. Henry

Thanks for checking this out, Henry. I'm not 100% happy with the slight departures and changes. I think that changing the title takes something away from the contrast and I feel the ending with the knife about to cut was better. Probably not necessary, but it would really hammer the point home.

All in all though, I'm exceptionally pleased with this one. Cheers.

Quoted from Warren Hey, Really enjoyable read, start to finish. I found it slightly predictabe, was just unsure who was going to be dinner. This took a bit away from the reveal for me but I don't think it really affected the overall story. Great job.

With Leningrad as the title, anyone knowing the history will guess right away what the story is about. If you didn't know the history, then top marks for figuring it out so soon. I don't think that I was trying to hide it anyway.

I felt the knife was important at the end. The two extremes side by side. He, sacrificing his life for his family. She driven to just not care any more. So, yeah, I felt that my ending was better.

Cheers.

Nicely done.  Looks like the film-makers put a lot of work into the set/lighting to set the tone.  Good to see a 'period' piece can be pulled off on a shoestring.  I recall the original ending; it does seem a curious decision not to show the knife.  Anyways, good luck with the rest of the festivals.

Enjoyed that. Simple, effective.

If I recall the ending was different to this, but I could see why they went down this route, even though I preferred what I recall. Writers versus producers!

Good lighting. Effective short.

Hmm. Great little short but I remember it differently.
They were eating meat - or she did something with a piece of meat and only then we learn it's Petr they are eating. And she looks very casual and not caring about Petr's death.
But this way it's very good as well.

There was something in the original ending I've got to tell you. I would prefer to see that one on screen.

The guy playing Petr is absolutely fantastic I think. All in all, it's a gripping short.

Quoted from eldave1 That was really well done - congrats!

Cheers mate.

Quoted from stevemiles Nicely done.  Looks like the film-makers put a lot of work into the set/lighting to set the tone.  Good to see a 'period' piece can be pulled off on a shoestring.  I recall the original ending; it does seem a curious decision not to show the knife.  Anyways, good luck with the rest of the festivals.

They had a £1000 budget, but that doesn't take into account everybody's time. I also imagine that some of the equipment used would have been free. Likewise the post production stages. Students have a way easier time of it than the average filmmaker.

Thanks for checking it out and for the well wishes. Much appreciated.

Quoted from Reef Dreamer Enjoyed that. Simple, effective. If I recall the ending was different to this, but I could see why they went down this route, even though I preferred what I recall. Writers versus producers! Good lighting. Effective short.

Thanks mate. I've gone through the reasons for the story choices in earlier posts. I suppose though, as screenwriters, we just have to accept that there will often be drastic changes int he final product. Maybe the director will feel we've been too subtle and add some exposition that makes us cringe, or change a character name... just because they feel theirs sounds better. Thankfully that wasn't the case here, the director did a great job, but it's something we should all expect and not get too precious about when it happens.

Really well-made, Dustin. I do think that the Russian "accent" wasn't quite necessary, but I've seen that before, so perhaps it isn't an uncommon practice. And, yes, your ending was definitely more powerful. Other than that, though, they did a great job – congrats!