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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama Scripts  ›  My Lai Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: July 24th, 2006, 8:28pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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My Lai by Ron Gannon - Drama, War - History doomed to repeat itself.  Taken from reports and government documents, this story tells what happened at My Lai and the aftermaths.  90 pages - pdf, format


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Breanne Mattson
Posted: July 24th, 2006, 8:51pm Report to Moderator
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I donít know what the problem is here but every time I try to open this script, it locks my computer up. Once, it opened up but half the pages were missing.

Also, is this author around to respond to criticism? If so, I would like to read this.



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dogglebe
Posted: July 24th, 2006, 9:59pm Report to Moderator
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I was able to open it without problem, Breanne.  Try restarting your computer.


Phil
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Breanne Mattson
Posted: July 25th, 2006, 1:32am Report to Moderator
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I did. No matter how many times I open this it gets hung up. Even when it shows itís completed being downloaded, if I try to go past page one, it gets hung up again. Oh well. Thanks anyway.

It doesnít matter. I donít think the author plans to participate here anyway.



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ron gannon sn
Posted: July 28th, 2006, 7:28am Report to Moderator
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Breanne,

Iím the author of ďMy LaiĒ and Iíll be around to respond to criticism.

Iíve been having trouble logging onto this site. I had to change my screen name to finally get on. Thatís why I didnít respond sooner.

Ron Gannon
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ron gannon sn
Posted: July 28th, 2006, 8:03am Report to Moderator
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Whenever possible, actual dialogue was used in this screenplay. I tried to depict the events at My Lai as accurate as possible. I heard of the massacre while I was serving in Vietnam. Like most Americans, I didn't believe it.

Several scenes in this screenplay still move me emotionally every time I reread it. This screenplay may not bring you to tears, but it will give you an understanding of what happened that day. Why did it happen? Your guess is as good as mine.

I'd appreciate any feedback. Especially on scenes that you thought were boring or memorable. Also jokes that work or don't work.  
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philipkd
Posted: July 31st, 2006, 12:35am Report to Moderator
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I read the first three pages and stopped. Initially, I was compelled by the thought of Mike Wallace pulling out shocking material from an interview. But then came a troubling line:

"I gave the army a good boy and they sent back a murderer"

Whether or not this was actually said, it sounds trite.

Putting a clip of Nixon is a nice transition from the face-to-face scenes. But then, I read on furthur, and encountered another troubling bit of dialogue:

"I'll never forget that day. I have nightmares several nights a week. Maybe after I testify I'll sleep better."

Some things would be better left unsaid. You should be able to tell by looking at Coon that he's been losing sleep. Or perhaps, it could be implied: "Daniel asks, 'Still can't sleep?' Coon doesn't reply. Daniel then goes on with the rest of the discussion."
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ron gannon
Posted: July 31st, 2006, 6:55am Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the comments.

I like what the mother said (because she did say it). Now I have her stand and turn to Wallace before she makes the remark.

I decided to delete most of Coon's remarks. After reading it a few times, I didn't like the comments either.

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ron gannon  -  August 12th, 2006, 11:53am
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