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Slice by Chris Reid - Short, Horror - Four young citizens want to investigate a brutal murder scene from a year ago. Trouble occurs when they run in to the wrong person in the woods. Slice is a movie you'll "half" to read. 13 pages - doc, format
Sorry buddy. I started to read and found no scene discription then no introduction to your characters. I would recommend you go back and set the scene with some description, action, and intro to your characters.
You have no scene description or character introduction for the first two pages, the story is very cliche and does not stay consistant to what the character should do. The death scene where he cut off all his fingers, toes, and cut him, would take a long time to execute on film, and the dialogue was pretty poor. This just is not a very good effort.
"Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd" - George Carlin "I have to sign before you shoot me?" - Navin Johnson "It'll take time to restore chaos" - George W. Bush "Harry, I love you!" - Ben Affleck "What are you looking at, sugar t*ts?" - The man without a face "Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death." - Exodus 31:15 "No one ever expects The Spanish Inquisition!" - The Spanish Inquisition "Matt Damon" - Matt Damon
but like they say, if you can't say anything nice.........
Brion
- I would suggest reading other scripts online and seeing how they are formatted and written just to give you an idea of what you have to work on with your next project -
Wow. Not only did the author of this script have the same as me but he set the script in a place called Hidden Valley, and no $hit, my parents are going to an auction next week to try and buy a house in Hidden Valley. How freaky is that?
Anyway, there wasn't much of a story line here; we had teenagers going into the woods and getting butchered by a mute guy in a mask. The line about the guy ending up passed out behind the donut shop was funny, but the rest of the script was ludicrous because of all the on the nose dialogue. One way to test out your dialogue is to read it out loud so you can hear if it works or not.