I like the concept but something just doesn't click. Maybe don't start him out so cartoony (even though he is a cartoon). It might work better if he's very serious and genuinely threatening. So when he falls out of the plane it's this sinister badass getting reduced to crying and begging and what not.

I agree with what everyone else said.  

If this was written as a 60s cartoon, great job.  If this was written as anything else, then wow, not so good,  I'm going for the former to be honest.

I thought it was funny, seeing the antog get his "just desserts" at the end,

And the Acme line was funny.  

But, writer, you gotta learn the difference between Super, VO, OS, Insert etc..

Good luck
Dan

I liked his five stages - thinking it's smart.

I didn't like the beginning, cartoonish for me and I wouldn't mind the first scene if the rest of it was as cartoonish as the first one.

Funny stuff though, all of it. Nice job.

Good idea, okay execution.

I liked the idea and the basic story you got going on here. Classic villain never getting his due and the comedy bits are very cartoonish, which works for this story.

I think I was put off by some of the formatting, it kind of read all over the place for me with so many inserts and lack of capitalization for FADE IN. I think a good polish and extension of the story outside of these parameters would really make is pop.

Well-written and executed. Thumbs up.
Henry

Exit Five Stages - Left

Short notes: Formidable.

story (0-5): 5

character (0-5): 5

presentation (0-5): 4

total: 14

I liked it because it was absurd from the outset - Dastardly's vendetta against the Goodman family - and then it got really absurd as he bargained on the way down. Unique, which I respect, even if it's not perfect.

So, if I see it correctly regarding your opponent's comment, the curve you take becomes frightening.

By far my clear favorite.

I want to thank all of you for your kind words and comments.  This was hard.

When I got the email for comedy, skydiving, and time bomb, I said you gotta be kidding because bomb doesn't equal comedy most times.

This was the 4th idea that I finally went with.

Clearly I'm thrilled with the results and the feedback.  This is the best thing I've written since I dedicated myself to this comeback.

Most of you know my struggles with my health and know my odds of selling anything become much lower due to my health, yet many of you have taken hours to get to know me and help me be a better writer and person.  I can't thank you all enough.

The last 3 things I wrote have been better and I have felt better about them.

Can't wait for the insanity of round 2.
Thanks again
Dan

Congrats Dan, I enjoyed this one and thought it was very creative.

In case you didn't see my note on the other thread...

Great job, Dan!  Very entertaining.