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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Shalefield
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  Author    Shalefield  (currently 796 views)
Don
Posted: February 15th, 2018, 10:37am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Shalefield by Mike W. Rogers - Short, Drama - The only thing more precious than the land you raise your family, is the ability to keep your family on that land. Regardless the cost. 14 pages

contest:Southern California Screenplay Contest Semi-Finalist 2018, Nazareth Film Festival 2017 - Finalist 2017 - pdf format - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  January 24th, 2019, 8:59am
revised draft
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Don
Posted: May 25th, 2018, 3:02pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Shalefield by Mike W. Rogers - Short, Drama - The only thing more precious than the land you raise your family, is the ability to keep your family on that land. Regardless the cost. 14 pages

contest: Southern California Screenplay Contest Semi-Finalist 2018, Nazareth Film Festival 2017 - Finalist 2017 - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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Mime
Posted: May 28th, 2018, 9:51am Report to Moderator
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Thanks, Don, for posting Shalefield.
Would be great to hear some feedback.
I'll be checking out the other members screenplay in the meantime.
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DanielW
Posted: May 30th, 2018, 7:46am Report to Moderator
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Hi Mike,

The strength of the story is the relationship between a proud father and his son. I felt there were some great moments.

Apart from formatting issues, the story was okay. But I think you could tell this story in 8 - 10 pages.

IMO, continuously describing the lengths and depths of the hole in detail, was unnecessary.


Welcome to SimplyScripts

Regards,

Daniel
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Mime
Posted: May 30th, 2018, 8:17am Report to Moderator
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Thank you for the feedback. I am going to take your advise and shorten the piece as you suggested.
I wrote the screenplay in Celtx. What are the formatting issues you are seeing?
Thank you again for your feedback, I truly appreciate it.
Mike
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Forgive
Posted: May 30th, 2018, 6:05pm Report to Moderator
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Celtic is fine, didn't see any major formatting issues aside from the 'continued' on each page, but far as I know you can take that off as an option in Celtix as its not really needed.
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