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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Romantic Comedy Scripts  ›  The Vegan Date
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  Author    The Vegan Date  (currently 125 views)
Don
Posted: November 27th, 2017, 5:16pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Vegan Date by Yogita Rajian - Short, Romantic Comedy - A guy who loves eating non vegetarian food goes on a first date with a girl who wants nothing to do with it. 5 pages. - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


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HyperMatt
Posted: November 28th, 2017, 7:40am Report to Moderator
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I'm not that much of  a romantic comedy fan but the scenario of eating out with a vegan is an interesting one. Some amusing bits, I think the humour could have been more subtle in places.
I would have liked the ending to be a bit more amusing. I think he got off lightly.
You need to put DAY or NIGHT in your sluglines and cap charecters when they are first introduced.
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Fausto
Posted: December 7th, 2017, 1:45pm Report to Moderator
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Cute story. Check the slug style (DAY/NIGHT). Try to write two more pages to complete the funny story.
I see a good chemistry between Dustin and Emma...use it.
All my best,
Fausto
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CharlesH
Posted: December 13th, 2017, 6:41pm Report to Moderator
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I thought this was charming. I liked the awkwardness of the two on the date when ordering. Then ending was nice. Great job
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