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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  The One Thing We've Got
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  Author    The One Thing We've Got  (currently 426 views)
Don
Posted: September 27th, 2018, 4:23pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The One Thing We've Got by Adam Olenn - Short, Drama - A young widow gets a nasty surprise when her late husband's ex shows up at the funeral. 9 pages - pdf format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


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HyperMatt
Posted: October 3rd, 2018, 6:02pm Report to Moderator
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A lot of camera directions on the first page.
I would get rid of the CUT TO:'s. They're irrelevant.


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DustinBowcot
Posted: October 4th, 2018, 1:57am Report to Moderator
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Camera directions are fine. They're only bad when you don't know what you're doing. If a director wants to change things later then they can. I took a look at the writing in the first couple of pages and it seems very competent to me.

Don't be afraid of camera directions. We are screenwriters, after all.

I should add that it also doesn't matter if we don't use them.
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