Some notes.
This one works for the most part. It has a nice bit of misdirection, and you might consider adding a bit of foretelling. She might confess to a feeling of real dread. After all, she doesn't know how he's going to take the pregnancy. On his part, he might have something that almost made him stay home or something. They both think doom, find joy, and then...
The ending is confusing, since they could be watching another building, not their own. If they indicate that it's a plane...well that works.
Best Richard |