Looks like an interesting tale. The writing was solid IMO

Thank you so much, Dave.
It is always a honour and a bless hearing from you, my friend.

Best regards,

Pedro

No problem - best of luck with this

Hey,

I read the first ten pages... Just so you have an idea what questions popped into my head after reading the premise. Would the descriptions of the characters description in the premise, which I liked, come across in the description, dialogue and actions of the character?

I think the only character that came across was the hitman, while all reacted to Tammy and the gun only Iron and Luis showed character, IMO. Once inside the hitman admired a gun. But what about Leo how do I know he's a professor and how do I know Candy is stripper? Her name is Candy but I only know that because the script says so where in the story does it show.

Anyway, good luck on this.

BLB.

Quoted from Busy Little Bee Hey, I read the first ten pages... Just so you have an idea what questions popped into my head after reading the premise. Would the descriptions of the characters description in the premise, which I liked, come across in the description, dialogue and actions of the character? I think the only character that came across was the hitman, while all reacted to Tammy and the gun only Iron and Luis showed character, IMO. Once inside the hitman admired a gun. But what about Leo how do I know he's a professor and how do I know Candy is stripper? Her name is Candy but I only know that because the script says so where in the story does it show. Anyway, good luck on this. BLB.

Hey my friend,


sorry for the late response. I've been traveling a lot and came now to a little bit of spare time to review your wonderful comment and reply.

First of all, thank you. very much for taking the time and reading my excerpt.
The excerpt is right of the middle of the story, so that there has been plenty actions and information that supplied a deeper understanding of the plot and the character.
Luis and the professor met each other in Luis's college and went after that to different places to gather Iron and Candy.

The group and their dialogs work on two elements: tension and missing trust, so that each one of them has to find his own way to open himself up to the group and express himself. A task that goes often wrong.

cheeky sayings and a broken past is what bonds them together and makes this four people to a fucked-up, but loveable team.

The task of the viewer is to look behind the sayings and recognising the true emotions and values of each one of them. At the end all are striving after more than pure wealth and revenge. At the end is everything about salvation.

Cheers,

Pedro