Precious Popcorn by Barbara Novak - Short, Sci Fi  - A young boy makes a wish to a couple of aliens, the wish turns into a burden, but redemption comes from the faith of believers. 8 pages - pdf, format

I hate popcorn by the way so I agree with the father that they're ruined (Especially when they get sick of popcorn)

The little boy seems to care way too much... does he not do anything to amuse himself? The way I remember friends who lived on farms is that they raced dirt bikes or found some silly ways to amuse themselves.

Anyway throwing the Aliens in and having them gone so fast hurts the idea a little bit. I liked it and thought it was touching in places, funny in others but the Aliens just seemed genre specific.

It is fairly well written for a one week script. I liked it and think given the theme and genre you did your best... good job.

This was a pretty cool little story. More of a hopeful,  tingly, "E.T."-esque approach. Well written and you did well with the theme.

The non-comedy take on the OWE’s genre and theme, sets this one apart from most of the other entries, giving this script some unique feel between the bunch. It’s clear that the author aims for the cute/touching angle; telling this story from the kid’s POV was a good choice, considering the author’s intention.

It deals with the given genre and theme in a quite creative way, although the alien angle could use a little more expansion for more believability; its introduction seems a little bit artificial and rushed right now.

All in all, a good entry, which makes me think of a capable writer with very few time in his hands (less than a week, I mean).

Good job.

This doesn't work for me, which is strange because apparently it works for everyone else.

I'm not too sure what to think of this, except that I'm pretty sure I know who wrote it. Maybe I'm totally wrong, but the raining popcorn kinda reminds me of a certain frog falling film, which is on a certain members avatar... maybe, just maybe. There are a couple of typos but it's such a sweet story I couldn't care less about mistakes.

Dialogue's great and yeah, it's a nice effort. Good job I say.

This was excellent! A real straight-shooter in my opinion. Aliens have been done before, of course, but I think you took their relationship with humans further than I think has been done. The popcorn rain wasn't only a clever use of the theme but I think it also illustrated a miscommunication between the humans and aliens. I thought it was interesting the way they interpretted rain. Speaking of which, I loved the twist, especially since it starts out one way and ends up another. Very clever.

Not much else to say here. My only complaint would be I think the Aliens spoke English a little too well or, should I say, a little too human-like. They're not exactly from around here. Their language should be more awkward. Other than that, I think this was a really solid entry. Great job!

My mood fluxuated throughout this one.  It started out off to me, then when it started to rain popcorn my interest was high, but the ending kind of left me wanting something else.  There are some good concepts and ideas in this script, such as the aliens, Johnny caring about his family's finances, etc.

I think it was just the final resolution which kind of turned me away.  Rains popcorn, then the family is saved.  Just didn't do it for me.  Aside from that it was good storytelling and good dialogue, so good job.

This one didn't really do much for me. It was written well and there was a story and characters but they really didn't engage me very much. The ending left much to be desired. Sorry.

I liked this one a lot, it's the first non comedy one of these for me, which was nice to see.

I thought the story was cute, it was a bit predictable, but it moved nicely and had a nice feel to it.

I did think the father was saying stuff you wouldn't say to a five year old, like "we're ruined" and stuff like that.  mabe if Johnny overheard his parents talking, that way he could get that information in a more realistic way, casue I really don't think a parent would say something like that in front of their child.

I did think the way the aliens talked was a little weird, maybe if their English was broken a bit or something.

all in all a very good job

This was fine.

I had two problems though:

1. The aliens sounded a little to much like regular people in their lanuage.  For some reason I always thought aliens would sound more like . . . blocky, you know?  This doesnt really HAVE to be true, but I think its a pretty wide held belief.

2.Why did the aliens make it rain popcorn?  That wasn't explained at all.

Other than that, a nice little script.

-Tyler

I think one line of this short script told me who wrote this: "Johnny?s eyes rolls around while he thinks." I know this line hasn't nothing special itself, but just one person could tell us how a little boy does when are looking for an idea or something, a person which deals with them averyday. In other words, a mom!

So it was nicely written; simple and touching in certain way, because reminds ourself as a child that one day we used to be.

If I'm wrong about who wrote it, please take my comments as a compliment because I do adimire the supposed writer so much!

This was a cute story and, probably aimed at kids.  I thought it was a little rushed.  The dialogue with Johnny and the aliens was just so direct; the boy didn't have too many questions, did he?

With the exception of the aliens, I thought the characterization was good for a short.  The aliens needed something more than what you gave them.


Phil

Thanks to all who read this one.

I guess cute kid stories were not everyone's cup of tea.   Oh, well.

Was this rushed? Absolutely. I sat down at 5pm on the Friday it was due and started typing. I had absolutely no idea what it was going to be about. I saved it to a .pdf file at 11:56 and sent it in at 11:58.

I appreciate everyone's input, but I want to tell James especially, that you continuously impress me by always being able to interpret the writer's intent.

Thanks everyone.

Pia  

hey Pia, I really really liked this one, reminded me in a way of my short about a little boy and an alien.  anyways great gob, especially since you wrote this one in a quick.