The Office, Game Day by Kelson Kugler (khaos) - Series -  It's Game Day at the Scranton office and Michael soon becomes frustrated with his continuous losses, so he comes up the perfect game that he's sure will guarantee him a win.  Meanwhile, Dwight becomes a licensed bounty hunter over the weekend, and Jim and Pam decide to give him his first assignment. 27 pages - pdf, format

Hey that was hilarious, you really know the characters men- the office shows are becoming a little formulaic and tired out- and this is really fresh- would like to see this on screen one day.

Thank you so much for reading.  I really appreciate the comment.

Quick Points - if this is taking place sometime in season 4, Jan no longer has a job with Dunder-Mifflin...  Therefore Michael shouldn't mention her as an antagonist  to his game day plans.  Kelly and Ryan at best would have a one-sided long distance relationship in the 4rth season too.  Unless of course it falls through like you suggest.

Where's your Tag?

Good script though.  I enjoyed it.  You should rework it slightly and submit it to one of the many competitiions.  

Shoot, you're right.  I really wasn't sure what season I was writing for, to be honest.  It seems that a lot of changes were made at the end of season three, so I think I'm going to wait until the fourth season runs for a little while and then make the changes to the script.

Thanks for the notes.  I heard your Office Spec got into the Quaterfinals in Scriptapaloozatv.  Congratulations!

Kelson,

Nice job.  I think my favorite moment was Dwight trying to tear the picture and then realizing that it's laminated.

I think you've got the voices down, and the general MOs of the characters, but here's my 2 cents:

You've got your hook.  It's Game Day.  But I would give some thought as to what's at stake for this episode.  What comes to mind is Andy, and his past, and just how will it come back to haunt him on this particular day.  And based on that, I wonder if it would play better if Andy's duel with Dwight was heralded as the MAIN EVENT.  Not something that occurs concurrently with the monopoly match.  Maybe it occurs outside in the parking lot?  And maybe have the stakes laid out on the table: if Andy loses, Dwight collects his first bounty; if Andy wins, perhaps Dwight relinquishes his #3 spot in the chain of command.  In Act 2, you could spend some time building up to the big rumble; much like in high school - the sense of anticipation that comes when two kids are set to fight at the end of the school day.  IMO, sacrificing a few of the talking heads for the sake of this buildup, would be worth the effort.

Anyway, I hope this helps.  Thanks again for reading $3bill.

Tony

thanks.  great minds write on many boards.  haha.

Pretty good. So much of The Office's comedy is visual that you can easily forget how important it is to have good old-fashioned banter and comic timing to back it up, so this is a solid little effort. Particularly liked the way you used the talking head shots here - more than usual, maybe, but they underpin the subsequent dialogue with added humour, which works well.

I should probably have more to say, but my fingers are hurting from all the typing I've been doing now ^_^