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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  New Dawn Moderators: bert
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  Author    New Dawn  (currently 2069 views)
Don
Posted: January 20th, 2004, 10:06pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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New Dawn Episode 101 by R. E. Freak - Sci Fi - World War Three is over. The conflict has extended to the stars, raging between two governments, NEW and NEO. As NEO remains idle at the outer reaches of the galaxy waiting for their time to strike, NEW prepares a counteroffensive. Meanwhile a lone cruiser, the Dellador, drifts through space  thousands of miles from Earth, but only a fraction of that distance from Dantolarri, NEO's first target in a campaign that will take them to Earth. - html* format.

New Dawn Episode 102 Eternal Eclipse by R. E. Freak - Sci Fi - As NEO makes their move against Dantolarri the Dellador, powerless to assist, flees to the nearby planet of Polot to await word from the fleet. Meanwhile the fleet breaks orbit around Lilid and sets a course for Dantolarri, but even their fastest ships could not possibly hope to make it in time. - html* format.


New Dawn Episode 103 Neo Rise by R. E. Freak - Sci Fi - In the second of a series of strikes NEO attacks Polot. In the midst of the chaos the Dellador barely manages to escape, suffering massive damage and casualties. Meanwhile the rebel forces are gathering for something big, returning to their home colony of Mad World. The NEW fleet stationed around Coll can only watch the conflict occurring in the outer reaches of the galaxy. However, sooner than they think, the battle will come close enough for them to truly understand the futility of fighting. - html* format.



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Pii
Posted: January 21st, 2004, 4:43am Report to Moderator
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New virtual series? Interesting.

R. E. Freak: How often do you intend to release episodes and how many? Do you have a plan.

I haven't read it yet, but I plan to.


The act of writing is a quest to put a hundred thousand words to a cunning order.
- Douglas Adams
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R.E._Freak
Posted: January 21st, 2004, 12:05pm Report to Moderator
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I'm on my 20th episode right now. I'm thinking of releasing one every week. I planned for between thirty and forty episodes, just depends how fast I manage to wrap everything up. I just wanted to get way ahead so if I have a few bad weeks I still have episodes to release.
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Pii
Posted: January 22nd, 2004, 10:13am Report to Moderator
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Sounds like an admirable plan. I haven't read it yet, but I will today and I'll review it to the next Voice Over.


The act of writing is a quest to put a hundred thousand words to a cunning order.
- Douglas Adams
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R.E._Freak
Posted: January 22nd, 2004, 11:57am Report to Moderator
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Cool.
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FadedBlueEyes
Posted: February 7th, 2004, 11:17pm Report to Moderator
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Hmm very Gundamish intro. I like how it has a very WWII movie feel set in the future.
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FadedBlueEyes
Posted: March 1st, 2004, 12:40pm Report to Moderator
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Just read the second one.

A few suggestions. Maybe change the names NEO and NEW can get confusing. Also maybe label more of the ships like you do the crew, that also gets confusing. And a little recap at the beggining of the episodes wouldn't hurt.

Otherwise I like it alot the third group raises some questions. The action is intense and great.
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R.E._Freak
Posted: March 1st, 2004, 1:58pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the suggestions. I'll play around with it a bit, see what I come up with.
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R.E._Freak
Posted: March 3rd, 2004, 1:10pm Report to Moderator
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To the two people who read this, don't be expecting any episodes for a while. I'm rewriting them, changing the format, that sort of thing. And I've removed 99% of those damn beats I put in for some reason that is completely beyond me. Some more character development and less pointless carnage and blood shed. Maybe some semi-permanent secondary characters as well, rather than just cannon fodder. If anyone else has anything else you thought could use some work, just post it and I'll take it all into consideration.
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: March 15th, 2004, 1:12pm Report to Moderator
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Okay, you have nothing to worry about if this was easy to come up with and write because it's very readable and entertaining to read


Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
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