Biohazard Dawn by Glen Lentz - Horror, Action - After a military supply truck accidentally drops a canister of genetic waste into a small town's water supply, most of the the town dies and return to life, to feast upon the living leaving a group of survivers to escape the town while dealing with personal hardship and relationships. 92 pages - rtf, format )

Thanks Don.


Hey, Glen, I wanted to give this a read because I love zombies and would watch any movie about them (except for Day of the Dead 2: Contagium), but I just couldn't get into this, not because of how the story was moving, but just because of your format.

Now, I'm not trying to be rude here, but your format is bad. You have the right font and the right font size, but when showing a location, you usually say "INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT" instead of "Int. bedroom - night". When writing descriptions, cut them into paragraphs of about four to five lines each. It's much cleaner and easier to read when someone goes over it. I was also getting lost in all the camera movements. Unless you're planning on shooting this, you don't need them. Be sure to capitalize names when you introduce characters.

Quoted Text Glen is often singled out and thought of as “weird”, “unrealistic”, and “strange” by his peers due to his passion for horror movies and metal music.

You should leave this out because the audience won't know this. And one last thing, when it comes to dialogue, center the name (in capitalization, though you already had the names capitalized) and use the margins to have the correct format of dialogue. You can look around at other scripts and see other people's formatting if you haven't already done so.


Sorry if I started raining on your parade, but I had to go through this kind of stuff too. I see this is your first draft so if you plan on writing your second draft soon, I hope you take my comment into consideration.

Best of luck,
Sean