Rumdizzle by Lance - Series - Four drinking buddies get into to supernatural adventures along the way to inebriation.  15 pages - html, format

Hey Lance,

Just finished Rumdizzle.

There's a couple of format problems at the beginning. Every time you introduce a new character always cap his/her name. A little description of each character wouldn't hurt. Also, you have to be consistent with the names (The Rum, Rum, Rumdizzle - which is it?).

Other than that I think it was pretty funny. The dialog was great - I liked the 'Bobbit' reference. I don't see how this is a series though. It felt like a short (a very funny one).

Cheers
Rob

Thanks for viewing! I plan on turning it into an extended series, and then producing it myself soon enough. There were some inconsistencies,  I guess I was so pumped I got the placing of the formatting right, I forgot descriptions and a few other things.

Thanks for pointing that out!

Just finished reading this, and although there are some goof ups here and there, they weren't anything that can't be overlooked.

As for the bulk of the script, it was a bit short, although really funny. I personally like the mystery of the arrows origin, and of course, that certain vile the bad guy crushed. Classic.

You mentioned this is a series, do you have any more to post?




[Bert's Note:  Sigh....when will they ever learn?  Breadfan finds this "classic" cuz he is Rumdizzle.]

[Bert's Note:  Sigh....when will they ever learn?  Breadfan finds this "classic" cuz he is Rumdizzle.] [/quote]

Bert
Simply Script PI


Thanks for telling us!

Quoted from bert [Bert's Note:  Sigh....when will they ever learn?  Breadfan finds this "classic" cuz he is Rumdizzle.]

It's such a shame when people resort to this. It's an even bigger shame in this case coz' the script was actually pretty funny.

Oh well...

Rob

Yes, I admit it, I did it. Not because I wanted to trumpet my own work, but rather so I can hopefully draw more people into reading it while I work on the next one, and get some feedback as well. PT Barnum wrote letters to the newspaper for and against his own work, so it was the same theory here, just a different stage.

I knew I'd be caught, but not that quickly. I apologize whole-heartedly, and was only trying to draw more in.

You're going about this all wrong. It's quid pro quo here. The only way you're gonna get more people to read and review your stuff is if you start reviewing other people's work.

Go to the Script Review Exchange thread.


Rob