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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Snake Cam
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  Author    Snake Cam  (currently 260 views)
Don
Posted: May 10th, 2018, 2:22pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Snake Cam by Steven Clark - Short, Comedy - Awakened by thirst, a middle-aged Dad is in for the surprise of his life. 2 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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Thimmy
Posted: May 17th, 2018, 6:44am Report to Moderator
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You've probably seen prank videos on Youtube. This story is little more than a prank video. The end product could still turn out better than a prank video, but then it's not so much about the script, but rather thanks to the rest: directing, acting, cinematography, audio, editing etc.
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StevenClark
Posted: May 17th, 2018, 8:51am Report to Moderator
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Hi, thanks for reading. Yes, Iíve seen many prank videos on You Tube. I love them. Thereís not much to this script. It doesnít rank anywhere near my best. But Iíd just gotten new screenwriting software and I wanted to try it out, so I came up with this ridiculous little short.

Steve


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Forgive
Posted: May 18th, 2018, 5:32pm Report to Moderator
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Let The Sky Fall

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Uh, it's a little more than a prank video if it's got acting, directing, audio, and editing ... and a script; which means it's not a prank video then? Well this worked nice for me, could be produced nice and cheap, and I do get thimmy's point, a nice acting turn could really make the difference. As well as good directing, editing n audio. Nicely written though.
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StevenClark
Posted: June 27th, 2018, 12:18pm Report to Moderator
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This just got picked up by a producer in North Carolina who runs a non profit called Girls Rock Film Camp. Each year they produce, direct and edit short films in a one week time frame then debut the results in a closing ceremony.  Nice to hear they chose this, which was just something I banged out after getting Final Draft 10 to see how it works!

Steve


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Philostrate
Posted: July 16th, 2018, 12:33pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Steve,

It's well written and made me laugh, so it served its purpose. Congrats for it being picked up

David


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StevenClark
Posted: July 16th, 2018, 8:31pm Report to Moderator
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Forgive (Simon?),

Thanks for your nice comments earlier. Much appreciated.

David,

Thanks for reading. Appreciate the kind words. Let me know if you have something new on the boards you want looked at.


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LC
Posted: July 16th, 2018, 11:08pm Report to Moderator
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Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

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Hello, Mr Clark.

Nice. Made me laugh, so mission accomplished.  

The pedant in me draws your attention to 'lightning fast', not 'lightening' - unless of course he's getting his hair done.

And one final qualm: Father to son, right? 'You son of a bitch' sounds a bit harsh to my ear.

That said: Congrats on the quick pick up!

How do you rate FD10, then?
Improvements worth updating?



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StevenClark
Posted: July 17th, 2018, 12:21pm Report to Moderator
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Libby,

Thanks for the lightning notice. Good to know going forward. Guess that just slipped.

There are plenty of times my kids make my blood boil and I need to restrain myself. Any my oldest is eight. So I figure once a kid hits his teenage years then it wonít be that big a deal. Or would it? I donít know. Sure feels good blowing off steam.

FD 10. I never used FD 9, so itís all new to me. Honestly, I just wanted a clear upgrade in font, believe it or not. A few people said my formatting seems off in some of my old scripts, and, truthfully, the spacing did seem off. So, itís def an upgrade, and they say all the big shots in Hollywood use it. Funny, but itís not working. I feel I shouldíve had my million dollar seller by now!


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CindyLKeller
Posted: July 27th, 2018, 4:32pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Steven,
I see this one got picked up.
Congrats.
Nicely written and funny.
I can see why it got picked up. It would be fun to watch. Lol
Cindy


Award winning screenwriter
Available screenplays
TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy
ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror
A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama
HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
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StevenClark
Posted: July 27th, 2018, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from CindyLKeller
Hi Steven,
I see this one got picked up.
Congrats.
Nicely written and funny.
I can see why it got picked up. It would be fun to watch. Lol
Cindy


Thanks, Cindy! Appreciate the kind words. Hopefully, they do film it (things can always change).



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CindyLKeller
Posted: July 28th, 2018, 12:43pm Report to Moderator
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Well, I hope not.


Award winning screenwriter
Available screenplays
TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy
ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror
A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama
HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
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irish eyes
Posted: August 2nd, 2018, 8:02pm Report to Moderator
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There`s too much blood in my alcohol

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Wow this is probably your best work.
Although English is not your strong point it was a enjoy to read




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StevenClark
Posted: August 2nd, 2018, 8:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from irish eyes
Wow this is probably your best work.
Although English is not your strong point it was a enjoy to read




Comments are now closed, sir. Go polish your script.


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