Pages: 1 |
Author |
Battle Frogs (currently 826 views) |
| SimplyScripts |
| Posted: July 24th, 2006, 8:26pm |
 |
|
AdministratorAdministrator  So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts5529 Posts Per Day 1.67 |
Battle Frogs: Operation Desert Skullf*ck by Dave Hitler - Comedy, Farce - Lance and Dwayne are two ordinary karate champions, but their world is turned upsidedown when Bin Laden kidnaps the president and their girlfriend and turns Lance and Dwayne into awesome frogs. Can the Battle Frogs beat up Al Queada, save their girlfriend, and stop Bin Laden from unleashing his evil plan(s)? 60 pages (caution - strong language) - html, format  |
| |
|
| Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown) |
| bert - July 25th, 2006, 7:50am | | |
|
Logged |
|
|
|
|
|
| bert |
| Posted: July 24th, 2006, 9:12pm |
 |
|
Board Moderator
LocationThat's me in the corner Posts3074 Posts Per Day 1.75 |
You know, I tried to give this an honest look. I did. The title had a certain something. Within the first coupla' pages:
I shrugged off the subtitle that reads "2001 - The Future".
I frowned at the vulgar and juvenile segment with a character known only as "Girlfriend", but slogged ahead, ceding to the author's artistic license.
Then I came to this segment of dialogue:
PRESIDENT Lets just say (some dorky line meant to back up his claim)
BIN LADEN (offscreen) (Some witty pun that undercuts the president's line.) (EDIT) STUFF GOES HERE
What is this -- Mad Libs?
Don is knocking himself out trying to keep up with script submissions and you give him this?
Please try a little harder next time. |
| Coming Soon(ish)...
"One more SOUL to lay bare... One more SHADOW to share"
The Soul-Shattering Season Finale... The episode you've been waiting for...an episode called...TANIS |
|
Logged |
|
|
 |
Reply: 1 - 8 |
|
|
| dogglebe |
| Posted: July 24th, 2006, 9:48pm |
 |
|
Blue  I'm only living out a lie!
LocationNew York Posts5002 Posts Per Day 2.56 |
I took a look at this because of the title. It sounds like something Balt would come up with.
I couldn't get past the karate tournament. It was so ridiculous that I believe the writer knows absolutely nothing about martial arts or MA competitions.
Phil |
| |
|
Logged |
|
|
 |
Reply: 2 - 8 |
|
|
| bert |
| Posted: July 24th, 2006, 9:59pm |
 |
|
Board Moderator
LocationThat's me in the corner Posts3074 Posts Per Day 1.75 |
You know, I wasn't gonna mention this one -- but the more I thought about it, the more it kinda' ticked me off.
Here is another segment I wasn't too crazy about:
--------------------------------------------
EXT. WORLD TRADE CENTER # 2 - 9:03 AM
A jet plane smashes into WTC2. LOL.
--------------------------------------------
LOL? |
| Coming Soon(ish)...
"One more SOUL to lay bare... One more SHADOW to share"
The Soul-Shattering Season Finale... The episode you've been waiting for...an episode called...TANIS |
|
Logged |
|
|
 |
Reply: 3 - 8 |
|
|
| Greg |
| Posted: July 24th, 2006, 10:00pm |
 |
|
Yellow 
LocationSan Diego, California Posts1329 Posts Per Day 0.76 |
--------------------------------------------
EXT. WORLD TRADE CENTER # 2 - 9:03 AM
A jet plane smashes into WTC2. LOL.
--------------------------------------------
LOL?
|
The author's name is Hitler. Go figure. I can't figure out if the STFU in the locker room is an abbreviation or he's supposed to be saying that to be funny. I'm confused. |
| "Be Excellent to Each Other" -Bill S. Preston Esq.
Any Major Dude - Family Comedy, 108 Pages. 13 year old filmmakers, 15 minute "blockbusters", Planet of the Apes From Another Planet, wedgies, pantsing, Rick Rolling, pork skins, going commando, and a Bible book report. Man, 7th grade is tough. |
|
Logged |
|
|
 |
Reply: 4 - 8 |
|
|
| dogglebe |
| Posted: July 24th, 2006, 10:04pm |
 |
|
Blue  I'm only living out a lie!
LocationNew York Posts5002 Posts Per Day 2.56 |
EXT. WORLD TRADE CENTER # 2 - 9:03 AM
A jet plane smashes into WTC2. LOL.
|
Pretty fuc king tasteless. Can this script be deleted or locked for this reason? Phil |
| |
|
Logged |
|
|
 |
Reply: 5 - 8 |
|
|
|
| Breanne Mattson |
| Posted: July 25th, 2006, 2:53pm |
 |
|
LocationSalem, OR Posts1070 Posts Per Day 0.66 |
I too was unable to finish reading this vulgar piece of tripe. The sex scene with the girlfriend reads like a penthouse forum letter from a teenager trying to sound sexually “experienced” when anyone can plainly see it’s just some teen talking about something he knows nothing about. Not only is it obvious that this writer hates females, it’s plainly obvious he doesn’t even know anything about females.
It’s like this was written by a kid who saw his first porn yesterday and started puberty the day before.
It’s also plainly transparent that this author is attempting to come off with the same vibe of Team America.
This vulgar, obnoxious timewaster doesn’t even have humor to redeem it in any way. A comedy has to be funny. Vulgar misogynistic and immature sex fantasies aren’t funny.
I give this a bomb rating. Pitiful.
|
| Breanne’s IMDb Page
It’s better to have confused viewers who want to know what’s going on than well informed viewers who don’t care.
|
|
| Revision History (1 edits) |
| |
|
Logged |
|
|
 |
Reply: 6 - 8 |
|
|
| The boy who could fly |
| Posted: July 25th, 2006, 3:00pm |
 |
|
Yellow 
LocationBritish Columbia, Canada Posts1279 Posts Per Day 0.87 |
well with a title like that how could anyone resist. this is how far I got. BOLO Oh yeah, I forgot, you guys are brothers. How come one of you is white then? Is you mom's cunt like half white and half chinese or something? LANCE STFU, okay. BOLO Or does her cunt make chinese babies and her A** make white babies? Good work  |
| |
|
Logged |
|
|
 |
Reply: 7 - 8 |
|
|
| dogglebe |
| Posted: July 25th, 2006, 6:22pm |
 |
|
Blue  I'm only living out a lie!
LocationNew York Posts5002 Posts Per Day 2.56 |
I too was unable to finish reading this vulgar piece of tripe. The sex scene with the girlfriend reads like a penthouse forum letter from a teenager trying to sound sexually “experienced” when anyone can plainly see it’s just some teen talking about something he knows nothing about. Not only is it obvious that this writer hates females, it’s plainly obvious he doesn’t even know anything about females. |
Maybe it's a sequel to The Cabin. Does anybody know if this guy posts here at all? Phil +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I Apologize for hijacking Phil's post, but I didn't want to bump this thread up. Locking it. I think that "Dave" has probably gotten as much out of the discussion as he is going to. Don |
| |
|
| Revision History (1 edits) |
| |
|
Logged |
|
|
 |
Reply: 8 - 8 |
|
Pages: 1 |