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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Soupman
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  Author    Soupman  (currently 151 views)
Don
Posted: October 1st, 2017, 9:53am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Soupman by Christopher Donald - Short, Comedy - An invulnerable superhero discovers masochistic pleasure when a rival causes him pain for the very first time. 7 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit http://www.simplyscripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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eldave1
Posted: October 1st, 2017, 8:24pm Report to Moderator
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You need a new scene heading for this:


Quoted Text
Soupman flies over the buildings with the mugger in his
arms. The mugger struggles and grunts.


Sorry, didn't really get the point of the story.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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HyperMatt
Posted: October 2nd, 2017, 4:06am Report to Moderator
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If they can make a superhero franchise out of a 'Bananaman'. I'm sure there is a story somewhere for 'Soupman'.
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JakeJon
Posted: October 2nd, 2017, 9:24am Report to Moderator
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C,
I was hoping your title would lead to a worthy comedic story.  It didn't.
Soupman???

Still trying to figure out what you were going for.

"No soup for you"!!!!!

JJ
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HyperMatt
Posted: October 3rd, 2017, 7:14am Report to Moderator
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Read it.
Why is he call soupman, just described as a man in boots and cape.
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MaxRuddock
Posted: October 10th, 2017, 8:37am Report to Moderator
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Hi Christopher,

I had a read and whilst I felt it might have potential, I think it needs quite a bit of work.

If you've not given up on it, I'd be interested to see how it develops though.

It's probably also worth asking yourself why are you writing something about a superhero too, because it's very unlikely to get made, cos that kind of thing costs a bomb!

Good luck

Max
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