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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2018 Writers' Tournament  ›  The Writers' Tournament Championship Round. Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    The Writers' Tournament Championship Round.  (currently 5274 views)
Mr. Blonde
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 11:27am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Welcome to the finals, Paul and Dave. It's been a long month and a half, hasn't it? This whole thing has been exhausting and I'm not even in the mood to set up a final round. So, I'm just going to declare you both the winner.

Yeah, right. Did you think it was going to be that easy? Well, it almost was going to be that easy. The original plan, a few weeks ago, was to have the winners simply write the best script they could in this timeframe. Then, I thought about it and thought, "What would that teach you?" Now, in the previous four rounds, I've tested you all in different ways, but there's one I haven't done, yet. Re-creation.

Six years ago, I wrote what was my favorite script sequence of all time. I always wondered what it would have been like to see how other people used the same information. In the championship round, we're going to find out.

This round, you'll be dealing with the 6 big questions: Who, What, Where, When, Why and How. The trick is that you'll both be writing the same script using these details. You'll be assigned the 5 W's and coming up with How is what will differentiate your scripts.

This is where the fun part (hopefully. I have no clue what constitutes fun) comes in. Only the writers will know what the script topic is until the scripts are released. When the voting finally opens, the readers will, then, know what the topic actually was (if they haven't figured it out by then).

Due to the limited scripts which have to be read and the extra time which may be necessary for writing, the writers have until 11:59PM next Friday to enter their scripts. After that, there will be two days of voting and reviewing. May the best writer/script duo win.

Official Rules:

Write a script using the Who, What, Where, When and Why to which you've been assigned.
No genre stipulation.
No page stipulation.
Scripts due in 180 hours.

eldave1
vs.
PKCardinal


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jayrex
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 12:01pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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This is intriguing!


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khamanna
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 12:51pm Report to Moderator
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The questions on my mind right now are What? And Why? And did I ask What?
Duo wins... I don't know what that means

Duo wins
Dont know what that means
Genre stipulation
That's a complication

Actually, I like that. We will test ourselves what we think of adhering to parameters. That's interesting. This one is as much for a reader as it's for a writer.
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MarkItZero
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 1:48pm Report to Moderator
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Uh-oh, Khamanna's starting to rhyme. This tournament has taken a toll.

Paul and Dave - I salute you. One of you will crawl to the finish line. Exhausted, bleeding, and delirious. Yet victorious.


That rug really tied the room together.
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eldave1
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 4:16pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from MarkItZero
Uh-oh, Khamanna's starting to rhyme. This tournament has taken a toll.

Paul and Dave - I salute you. One of you will crawl to the finish line. Exhausted, bleeding, and delirious. Yet victorious.


Thanks, bud - appreciate it


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 5:32pm Report to Moderator
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I'm going to post my questions here rather than PM (ignore my prior one) to ensure that Paul has the access to the responses (i.e., he may have similar questions).

- Are the writers assigned the exact same Who, What, Where, When, Why?  

- Shouldn't the voters know the parameters before they comment? Right now, if I understand it correctly they won't know till the voting opens (i.e., after reads and comments). Since many comments often relate to how closely a script meets the parameters it seems to be the better course is to let them know up front.

Re: "Where" and "When" - I'm assuming that they don't have to be 100% of the script. e.g., we're given a place for the event. I'm assuming that part of the story can take place outside that place. Same for "When". Yes/No?

Thanks.



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Pale Yellow
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 6:56pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats to Paul and Dave!
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LC
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 7:00pm Report to Moderator
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Congrats, you big contenders!

Okay, so this is clearly re-creation, not recreation.  

Other than that I haven't a clue what's cooking except that it's difficult enough that you guys need an entire week to get it done.

I assume the April OWC will now be re-scheduled for Halloween due to burnout?


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eldave1
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 7:41pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks Dena and Libby - appreciated.

And I am burned out



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Stumpzian
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 7:54pm Report to Moderator
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Looking forward to the Finals. The Thrilla in Scriptzilla!

Two worthy heavyweights: Dave and Paul.

Congratulations to you both.



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eldave1
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 8:02pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Stumpzian
Looking forward to the Finals. The Thrilla in Scriptzilla!

Two worthy heavyweights: Dave and Paul.

Congratulations to you both.


Thanks, Henry - love the title you came up with.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 9:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
- Are the writers assigned the exact same Who, What, Where, When, Why?  

- Shouldn't the voters know the parameters before they comment? Right now, if I understand it correctly they won't know till the voting opens (i.e., after reads and comments). Since many comments often relate to how closely a script meets the parameters it seems to be the better course is to let them know up front.

Re: "Where" and "When" - I'm assuming that they don't have to be 100% of the script. e.g., we're given a place for the event. I'm assuming that part of the story can take place outside that place. Same for "When". Yes/No?


Yes, you both have an identical topic.

No, the readers shouldn't know what the topic is before reading. If it wouldn't have been a nightmare beforehand, I would have stuck with this rule for the entire tournament. The idea is that I want people to read the script for content, first and foremost. Then, they can judge it on how it followed the rules. The most important thing should always be script quality.

When I wrote the scene, it was a 27 page set piece contained within that one location, but part of a larger story. You guys don't have that luxury, so I'll allow for a bit of wiggle room on "Where", but don't push me on that. I'm only being lenient to avoid another incident where someone leaves the site because of reader complaints. "When" is set in stone. That day, period. =)


Quoted from LC
I assume the April OWC will now be re-scheduled for Halloween due to burnout?


To be honest, I'm not 100% sure who's running April this year. If the tournament hadn't fallen behind by a week, we might still be on schedule. However, I don't know where it stands at the moment.


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LC
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 9:55pm Report to Moderator
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At this point obviously it's clearer for the writers (hopefully) and we readers just have to put a sock in it and be patient.

Sean, thanks for the clarification on the OWC.


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PKCardinal
Posted: April 20th, 2018, 10:45pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for asking the questions, Dave. Saved me from a sure disqualification. I'll share details when all is said and done.

Starting over.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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eldave1
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 10:36am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde

Yes, you both have an identical topic.


Got it. Thanks.


Quoted Text
No, the readers shouldn't know what the topic is before reading. If it wouldn't have been a nightmare beforehand, I would have stuck with this rule for the entire tournament. The idea is that I want people to read the script for content, first and foremost. Then, they can judge it on how it followed the rules. The most important thing should always be script quality.


That's a mistake IMO particularity given this finite set of parameters. i.e., it'll be a head-scratcher for many readers until they actually see the constraints. But whatever -  onward.


Quoted Text
When I wrote the scene, it was a 27 page set piece contained within that one location, but part of a larger story. You guys don't have that luxury, so I'll allow for a bit of wiggle room on "Where", but don't push me on that. I'm only being lenient to avoid another incident where someone leaves the site because of reader complaints. "When" is set in stone. That day, period. =)


Don't like this - but thanks.  I'll just use my own judgement on where to wiggle. If it backfires that's on me.




My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 10:59am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1
That's a mistake IMO particularity given this finite set of parameters. i.e., it'll be a head-scratcher for many readers until they actually see the constraints. But whatever -  onward.


I'll happily explain my logic. Say you have two scripts. Script 1 followed the rules perfectly while script 2 broke one of the rules.

Everyone is in agreement that script 2 is the much better script, but because it broke the rules, some people would be pissed that it moves on to the next round. They would rather see the weaker script which adhered to the rules perfectly be the one that moves on.

See, this tournament, in full transparency, has taught me to hate people much more than any contest I had done before this.

During this tournament, I had complaints about a script that was winning the voting in its match-up, which caused the writer to withdraw their script and leave the site. I had somebody withdraw from the tournament because there were pretty much no parameters at all, I've had numerous complaints about the scripts not being EXACT when it comes to the rules along with the few other problems.

The point is, just write a good script. This is just for fucking fun.


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eldave1
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 11:36am Report to Moderator
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You are missing my point - my fault for not being clearer.

It's less about whether a writer is breaking or not breaking the rules. It's more about a reader understanding the framework under which the story had to be developed.

To your other points: I wouldn't sweat them.  Every OWC has the exact same challenge/problem - it's the nature of the game and this one will as well - it's just delayed. i.e., You're going to post the parameters when voting opens so any angst/opinions will take place then rather than during the reads.

But whatever - we'll go your route. Thanks for the space to allow me to make the point. I'm done and moving on.



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Stumpzian
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 1:06pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde

During this tournament, I had complaints about a script that was winning the voting in its match-up, which caused the writer to withdraw their script and leave the site. I had somebody withdraw from the tournament because there were pretty much no parameters at all, I've had numerous complaints about the scripts not being EXACT when it comes to the rules along with the few other problems.


Good grief. Sounds like a behind-the-scenes shit show.



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Gary in Houston
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 1:23pm Report to Moderator
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I think we all need to buy Sean a beer or two (or ten).  He deserves it.


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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Mr. Blonde
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 1:32pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Gary in Houston
I think we all need to buy Sean a beer or two (or ten).  He deserves it.


I don't. Two things:

1. Don did a hell of a lot more work this tournament than I did.

2. Just finish the tournament and that'll be a prize enough for me. Then, somebody else can run this cursed thing again at some point in the future.


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PKCardinal
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 1:49pm Report to Moderator
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It's disappointing to hear about the negativity.

However, one way to like at it might be: you've created something that people care about. No entry fee. No prize. Nothing on the line, and still, people got fired up enough about things to quit over it.

If this were a script, you'd have to consider that a win.

Love it. Hate. Just, please, don't be apathetic about it.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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PKCardinal
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 1:50pm Report to Moderator
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Wait. Aren't I supposed to be busy writing something?


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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khamanna
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 2:27pm Report to Moderator
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I guess this is our stab at Oscar, the only one some of us would get - so we make it as dramatic as possible to really live it.

I think you should forgive us, Sean

But great challenge. Original, full of twists and else - like riding a writing roller coaster! Never would have thought something like that was possible. And the last three rides were a blast: three one-pagers, then a pairing twist and now something I for one keep wondering about. Can't wait to see what it the challenge is.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 2:43pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal
However, one way to like at it might be: you've created something that people care about. No entry fee. No prize. Nothing on the line, and still, people got fired up enough about things to quit over it.

If this were a script, you'd have to consider that a win.

Love it. Hate. Just, please, don't be apathetic about it.


But, apathetic is my default mode... =)


Quoted from khamanna
I guess this is our stab at Oscar, the only one some of us would get - so we make it as dramatic as possible to really live it.

I think you should forgive us, Sean


Sure, why not? I've already forgiven a couple writers. You get forgiveness and you get forgiveness and you get forgiveness. Lol.


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LC
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 6:12pm Report to Moderator
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I take it the person who left was not a regular?

People get a little competitive and very serious when you call something a contest, even without a prize.
Quite amusing. But vexing for you, Sean, by the sounds of it. Least it's been 'never a dull moment'.

Thanks Sean. Thanks Don.


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eldave1
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Quoted from LC
I take it the person who left was not a regular?

People get a little competitive and very serious when you call something a contest, even without a prize.
Quite amusing. But vexing for you, Sean, by the sounds of it. Least it's been 'never a dull moment'.

Thanks Sean. Thanks Don.


If someone leaves over an OWC dispute - this might not be the site for them


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Gary in Houston
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Quoted from eldave1


If someone leaves over an OWC dispute - this might not be the site for them


Maybe screenwriting period isn't for them.


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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Mr. Blonde
Posted: April 21st, 2018, 10:32pm Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from LC
I take it the person who left was not a regular?


It was someone I was fond of on the site, but it's something that happens.


Quoted from eldave1
If someone leaves over an OWC dispute - this might not be the site for them


I suppose, but you get the idea that this had been building up for a while. Live and learn, though, right?


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LC
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
It was someone I was fond of on the site...

That's pretty sad.

If he or she is reading this, I hope you rethink your decision.



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DanC
Posted: April 22nd, 2018, 12:05am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC

That's pretty sad.

If he or she is reading this, I hope you rethink your decision.



A few things.

I totally missed voting.  Sorry about that.

I agree with Libby, as seemingly always.  To the person who left, it's a contest.  Get over it.  Writing is hard.  If it wasn't everyone would do it.  Life is short and hard.  We've lost too many for dumb reasons.  We need to stick together, not fracture apart.

I will admit that I'm a rules stickler, but when I lost. I didn't get upset at anyone else but me because I didn't write a good enough script to win.  I'm glad my opponent is in the finals.  I like both people, so good luck to both.

But, seriously, writing is hard, life is harder, but the only way to get better is to grow as a writer and a person.  Keep the trajectory moving upwards of you can, and if you write a pile of steamy crap, make the next one better.  I feel better about my stories than I ever have.

I see more today.  The only way to do that is with growth and experience.

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Grandma Bear
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I want to thank Sean and show support for running this WT and being a mod. There's always a lot of shit going on behind the curtains that others don't know about and running a OWC almost always has its own issues as well.

I'm pretty sure the person that left will come back at some point.


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DanC
Posted: April 23rd, 2018, 2:14pm Report to Moderator
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If people are interested in an April OWC and can't find a mod, I'm willing to step up.

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Steven
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Quoted from DanC
If people are interested in an April OWC and can't find a mod, I'm willing to step up.

Dan


Interested.
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JEStaats
Posted: April 23rd, 2018, 4:55pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Put me on the list.
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DanC
Posted: April 24th, 2018, 11:41am Report to Moderator
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Fired off an email to Don


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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Steven
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Quoted from DanC
Fired off an email to Don


Great, thanks.

I'm hoping for something a little out of the box.
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Don
Posted: April 24th, 2018, 5:25pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Hi Folks,

If we do have a challenge, it will probably be in May (Sometimes the April challenge comes in May).  

- Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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Steven
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Quoted from Don
Hi Folks,

If we do have a challenge, it will probably be in May (Sometimes the April challenge comes in May).  

- Don


Sounds good. Let's hope everyone follows the rules this time around!
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FrankM
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Quoted from Don
Hi Folks,

If we do have a challenge, it will probably be in May (Sometimes the April challenge comes in May).  

- Don


Definitely interested, and hoping the parameters work out to be something I can actually write. (So, please Dan not a horror musical.)


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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DanC
Posted: April 25th, 2018, 4:23pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM


Definitely interested, and hoping the parameters work out to be something I can actually write. (So, please Dan not a horror musical.)


But but horrisacal  sounds amazing.  Horror musical about zombie vampire gay star trek who burst into song randomly doesn't float your boat??

Dan


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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FrankM
Posted: April 25th, 2018, 5:44pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DanC
But but horrisacal  sounds amazing.  Horror musical about zombie vampire gay star trek who burst into song randomly doesn't float your boat??

Dan


Take out the zombie bit, and we might be able to get a Phantom of the Space Opera thing going here.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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LC
Posted: April 25th, 2018, 8:42pm Report to Moderator
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Dave and Paul, how's it going?



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PKCardinal
Posted: April 26th, 2018, 11:37am Report to Moderator
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It's going.

It's been a real interesting exercise this week. Without going into too much detail, with so many parameters settled, it's been difficult to connect in a personal way to my script. Not a lot of creative choices left to the writer.

Not complaining, mind you. Just saying, it's been a challenging week.

But, then, I suppose that was the point! Last round isn't supposed to be easy.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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FrankM
Posted: April 26th, 2018, 1:03pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal
It's going.

It's been a real interesting exercise this week. Without going into too much detail, with so many parameters settled, it's been difficult to connect in a personal way to my script. Not a lot of creative choices left to the writer.

Not complaining, mind you. Just saying, it's been a challenging week.

But, then, I suppose that was the point! Last round isn't supposed to be easy.


Seems like it'd simulate being called in to rescue a script that had gone off the rails in development. Possibly a sequel and/or a meddling producer so there are lots of constraints.

"He wants this scene to be happier."
"It's an execution."
"Just make it happen."


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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eldave1
Posted: April 26th, 2018, 1:12pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


Sounds good. Let's hope everyone follows the rules this time around!


Stop already


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
Posted: April 26th, 2018, 1:14pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
Dave and Paul, how's it going?



Thanks for asking.

Paul's "interesting" and "challenging" are kind terms .

I just submitted mine.  I am crammed tomorrow so really out of time.  It's now or never (Elvis).





My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Steven
Posted: April 26th, 2018, 4:20pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1


Stop already


If there was a salt shaker emoji here i'd use it.
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PKCardinal
Posted: April 26th, 2018, 5:08pm Report to Moderator
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This week's challenge definitely simulates coming into an existing project. That's the mindset I've tried to take through the week.

I haven't had any time to work on the script in the last few days, so it'll come down to whether I can get a good enough polish on it tomorrow.

We'll see.

I'll probably submit early evening tomorrow.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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DanC
Posted: April 26th, 2018, 10:17pm Report to Moderator
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Don, if you allow me to run this,I won't vanish.  I've been pretty active for the last few months and feel its time to step up.


Please read my scripts:
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1427564706/

I'm interested in reading animation, horror, sci fy, suspense, fantasy, and anything that is good.  I enjoy writing the same.  Looking to team with anyone!

Thanks
Dan
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khamanna
Posted: April 27th, 2018, 11:57am Report to Moderator
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11 hours to go and I'm way too curious to see what Sean's 5 W's are.
A possible scenario, taken from an actual movie called Knocking on Heaven's Door (Germany)

Who - Two guys
What - make a pact to go someplace fun
When - before they die
Why - because they are dying
Where - don't know what this means. they make a pact in a hospital, but the movie is a road trip. And they go to a seaside. So "where" could be each of the three.

I guess "where" should be in a car as there's how. How did they break from the hospital to get where they are going? That's what the two finalists might be writing about.
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PKCardinal
Posted: April 27th, 2018, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
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Okey dokey. Done and submitted for your review.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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LC
Posted: April 27th, 2018, 6:29pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the nifty example, Kham.

Four and a half hours to go.
Looking forward to it.


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eldave1
Posted: April 27th, 2018, 7:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from khamanna
11 hours to go and I'm way too curious to see what Sean's 5 W's are.
A possible scenario, taken from an actual movie called Knocking on Heaven's Door (Germany)

Who - Two guys
What - make a pact to go someplace fun
When - before they die
Why - because they are dying
Where - don't know what this means. they make a pact in a hospital, but the movie is a road trip. And they go to a seaside. So "where" could be each of the three.



You were very close, Kham:

Who - Two guys
What - Have to write a short script.
When - before April 28th.
Why - Something about an effing mug.
Where - A Forum.




My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
Posted: April 27th, 2018, 7:01pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PKCardinal
Okey dokey. Done and submitted for your review.


Best of luck, mate. I know this was a toughie for both of us.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Don
Posted: April 27th, 2018, 8:06pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Quoted from eldave1


You were very close, Kham:

Who - Two guys
What - Have to write a short script.
When - before April 28th.
Why - Something about an effing mug.
Where - A Forum.




There is a mug involved?  

- Don


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
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Gary in Houston
Posted: April 27th, 2018, 8:09pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Don


There is a mug involved?  

- Don


I was hoping for the SS thong this time around.


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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eldave1
Posted: April 27th, 2018, 8:17pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Don


There is a mug involved?  

- Don


Perhaps a Mug Shot


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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PKCardinal
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Quoted from eldave1


Best of luck, mate. I know this was a toughie for both of us.


You, too.

Can’t wait to see how you make this script yours. I know it’ll be great.


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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LC
Posted: April 27th, 2018, 11:49pm Report to Moderator
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Posted early. Thanks Don!

I've read both entries.
Good work, you two.
Comments will follow after I've done groceries. Hungry husband. Typical.

Just wanted to acknowledge the work, given there's not much action on the boards at the mo'.

P.S. The what's and whys and whozits etcetera are pretty obvious.


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Warren
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 1:54am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Well done guys, I've read both scripts and they are both great pieces in their own right.

The similarities, which clearly make up the criteria, are obvious enough. If anyone 'broke' the rules it would be hard to say.

I do have a favourite, but that's not saying the person who is second in my books has done a bad job in any way.

Congrats to you both. You should both be very proud of what you've achieved.


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khamanna
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 6:47am Report to Moderator
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Woah, just read both scripts and thinking Sean really went full Monti with this round.
Haha, what a criteria.
Loved the second amendment requirement, but the female president and her ex-husband being a hitman/her savior - wow, Sean.

The writers clearly did a very good job here. I'm very impressed with what I read. Two fine scripts.
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khamanna
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 6:48am Report to Moderator
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Can we discuss what criteria was, by the way?
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 9:16am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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You can discuss it and see if you nailed it down.


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SAC
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 10:11am Report to Moderator
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Are we not supposed to be leaving comments on the scripts? Did I miss something?


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 10:44am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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There's nothing stopping you. Some people like to grade based on the content of the script, others like to grade based on how closely it followed the rules while others don't like to let their scores be influenced by others. It's all about personal preference.


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ajr
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 4:32pm Report to Moderator
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WHO: the first female President
WHAT: Assassination attempt which her husband must prevent
WHERE: Metropolitan Museum of Art
WHEN: 2028
WHY: The repeal of the 2nd Amendment

Or a close approximation.  Pretty wicked idea.

I liked one treatment much better than the other. Nice job by both writers getting this far, and getting a cohesive story around these parameters.


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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FrankM
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 4:58pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from ajr
WHO: the first female President
WHAT: Assassination attempt which her husband must prevent
WHERE: Metropolitan Museum of Art
WHEN: 2028
WHY: The repeal of the 2nd Amendment

Or a close approximation.  Pretty wicked idea.

I liked one treatment much better than the other. Nice job by both writers getting this far, and getting a cohesive story around these parameters.


No, it's just a woman runs into her former husband at MoMA in 2028.

Any other similarity in the stories is coincidental


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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ajr
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 5:24pm Report to Moderator
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Not the writers' fault so more of a question for Sean - if you're awaiting election results, are you really the guest of honor at a gathering at the MOMA? Just wondering.


Click HERE to read JOHN LENNON'S HEAVEN https://preview.tinyurl.com/John-Lennon-s-Heaven-110-pgs/
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khamanna
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 5:43pm Report to Moderator
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I think the where criteria was a major art museum in NY, not necessarily MoMA.
When - last ellection day (possibly they were asked to skip this president term and next only)
who - a future female president and her ex-husband. He's a hitman with shady past.
what - he has to be her guard and save her.
why - love

now I have no idea how 2nd amendment fits into 5 W's.
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khamanna
Posted: April 28th, 2018, 6:03pm Report to Moderator
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I got it - they were asked to go with the next republican president-to-be/female/anti-gun.

I won't believe that Sean is so simple as to tell them the exact year.
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LC
Posted: April 29th, 2018, 2:03am Report to Moderator
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Okay, I'm reviewing the second now.

There's a parameter re ex-hubby (in the service) presumed dead, or comes back from the dead, right?

'Control' just got a bit out there... In a good way, mind you.

Writer: John McClane lives on.



Revision History (1 edits)
LC  -  April 29th, 2018, 2:41am
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LC
Posted: April 29th, 2018, 8:48am Report to Moderator
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Yes, Steve. You should post comments.

Where are all the other reviewers? Seems everyone's clammed up.


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eldave1
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Quoted from LC
Yes, Steve. You should post comments.

Where are all the other reviewers? Seems everyone's clammed up.


Yes - tis eerily quiet.

Although I kind of expected as much. This thread itself has only about a third of the folks weighing in who normally do.  Nature of the beast I think.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Stumpzian
Posted: April 29th, 2018, 11:23am Report to Moderator
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I've read them both (one four times) but haven't felt ready to comment. I do know which one I'm voting for.
Excellent job by both writers.



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khamanna
Posted: April 29th, 2018, 4:51pm Report to Moderator
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Right now both scripts got an equal amount of positive and negative critique so I better not ruin the equilibrium there with my comments.
I do have a preference and going to vote Excellent for one and VG for the other.

The writers behind both scripts are pretty obvious to me, but no guessing until the voting is closed I suppose.

I haven't received the scorecard yet - just letting know)
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LC
Posted: April 29th, 2018, 7:11pm Report to Moderator
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I've not indicated in my review which entry I prefer. And I don't think you can tell... I enjoyed them both for different reasons.

Surely you guys can leave comments without saying: I like this one better, I give it a score of X. It's not compulsory you make that known.

Nice to see some action on the threads now. More please...

If a lot of you are going to stay mum, I wonder how long to vote?

And why have the script heading shortcuts for the Championship round disappeared from the main page? Hmm, maybe to make way for some other announcement...


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JEStaats
Posted: April 29th, 2018, 7:11pm Report to Moderator
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No sh*t, there I was....

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Just read the entries and both are very worthy of the finals. Great job by both finalists. Not sure I could dream up a scenario with all the requirements (I think shiny black limo had to be in there, too).

Hats off to both of you!
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DustinBowcot
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 1:47am Report to Moderator
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Why shouldn't we make it known which one we prefer? It was this silliness that slowed the reads.

People shouldn't be afraid of others copying their reviews. This is all the wrong way around. People should just have their own opinion, no matter what. Even if it's against the grain. Especially if it's against the grain.

Just stop being scared to think what you really think. Even if you think it might make you look stupid, do it anyway. Just be you.
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LC
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 4:02am Report to Moderator
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Why do you suppose Dustin, that people are not commenting and leaving feedback?

I think you make some valid points btw.


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DustinBowcot
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 4:51am Report to Moderator
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For one thing, people are lazy and only pick up on keywords, to which they develop an opinion and then move on.

So, all the talk of reviews creating bias and the desire to do something about it has caused crossed wires. Especially with Dave and PKC not commenting, this sends a message to the others... purely because they don't look deep enough to see that Dave and PKs reasons for not commenting are because they are the writers of the scripts.

It's all keywords and lazy reading. Writers are the laziest readers in the business.
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khamanna
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 5:06am Report to Moderator
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talking about lazy reading...

Dustin, first five of Infringe were a drag for me too. I dare you finish it and not change your opinion on it.
Your call but I'm sticking to my gut - you'll think different after you read it in full.
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CameronD
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 10:01am Report to Moderator
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How long to vote? I've been slammed past few weeks but want to get both of these in before deadline closes.  


http://www.TheFilmBox.org Movie reviews, news, and fun!
http://www.screenplaywritenow.com Write a screenplay. Write. Now.
http://www.SchismSEO.com Separate from your competition. Affordable SEO services
http://www.MyEasyGifter.com Because nobody likes receiving gift cards
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Gary in Houston
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 10:52am Report to Moderator
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I’ve read both, just haven’t formulated my comments yet.  Good job by both writers in creating these very different worlds but using the exact same parameters. I know I would not have been able to pull that off with the dexterity they displayed, so kudos to Dave and Paul.

As a side note, I will say that even though Paul is new to the site, he has been a great addition to the SS community and he has jumped right in feet first in participating and commenting, so (if I had one), a tip of the old SS writer’s mug to you, sir.

Gary


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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MarkItZero
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 11:12am Report to Moderator
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Same here. I read them but was busy and couldn't get around to commenting. Will try later today.


That rug really tied the room together.
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FrankM
Posted: April 30th, 2018, 2:22pm Report to Moderator
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Both writers did a great job within the apparent constraints, though I'm curious exactly how they were phrased.

Article V of the U.S. Constitution lays out how the Constitution can be changed, and an Amendment can only be repealed by passing a later Amendment (such as the 21st repealing the 18th). Some day there could be an Amendment that modifies that process, but there's no mention of that happening before the events of these scripts.

The Article V process gives the President no role whatsoever in ratifying Amendments. In particular, the 22nd Amendment was passed over the objections of the President.

That said, the President does have the Bully Pulpit, so having her on board would significantly increase the odds of ratifying a 28th Amendment.

But what does killing her on election night accomplish? For arcane reasons, a person is not officially the President-Elect until December 13. The electoral votes she won would simply be cast for someone else (probably, but not necessarily, her running mate), and the action would only make a new Amendment even more likely.

By the end of both scripts, the woman becoming President fears that someone (though probably not Oprah) would want her harmed... but it's not rational for serious opponents to actually try to harm her unless they think her personal charisma is what's going to drive ratification.

SPOILERS

This might be why one writer has it all in her head, and the other has the plan masterminded by a couple nincompoops.

END SPOILERS

For a such a strict set of constraints, I'm surprised at how different the scripts came out. Kudos to both working under difficult circumstances.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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