The Mystery of Simply Scripts by Andrew Roby - Short, Thriller - Don has been murdered and the murderer is on the loose. It is up for the two heroic men, Andrew Romance and Bert, to save the day and stop all the evil. Featuring over 10 people from the Simply Scripts gang. With a twist you will never forget. - html, format

It was funny, yes, but thetr were a few things I didn't understand.
-Why didn't they  like Andy? Why did they dump her with Alan?
Okay, that's it. And you're right. There was a twist ending. A good twist. But the thing is, this is exactly like all the other Smiplycript gang scripts. Simplynoir, Smiplyscripts vs Giant Monster. And that western with HElio in it. But the thing that sets this apart is the ending. I honestly didn't see it coming, which  is a good thing for a comedy. But it follows the same formula again-Don dies, Wesley  and others try to find out who did it. It's kinda repedtive.

I tried my best to make is stand out from the others. Thanks for taking your time and reading it.

I will answer all questions (including yours) once everyone had a look at it. Maybe even someone else will answer it.  


Andrew

Don't get me worng-It was still good, it made me laugh. So it succeeded.

Out of 10 stars I would give this 8. I took of two stars because it does fallow the same path of the other simplyscript movies. Anyway, this was pretty good. It was an easy read and over all pretty funny.

Good writing!

As I'm starting to read, I think I know who wrote Triplut...Andrew, really need to change that title tag in your html files...

I don't know where that came from. Haha. But that is not the title tag i gave it.

Quoted from -Ben- But the thing is, this is exactly like all the other Smiplycript gang scripts. Simplynoir, Smiplyscripts vs Giant Monster. But it follows the same formula again-Don dies, Wesley  and others try to find out who did it. It's kinda repedtive.

I find that kind of odd since SS vs. GM didn't follow that formula at all, and I didn't think That Time I Saved The World did either.


I read it, and I laughed a few times, so I'd say Mission Accomplished Andrew, since that's the whole basis of these scripts anyway.

Good Job

Well, I read it.

Sorry, Andrew, but it just wasn't all that funny to me. I found some stuff that was amusing, but it just felt forced. Some of the jokes were just random with no setup (such as the E.T. thing), so only if I were 'in' would I get it. Naturally I got the 'I like cheese' thing you had me do, but it came out of no where and disappeared into the same place...kind of like my character did. Bert said inferno clearly referring to the 'in' joke that was referenced a few times here and there, but again, it wasn't funny because it had no setup. I also suspect Topher's final line was another 'in' joke since it had no setup as well. It did have a twist, but it really fell flat for me.

Sorry, but with all the incredible spoofs we've had around here lately, this one came no where close to the quality of them. As a standalone, it wasn't that great either. It felt like a random set of tableaus created for the sole purpose of reminding a select set of people OF jokes as opposed to creating its own humor. What has made the other scripts work is seeing how we think our co-horts around here would function in a given humorous situation. The jokes are simply a by-product of the drama.

Perhaps a rewrite is in order.

I found the script funny and amusing at some points, but I did found it fun to read. I agree with George Willson, the twist ending fell flat.

My character didn't have any lines, but I was mentioned

Jack Black was too cool in this. The turning into King Kong was a little random though. Andy got a pretty bad rap in this. I don't understand why no one liked her aside from her having a vomit covered t-shirt.

Otherwise, this was a good read. The ending was cool and set it apart from the other SS scripts. Good stuff.

Hehe

I read this and I did laugh a few times I gotta be honest..

Yeah maybe this script needs developing more with some stuff George has pointed out but I reckon this script was written really fast as a last minute thing..

It reads at a really fast pace, amazing to create a rapid tempo like that, cor, had me spinning..

The story was okay and we all know the characters and I reckon in the spirit of in jokes this script did capture some funny moments about the characters on SimplyScripts..

Like George said, with anoher re-write, make it a little less rapid, slow it down a tad, this could be really good..

I expect this was written for a laugh and that's how I read it with that in mind so me thinks it works on that level..

Like I said, pretty good for a larf..

Kevan

I really enjoyed this and not just for the fact that I was in it. It was entertaining and had me laughing. The only obvious and major problem has already been mentioned before, your pacing could use some work, everything seemed rushed.

Good job

-Zavier  

I know this was written for a laugh, and I can appreciate that, but when you look at some of the other spoofs we have, they did more with the material than just the laughs.

With SimplyNoir, some of the situations are relatively funny whether you know the people or not. They are made funnier when you see who is being hit and that inside humor is being layered on top of what's already there.

I sent Andrew my comments when I was one of the first people to read it even before it was here... Ha

I did say he should flesh it out a bit but as it is I thought it was pretty readable and has some value as one of the originals.

We're just getting the hang of what goes on with this "fun" concept so give him and others a chance to let it sink in. Trust me, in time Simply Noir will look like A Uwe Boll film compared to what you guys do with this idea in the future.

Infant stages people, that's the key.