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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  7 Montgomery Drive
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  Author    7 Montgomery Drive  (currently 1744 views)
Don
Posted: May 6th, 2018, 9:42am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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7 Montgomery Drive by Fred Koszewnik - Short, Comedy - The police are called on to investigate the disturbing screams from a house in their district. 1 page - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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HyperMatt
Posted: June 12th, 2018, 3:17am Report to Moderator
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I was surprised you were able to get so much story in one page (I think it’s really two pages, your descriptions need to be broken down a bit.
It felt suitably eerie and really felt the presence of the paranormal.
Think it would be more suitable in the horror or thriller sections.
Good job.


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Philostrate
Posted: July 16th, 2018, 1:09pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Fred,

I liked this one. Short, eerie and funny. However, I think that you should broke down the descriptions of the third scene a bit, as Matt said. Do it and you'll have a nice comedy horror short than can be filmed on the cheap.

If I'm not wrong, you used MS Word to write this one. In that case, take a look at a software called Celtx, or another called Trelby. They are free and, if you plan on writing more scripts, they'll make your life easier.

Good job.

David



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Philostrate  -  July 16th, 2018, 1:29pm
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HyperMatt
Posted: July 20th, 2018, 7:20pm Report to Moderator
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I heard that Celtx have limied their desktop features.

I've got to check out Trelby.


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