SimplyScripts
Discussion Board
Home - Movie Scripts - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is September 3rd, 2010, 7:31pm
Please login or register.
Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Welcome to the SimplyScripts Discusion Board. You have to register before you can post: click the 'register' link above to proceed. Registration is free, however you will have to confirm your e-mail address. Also, regardless if this is your first visit or 100th visit, please read the RULES. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. If you have questions on how to use the discussion board, click on the 'help' button above. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Drama  ›  White Picket Fence Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    White Picket Fence  (currently 1021 views)
SimplyScripts
Posted: March 18th, 2007, 9:09am Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
6057
Posts Per Day
1.72
White Picket Fence by Jared Shipley - Drama - A New York college student returns home to Utah after his alcoholic father dies in a house fire. He lives with his hard-hearted, Vietnam veteran grandfather in a small, rural town. While there, the two decide to rebuild a decaying picket fence in the backyard, a symbol of their decaying family, and the young man is thrust into an odyssey of self-discovery, forcing him to face his demons about his family, himself, and the true nature of love. 98 pages - pdf, format


Visit http://www.simplyscripts.com for what is new on the site.



No matter where you go, there you are.
--Buckaroo Bonzai

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
SimplyScripts  -  April 4th, 2008, 6:01pm
Logged
Site Private Message AIM YIM
Spencer G.
Posted: April 4th, 2007, 9:02pm Report to Moderator
Red



Posts
8
Posts Per Day
0.01
Read the script and enjoyed it. My only problem is this:

Pg. 1: I like the opening with the gravestone, but it might be a bit confusing to the viewer. I think that the part with COLLIN in his dorm room needs to be cut. It doesn't really fit. Why is it suddenly a week earlier and seemingly the same conversation? If you keep it in the rental car it wouldn't be confusing.

Other than that, it was a well written script. Good job.


"If my film makes one more person miserable, I'll feel I've done my job." - Woody Allen
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
bryan00009
Posted: June 3rd, 2007, 10:44pm Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
24
Posts Per Day
0.01
Numbered scenes?  The title on every page?  Continueds?  All this junk doesn't belong in a spec script and just clouds up the fact that there's not much happening here.  I got as far as page 20.  The dialogue, such as it is, seems awfully banal ("How are you doing?  I don't know.  How are you doing" ...)  This feels like one of those painfully slow movies where everyone just stands around, mumbles, and stares wistfully off into the horizon.   A movie about building a fence and sharing memories of a dead person?  Pass.


"It's just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with.  I found it flat and trite..."  Sunset Boulevard (1950).
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Drama  [ previous | next ] Switch to:

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006