A Cure for Immortality by John Hunter - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, a miraculous cure for immortality breaks out. 4 pages  - pdf format

production: A not-too-serious, low budget, sci-fi think piece. One actor (male or female), one location, one park bench, one medium sized dog. Not actually for sale, but available. - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

I felt hugely let down when I read the script. I suppose I went in expecting too much. It's basically a talking heads script with one guy relating the entire story to a dog. Even if the dog understood what he was saying, the dog would already know what happened.

On page one, the story promises to reveal a 'cure' for immortality. We then read three pages of some terrible exposition before finding out on page 4 that the entire read has been worthless.

Yes, I got a little angry about that and my comment reflects that disappointment.

The writing is lifeless: There is no description. we're left with having to make do with MAN who has no description. He could be anybody.

The dialogue is poor: It's on the nose and pure exposition. The jokes don't land.

There is no story: It falls flat at the end as the promised punchline is put down to a 'I don't know' The End.

Dustin. Glad you enjoyed it. The 'cure' for immorality is death. And of course the dog understood. You can talk to a dog about anything, but cats just don't care. Thanks for the read. John

Quoted from JohnHunter The 'cure' for immorality is death.

If something dies, it was not immortal in the first place.