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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Romantic Comedy Scripts  ›  Falling For The Salsa Beat
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  Author    Falling For The Salsa Beat  (currently 463 views)
Don
Posted: March 8th, 2017, 5:16pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Falling For The Salsa Beat by Fausto Lucignani - Short, Romance - During a casual encounter, a man and a woman fall for each other while dancing to the electrifying rhythm of Salsa. 9 pages
production: Shoestring Musical Romance. - pdf, format

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RichardR
Posted: March 13th, 2017, 12:02pm Report to Moderator
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Some notes.

While this one has some good points, it needs a better set up.  The story line is direct and easily guessed by the audience.  From the stopping by for a cup of sugar to gee, you're a dancer to?  I'm afraid the audience will yawn because this sort of set up has been seen often.  Then, the lessons on how to be sexy.  

And the ending is exactly what the audience guessed ten pages earlier.

I think you might try to twist this tale in some fashion.  Find a way to keep the audience guessing.

Best
Richard  
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khamanna
Posted: March 13th, 2017, 3:02pm Report to Moderator
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Hi,

I liked the set up and the premise.

I think what they dance is more bachata than salsa. And it's a different type of dance although from the same family. Is it possible to make salsa sensual? I've never seen sensual salsa, but lots of sensual bachata. Kizomba is sensual and zuk (don't know the correct spelling for this one)

I dance salsa for a year now - so that's how I know. One other thing is - I don't think it's possible to learn salsa over a night even for an excellent ballet dancer. One of my girlfriends is a professional dancer (10 years dancing at school starting from age 6 and 20 years of professional on stage folk dancing), she started salsa two months ago and still couldn't master it. But I can buy into it in a movie, if you play it right. She's not great but she does something right, maybe the charm is in the mix of ballet and salsa.

I think your script lacks conflict. Maybe she can't dance salsa. And she dance more of the ballet. And that's when Xavier realizes he can mix it up.

Also, the introduction - two page of dialog is a bit long for a short short. Especially if they see each other for the first time. And she asks him for a cup of sugar - better be fix the floor light or something.
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Fausto
Posted: March 14th, 2017, 8:48am Report to Moderator
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Richard,
thank you very much for reading the script. I agree with your suggestions...maybe I have been too goody-goody with the story...no difficulties, hence, too predictable. I'll modify the script.
My best,
Fausto
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Fausto
Posted: March 14th, 2017, 9:04am Report to Moderator
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Hi Khamanna,
I appreciate your expert review of the script...I agree with you...it's impossible to learn Salsa in one session especially if you have a classical training...but, as you smartly pointed out, this is a movie and anything can happen. Regarding the difference between Salsa and Bachata, I have to add that Salsa is a combination of African rhythms and jazz and it was developed in Cuba and then in New York City and Miami. Bachata is a Santo Domingo dance and it has its origin in the "Campesino (peasant)" music. Bachata is more linear than Salsa. Regarding the "sensuality" of salsa, I have to point out that it's a very sensual, subtly erotic dance...with the woman being the center of attraction with her hip, legs and body movements. It's kind of a sexual stimulation for the male dancer. I would suggest that is you really want to dance Salsa, you put all your sensuality in the dance...it's not only a dance, it's a transmission of love. I assume you're a woman. Just an additional note: I have been a professional drummer and percussionist for at least 30 years of my life, both in NYC and Central/South America.
Thanks again,
All my best to you and...move your hips!
Fausto
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Simon
Posted: September 3rd, 2017, 10:07am Report to Moderator
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A bit of a coincidence Xavier and Maureen meeting at just the right time, and Maureen is the just the sort of person Xavier needs. 'They have created a perfect dance partnership'. Perfect? A bit soon, isn't it? The two seem to get very close to each other emotionally, very quickly as well. I thought your script was a bit silly, but your writing isn't bad.


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Dustin
Posted: September 3rd, 2017, 4:03pm Report to Moderator
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I liked this but skipped much of the dialogue. I like the idea of strangers meeting and falling for each other through a learned dance. However, you should cut all the talk. It gets in the way of the animal passion that should resonate from a film like this.
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