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Ready Or Not - Filmed (currently 3872 views) |
stevemiles |
Posted: December 7th, 2016, 4:28pm |
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January Project Group
Posts745 Posts Per Day 0.16 |
Steve,
I haven’t read the previous feedback so apologies if this is redundant. Chillingly simple - it does work as it is, but it almost feels too abstract. Like it would be over before the creepiness really landed. Perhaps a touch more set-up - mostly something to highlight the point that they’re alone in the house - or at least so they believe. What if she does tickle whatever it is under the covers before the Son makes an appearance? I like it, think you could ramp up the tension without adding much at all.
Steve |
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Reply: 15 - 31 |
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SAC |
Posted: December 8th, 2016, 6:52am |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
Steve,
Thanks for the read. A director asked me to write this for a 15 sec film challenge but it never got produced. That's why it's so simple. And I see what you mean being abstract, and finishing before the punch hits. Love your idea, BTW! Simple yet effective. Honestly if I would've put more time in on this I might've come up with something better as a finale, but your suggestion, as well as Libby and Michael's, are all worthy. Thanks again for the read!
Steve |
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Reply: 16 - 31 |
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Don |
Posted: January 9th, 2017, 9:01pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16381 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
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| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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Reply: 17 - 31 |
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Grandma Bear |
Posted: January 9th, 2017, 10:30pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Swamp... Posts7961 Posts Per Day 1.36 |
Congratulations!!! I've said for years, there's no better place than SS to get your scripts produced! Keep them coming. |
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Reply: 18 - 31 |
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Warren |
Posted: January 10th, 2017, 12:51am |
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Of The Ancients A man who has taught his mind to misbehave
LocationSydney, Australia Posts3897 Posts Per Day 1.36 |
Congrats, pretty creepy stuff. |
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Reply: 19 - 31 |
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Pale Yellow |
Posted: January 10th, 2017, 1:41am |
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January Project Group
Posts2083 Posts Per Day 1.40 |
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Reply: 20 - 31 |
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SAC |
Posted: January 10th, 2017, 7:15am |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
Thanks guys. This got filmed pretty quick. The director did it over a weekend, and I think did a pretty good job with it. |
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Reply: 21 - 31 |
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eldave1 |
Posted: January 10th, 2017, 4:52pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.95 |
Much congrats - good stuff! |
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Reply: 22 - 31 |
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irish eyes |
Posted: January 11th, 2017, 3:46pm |
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January Project Group There`s too much blood in my alcohol
LocationUpstate New York Posts1865 Posts Per Day 0.37 |
Although the script was way too long that I had to stop at page 2, the short movie was excellent. If you take the first 2 pages out you might be on to something. Just my 3 cents |
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Reply: 23 - 31 |
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stevie |
Posted: January 11th, 2017, 4:05pm |
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Of The Ancients
LocationDown Under Posts3441 Posts Per Day 0.61 |
I hadn't read the script Steve but watched this just now. My daughter freaked out lol! Good stuff! |
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Reply: 24 - 31 |
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Reef Dreamer |
Posted: January 11th, 2017, 4:39pm |
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Old Timer Part time writer
LocationThe Island of Jersey Posts2612 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Well done - effective short |
| My scripts HERE
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr |
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Reply: 25 - 31 |
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Jeremiah Johnson |
Posted: January 11th, 2017, 7:50pm |
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Posts317 Posts Per Day 0.08 |
Although the script was way too long that I had to stop at page 2, the short movie was excellent. If you take the first 2 pages out you might be on to something. Just my 3 cents |
Dang! I wish I was that funny! Congrats on the film Steve. It was good. |
| My Scripts: SHORTS Bed Bugs I Got The Shaft No Clowning Around Fool's Gold Five Days for Redemption
TELEVISION Father, Forgive Me Sheriff of Nowhere |
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Reply: 26 - 31 |
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SAC |
Posted: January 12th, 2017, 9:30am |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
Thanks for checking this out and glad you thought it was good. I received about six requests to film this, but ultimately the director I chose was just based on a trailer of his I'd seen.
the short movie was excellent. |
Glad you liked it, Mark! I believe the director filmed this drunk and edited sober. Or was it the other way around? I'm not sure now... |
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Reply: 27 - 31 |
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irish eyes |
Posted: January 12th, 2017, 1:54pm |
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January Project Group There`s too much blood in my alcohol
LocationUpstate New York Posts1865 Posts Per Day 0.37 |
Lol... Ahh inside jokes are the best |
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Reply: 28 - 31 |
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Zack |
Posted: February 8th, 2017, 6:27pm |
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January Project Group
LocationErlanger, KY Posts4487 Posts Per Day 0.69 |
Read the script before I watched the movie. Glad I did. Very well written, creepy short. Nice work. Unfortunately I feel like the movie didn't quite pack the same punch. I just didn't dig the cinematography or the score. Not bad though. Congrats on getting it filmed. ~Zack~ |
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Reply: 29 - 31 |
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