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Motion Sensor - WT - Sold (currently 2199 views)
jayrex
Posted: April 4th, 2018, 2:36pm
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Cut to three weeks earlier
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I think the last few words should be stab, stab, stab Aside from that, not bad.
Revision History (1 edits)
jayrex - April 4th, 2018, 6:02pm
Reply: 15 - 23
ajr
Posted: April 4th, 2018, 5:22pm
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I got confused between the kitchen light and the external light. Was one on and not the other, or were both off at some point?
Reply: 16 - 23
LC
Posted: April 4th, 2018, 9:21pm
Administrator Location The Great Southern Land
Posts 7621
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I love the line about balding Bob - still styling optimistically. Made me laugh. A little bit of confusion over the exterior light (lighting up the kitchen) and the actual kitchen light. I was strangely left wanting a bit more build up, before Kitty cops it, and a bit more for the denouement. I suppose that's a one-pager for you. Good job.
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Reply: 17 - 23
AnthonyCawood
Posted: November 12th, 2018, 8:22pm
January Project Group
Location UK
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Just sold Motion Sensor to a producer in LA...
Reply: 18 - 23
Warren
Posted: November 12th, 2018, 8:56pm
Of The Ancients
A man who has taught his mind to misbehave
Location Sydney, Australia
Posts 3897
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Congrats, Anthony
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Reply: 19 - 23
Matthew Taylor
Posted: November 13th, 2018, 5:05am
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Excellent! Well done
Feature 42.2 Two steps to writing a good screenplay: 1) Write a bad one 2) Fix it
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Reply: 20 - 23
eldave1
Posted: November 13th, 2018, 11:34am
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Reply: 21 - 23
AnthonyCawood
Posted: November 13th, 2018, 2:41pm
January Project Group
Location UK
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Reply: 22 - 23
FrankM
Posted: November 14th, 2018, 1:14am
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Location Between Chair and Keyboard
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Congratulations! * light clicks off * Uh, guys...
Reply: 23 - 23
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