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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Comedy Scripts  ›  Bon Appétit
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Don
Posted: September 9th, 2018, 11:35am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Bon Appétit by Barry Katz - Short, Comedy, Family - A jubilant gourmet stops at nothing to please.  1 page - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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MatthewLincoln
Posted: September 11th, 2018, 11:21pm Report to Moderator
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Barry,

Very cool short film. Kudos to you for being able to pull that off with one page(That makes me want to try writing a one or two page short). I liked the way you described the action when it came to cooking scenes. I could visualize what's going on. I think it's cool that you were really able to convey the story(without dialogue), within that one-page limit.  I  enjoyed reading it.

Matthew Lincoln

P.S. I wrote a short on the site. It's called INESCAPABLE. It's a Sci-fi short, influenced by The Terminator. Could you check it out, and give me some feedback?
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Barry_Katz
Posted: September 12th, 2018, 7:53am Report to Moderator
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Many thanks for the kind words, Matthew... much appreciated! I'm more than happy to take a look at "Inescapable" and will provide feedback as soon as possible. Best of luck with your writing!


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LC
Posted: September 12th, 2018, 9:29am Report to Moderator
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Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

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Very nice. And well written. I wondered where this was going. Was thinking it might turn sour but it was a relief to see it finish in good taste.

Great for a one-pager. Effective commentary too.


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eldave1
Posted: September 12th, 2018, 10:30am Report to Moderator
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A lot jammed in one page - I enjoyed this.

If you named the character after your self, you could title it Katz and Dog.

Nice job.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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LC
Posted: September 12th, 2018, 6:21pm Report to Moderator
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Do you like to eat pie after a good movie?

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Good one, Dave!


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eldave1
Posted: September 12th, 2018, 7:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Good one, Dave!


Gracias


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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