Age of the Dead by Robby Henderson - Horror - A group of kids and Young adults must fight the dead to survive the zombies taking over the world. - rtf, format

Hey, i guess im the first to read this, and write a comment. Ill write as i read, so yeah..

Okay just the first page, there a re A LOT of simple spelling mistakes. Like collage-college, agian-again, i'm- I'm, umm plage-plauge i think lol, and lieing-lying. Not too major.

On the first page, it doesn't quite work for me that Sam's girlfriend hannah tells him to turn the t.v to the news, and he just says ok and hangs up. Wouldn't he ask why, or chat longer?

Oh yeah btw, what's up with you and numbering scnes. You don't have to, and you don't have to keep saying the DARK or DAY when you write the scene header. You just say DARK if it changes from day to dark, so you dont have to keep repeating day, day, day....make sense?

I'm sorry but the scene where they see a zombie in the girl's dorm doesn't work too well for me. The professor kicks a zombie's head off? Isn't that kind of impossible, especially for a professor. My legs are pretty strong because I play soccer, but I don't think I could even kick a zombie's head off. Lol

Okay, I'm beginning to think this is a comdey instead of a horror. Angie carries Aaron on her back, like a piggy-back ride, and Hanna whacks a zombie's head off with a baseball bat. Is she superwoman or something?

Okay, this was a short, and dull read. A lot of spelling grammar that's wrong and a lot of other mistakes. A boyfriend shoots his girl friend, then another boyfriend shoots his girl friend. Girls with super human powers. SToppin in the road to pick up a suit case, and others.

You should work on some more scripts and drafts before you send a nother one in. But, the formatting is pretty good, just work on the realness of the script.

Hope this helps,

Blake

I agree with Blake. Its not great. I think that you can see the action bits in your head as they do stick out in films but there has to be more too it than that. Having said that your having a go and thats great. Read as many screenplays as you can on this site. Read the reviews and comments. Its a great teaching resourse and will help you. Keep going.

This script really needs some work. Your formatting isn't super bad or anything, but its not right. And when the news guy says stuff about the Zombies at the start, it happens to fast. He just says it. Its not very 'real'.

Not much more to say that Blake hasn't already said...work on formatting and everything else, really. Keep it up, though, and you'll be great.

-Landon

I hope that you sort of like it.

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Script that I have wriiten:

School of the dead
The Reaper
Age of the dead
The Christmas Massacre

WRITTING: Final Destination 4&5

Also, one more thing to add:

Your log line is kinda...."fight the DEAD to survive the ZOMBIES taking over the world"

Aren't those two things that I put in CAPS the same thing...

I am a huge fan of zombie scripts, I have written a few, and this script-no offense-puts them to disgrace. It is badly written, not much thought put into it, lots of spelling mistakes, and not very real. The formatting is decent, needs more work and a little longer otherwise it is good.

Quoted from robb_blaze014 I REALLY want this script made into to a movie by ROMERO

The only way that's going to happen is if you've got a gun to his head, and even then he'll probably read your script and say "pull the trigger".

It's not a good sign when a reader stops after 2 pages. It was really, really bad. The writing was very poor and naive, the formatting showed a lack of knowledge, the dialogue was cliched and not real at all, and the story was laughable.

But don't give up.

Read more scripts. Back to the drawing board.

Quoted from FilmMaker06 Also, one more thing to add: Your log line is kinda...."fight the DEAD to survive the ZOMBIES taking over the world" Aren't those two things that I put in CAPS the same thing...

Actually, you should be more concerned with writing a logline tthat separates your zombie script from other zombie scripts.  If you can't come up with something it, you've already lost the war.


Phil

Well, I agree with a few other people on here, about the spelling mistakes etc but you got to think about how to make it seem more connvincing on why the kids would be okay with what is going on around them. And the part in the beginning when one of them shouts out hey! and the teacher says they can go with him? bit too funny dude, I agree, more of a comedy.

But you got the heart to keep writing, that's all that matters, everyone writes scripts other people think are rubbish, you got to prove they are not. keep up the work.