Spoilers!

Dustin,

pg. 4

(EXT. CLEARING IN WOODS
Darryl comes to a stop in the same clearing as yesterday. The morning sun gives the view a different look. He pulls out his phone and takes another photo.

He looks at the picture and seems happy with it. He doesn�t notice the newly acquired photos from last night.)

The camper is unaware of the pics. This is what I was referencing to. The premise is based on him noticing those pics but it never happened. So, what was the point in doing it? The camper is enjoying his day. And the fact that the camper puts the knife and cell together but, the figure takes the cell instead, doesn�t impose a threat. This script can be shortened or lengthened depending on how the writer wants to take the story. I say shortened since it�ll cost less to make and help the writer to get more creative.

Hope this clears things up,

Gabe

Quoted from Mr.Ripley The camper is unaware of the pics. This is what I was referencing to. The premise is based on him noticing those pics but it never happened.

The misdirection is for the viewer. The viewer is meant to believe the camper is a potential victim of the photo taker until the reveal that the opposite is true.

I don't think it would help the story at all if the viewer got to see that the camper knew somebody was taking pix of him. That's not the point of the story at all.

Dustin

Let’s agree to disagree then? No ones right nor wrong here. Just offered a helping review to the writer.

Gabe

Quoted from Mr.Ripley Dustin Let’s agree to disagree then? No ones right nor wrong here. Just offered a helping review to the writer. Gabe

No, let's not agree to disagree... Somebody clearly is right and somebody clearly is wrong. If the reviewer is confused (not the fault of the writer), then I'm not sure how helpful a review from them can be. I was just trying to clear that up for you, not put it up for debate.

One thing I love about writing is it is always open to interpretation. People are individuals with their own thoughts on things, and are free to stray from the herd. Often when I write or re-read what I have written, I will learn new things about my script, and get new, sometimes better ideas to incorporate into it. Sometimes I will think of different meanings behind what my writing partner and I have written.

Dustin

The writer will judge my review�s validity. I offered a suggestion that the writer can consider incorporating into his/her story, nothing more. The suggestion may differ from what the other reviewers have mentioned or what the writer originally had intended but, it�s a suggestion relevant to the story. In no way did I say nor imply the writer or other reviewers are wrong, just to consider a different option.

Gabe

Quoted from Mr.Ripley Dustin ...but, it�s a suggestion relevant to the story. In no way did I say nor imply the writer or other reviewers are wrong, just to consider a different option.

I can't believe that what I have said has gone straight over your head.

First of all, you said that you didn't get a sense the camper was in danger. Then when I question that by putting you in the camper's shoes and asking if you would be scared, you ignore that and talk about the camper being unaware of the stranger. The camper does not need to be aware of the stranger taking pix, only the viewer does. It is the viewer being misdirected.

What is there to disagree about?

Dustin

Nothing which I’m leaving as that.

I’m going to leave this thread alone until the writer returns with possibly a new draft in which I’ll review it.

Have a good day,

Gabe

Quoted from Mr.Ripley Dustin Nothing which I’m leaving as that. I’m going to leave this thread alone until the writer returns with possibly a new draft in which I’ll review it. Have a good day, Gabe

So you completely ignore the logic again for favour of making a post that says you're not going to say anything. In the time it took you to write that you could have tackled the fallacies in your argument. How pathetic.

Hey Kirsten,

Thought I'd check this out. And also wanted to see what all the fuss is about

SPOILERS

So I'm sorry Gabe, but this is literally what happens. Its not up for interpretation, it just is what it is.

Quoted from Mr.Ripley Hey Kirsten How about making it look as if the campers a target but then the twist happens?

The camper does have reason to be worried and there is a reason for him to take out the knife.

Quoted Text A twig snaps in the woods. He turns towards the sound and listens. He turns back to his book, slams it shut. Grabs a jug of water from beside his chair and pours it on the fire. He looks uneasily into the woods then heads into the tent. INT. TENT - NIGHT Darryl, now in his underwear, grabs a large hunting knife from out of his bag and puts it by his phone.

We are led to believe he suspects someone is there, this in no way leads to the assumption that he is a killer.

Kirsten, you swap between a large hunting knife, a knife, and machete, which is it? Knife or machete, they are quite different.

Quoted Text He steps back and sees Darryl is holding a large knife. YOUNG MAN/FIGURE Please, I was just playing! Please I’m sick, I know I need help! Just please don’t hurt me! Darryl lifts the machete up and lunges for the Young Man.

Not a bad little short, easy to make.

Good luck with it.

Hey Dustin and Warren

Spoilers!

I wanted to apologize especially with the “making the camper a target” quote.

It’s clear that the camper is a target but I didn’t find the fear factor to strong. I believe it would be escalated further if the camper sees the pics.

The twig sound could’ve been an animal. Maybe make it more specific to the kid stalking by inserting the scene of the kid watching after the sound is made?

But I have feeling my advice is not going to be taken so I have no problem with that. As long as I helped the writer to the best of my ability, I did my job. Some may disagree with that and your entitled to it.

Gabe

Dustin, your negativity and your poor social skills are giving me cancer, they're that toxic. Why don't you stop manipulating the conversation to try and make yourself sound correct? Are you a part-time or full-time troll? It's not a healthy way to live being as angry as you. Long story short, I dread every time I spot one of your comments, for fear of it just being another attempt to break down one of your fellow writer's spirits. You make me sick.

Hi guys! Sorry, stop the press! it's all good.....

The machete is my error. I was in a rush to post this, (see, rushing means mistakes, mistakes means confusion).
I originally wanted to use the machete for horror effect, but last minute realized it would be confusing. I my mind since he's a killer he had a machete in his backpack.

Gabe, I need to make the premise clearer. Darryl doesn't see the pictures. And he doesn't know that the creeper was in the tent the first night, but he figures it out the second night. This is were it got confusing, I need to show that Darryl sees him.

No problems Kirsten. Can’t wait for next draft.

Gabe

Quoted from Kirsten ... I need to show that Darryl sees him.

You don't need to do that. Just because one person is confused it doesn't mean everyone else will be or are.

The viewer realises the camper knows about the creeper because he is a killer and obviously the wilier of the two. The end says this all without you needing to show it. The viewer should make that connection. if they don't, that is not your fault. Don't dumb down your work.

But, it's up to you.