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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Action / Adventure Scripts  ›  Dark Knight: Triad
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Don
Posted: May 10th, 2018, 2:21pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Dark Knight: Triad by John Staats - Short, Action, Adventure - Tables turn on Bruce Wayne when he questions the Arkham Asylum Psychologist about a new inmate. 10 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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StevenClark
Posted: May 11th, 2018, 12:24pm Report to Moderator
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John,

Donít normally read fan fic but I felt like reading this one. The writing is very impressive, I thought. The story itself reads more like a scene from something larger, which I have a feeling it is. I enjoyed the small details of the story, like Bruce fidgeting or shifting in his seat. Or just the back and forth between the two, as it really seemed like they were both sizing each other up.

If it is just a one off, itís pretty good.

Steve


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JEStaats
Posted: May 11th, 2018, 3:26pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Steve,

Yeah, funny thing about my writing lately. I've been writing episodic shorts to what could/should be something bigger (e.g. Nowhere to Hyde).

Since the Dark Knight/Batman is so well known, I thought I'd just do a little snippet of how a psychologist might perceive Bruce Wayne when he's on the threshold of becoming masked vigilante. It just so happens that the Doctor he visits is Harley Quinn before she goes off her own deep-end.

Thanks for the positive remarks and taking the chance on reading it. I know fan-fic, especially superheroes, is not everyone's bag these days. In fact, my two favorite genres anymore are DC characters and westerns.

Maybe I should do a 'Badman and Robbing' short in the wild west?! Warren would HATE that!

Thanks again,
John
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HyperMatt
Posted: May 11th, 2018, 4:31pm Report to Moderator
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I remember seeing an Elseworlds comic that featured a Batman in the Old West. His horse was done up like a bat. Wish I'd bought that back in the day.


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StevenClark
Posted: May 11th, 2018, 4:51pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah, man. I dug it. Toyed with the idea of doing a fan fic myself, a Lethal Weapon where Riggs and Murtaugh are older, but...

Again, good work.


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HyperMatt
Posted: May 11th, 2018, 5:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from HyperMatt
I remember seeing an Elseworlds comic that featured a Batman in the Old West. His horse was done up like a bat. Wish I'd bought that back in the day.


http://dc.wikia.com/wiki/Batman:_The_Blue,_the_Grey,_and_the_Bat


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DanielW
Posted: May 17th, 2018, 12:58am Report to Moderator
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John,

Very entertaining.

Daniel.
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Warren
Posted: May 17th, 2018, 6:38pm Report to Moderator
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Hi John,

Gave this a read.

The descriptive writing on the first few pages is great, paints a really nice picture.

Dialogue was great, bordering on OTN a few times but not so bad that it affected the read in any way.

I enjoyed it.


Quoted Text
Maybe I should do a 'Badman and Robbing' short in the wild west?! Warren would HATE that!


Yes, yes I would, but I actually read a full western feature a few weeks ago and kind of enjoyed it so who knows.

All the best.


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