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Page format seems a bit off, loads of space top and bottom of pages?
There's quite a lot of 'Mr. James...' which got a bit repetitive at times.
The story I can relate too as my Mrs was a teacher and got fed up with the kids being arseholes and there was nothing the teachers could do. When I was at school there were certain teachers who would literally drag you out of class by your tie lol.
I really enjoyed this but it seem a bit long, probably due to the page layout? The story itself was was very moving and the ending was very touching. Overall a great piece of work. I just love reading English scripts on here. I wasn't sure about the headmaster saying 'R and R' though. Maybe that's just me but it sounds a bit too American, I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that over here?
Very good script, bud.
Check out my scripts...if you want to, no pressure.
This is a longer piece than I'm used to writing and it is also an adaptation of a story I wrote, so I think that allowed me to develop the character more. Pleased you found him sympathetic - although, there are some mixed feelings about the character I wanted to get across.
I wanted to leave the ending slightly ambiguous - mainly, because I prefer that to spelling it out at the end. I see what you mean though about it maybe dampening the impact of the ending.
Alffy, thanks for checking it out - you got anything recent on here I can check out in return?
You're probably right about format as this is the first time I've used word. It was for an assignment for uni so I couldn't use software.
Probably a good shout about the repetition of Mr. James - I'll take a look at that.
Some folks have already commented on the formatting issues - so won't plow that ground again.
The dialogue did not seem modern. It had the tone of something from the late 60s, early 50s - a time where there was more of culture clash between old and young. So, if this is set in that time period - perfect. If it is set in today's time period - the dialogue seems dated.
Might consider giving Susan's character a name early on rather than just receptionist.
The ending was kind of meh for me - so, he is going to get some R & R and return back. I think I would like another scene where he's at a mental institute or just at home still yelling at the boy in the yard.