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Hi Roger. You sure submitted a lot of scripts on here haha. Well anyway. Its/ weird. My guess would be Topher. Haha. It was alright though. I'm sure there are better and im sure there are worse. Good try.
This was quite an odd script. I couldn't tell what was going on from the start. Someone fires a gun and then these two are kissing. The namecalling was somewhat amusing but still made it somewhat harder to understand what was going on. I don't know what else to say. Not good, not bad, just weird.
I found this to be quite confusing. You should develop your storyline a bit more; I feel there is a meaning to this but part of it remained stuck in your mind and couldn´t make it to the page.
I think the funniest part of all, is the fact that you had trouble submitting the script without all the pages attached.
You say darkness in the beginning. That makes me think black screen, but somehow we can still see a figure that jumps on top?
I agree with the woman, that corpse thing was a bit much. I was with you there in the beginning, but that comment stopped me dead in my tracks. (pun intended, a little).
"BAM! The lights explode on." Do lights really make loud noise when they come on?
I'm surprised at the "collection" of typos in this script.
The guy shooting was never explained. I don't get who's shooting at him.
Just as the action was hotting up, nice sexy banter there, you cut to a random gift giving scene.... okay..... Now, I'm all for randomness, when it works, but this just kind of felt like a really awkward moment... But then, if that's what you were aiming for, then great!! LOL.
Odd, sexually fun, but too random for me. Good effort though.
I liked how this one started out. You set the scene very well at the beginning, but there isn't much of a story here. I felt like I was missing something. A couple on their honeymoon talk trash to each other, a guy shows up with a wedding gift then gets shot up by some random people. It doesn't make a lot of sense. The writing is pretty good though.
Loved it! I fell in love with Helen (so I felt emotionally for her character and hoped that the gunman wouldn't do something to her, does that make me weird?) ^^ Funny ending.