The Second Draft by Robert Skotte (sniper) - Short, Comedy - Craig is in a park at night, out walking his dog. A stranger suddenly approaches him. The Stranger lays some hard truths on Craig who soon finds out that when words come to life, not everything is what it seems. - pdf, format

HAHAHA!

Amazing! I loved this one! I think I'm being roasted haha!

But at the same time I'm really hating you right now 'cause I'm working on a short with the same basic premise "Characters stuck in a script I'm writing" and now you beat me to it!

Ahhh, I can't stay mad at you. This one was brilliant. Really enjoyed it.

You got a typo on pg. 2 though: "this is you first scene".

Great work!

Now I'm gonna put my short on hold indefinitely...geez, this is like Capote and Infamous....

Quoted from Death Monkey HAHAHA! Amazing! I loved this one! I think I'm being roasted haha! But at the same time I'm really hating you right now 'cause I'm working on a short with the same basic premise "Characters stuck in a script I'm writing" and now you beat me to it! Ahhh, I can't stay mad at you. This one was brilliant. Really enjoyed it. You got a typo on pg. 2 though: "this is you first scene". Great work! Now I'm gonna put my short on hold indefinitely...geez, this is like Capote and Infamous....

Ooooh, that gotta hurt  

Sorry about your script, buddy. Guess we just proved that great minds DO think alike!

Yup, I kinda took a swing at Tall Tales didn't I? I wasn't anything personal TJ, I just feel there's an abundance of Hitman/Assassin scripts out there that are basically the same.

Anyways, thanks for the typo-hit and the read.

Glad you liked it.

Cheers
Rob

I decided i couldn't wait to read this. It read so quick and smoothly.

I loved it. I'd have to say this is your best work. If I had a top ten list of scripts, this would be on it.

Format was spot on. You've really got your stuff down to a Tee.

Dialogue was snappy and packed a comedic punch.

The premise is just amazing and very original. I like how you made yourself out to be a god like character.

Overall, it's awsome. Great job!

~Zack~

I think you mean Strangers.

But don't sweat it, I can take it. I have a sense of humor, you know.

Quoted from Death Monkey I think you mean Strangers.

Of course I did  

Quoted from Splatter Boy I deided i couldn't wait to read this. It read so quick and smoothly. I loved it. I'd have to say this is your best work. If I had a top ten list of scripts, this would be on it. Format was spot on. You've really got your stuff down to a Tee. Dialogue was snappy and packed a comedic punch. The premise is just amazing and very original. I like how you made yourself out to be a god like character. Overall, it's awsome. Great job! ~Zack~

Hey Zack,

Thanks for the read, glad you enjoyed it.

Like Bill Murray,  I'm a God - not the God  . Seriously, I just couldn't picture myself dissing another writer other than myself.

Rob

Hahaha, Rob. This is one helluva script. This is your best work so far.

Full of great dialogue, hilarious self-depricating remarks and self-awareness.

This is really is a unique script. I think I have a new favourite short.

Really, really, really excellent work, as usual, Rob.  


Matt.

Quoted from chism Hahaha, Rob. This is one helluva script. This is your best work so far. Full of great dialogue, hilarious self-depricating remarks and self-awareness. This is really is a unique script. I think I have a new favourite short. Really, really, really excellent work, as usual, Rob.   Matt.

Hey Matt,

Thanks for read the buddy. Yeah this one turned out pretty good I think. It's kinda funny actually, this script was just one of those spur of the moment kinda things. Only took me a couple of hours - Wam Bam Thank You Ma'am.

Glad you liked it.

Cheers
Rob

I enjoyed this. You manage to write with good energy and your dialogue is consistently funny.

The premise is slightly old hat, the old fictional character developing a consciousness, it's recently been done again in Stranger than Fiction for instance.

This detracts slightly from the script for me, because we are so aware of what is happening from the start, before the new character.

However other than that I thought it was excellent.

One thing I would change personally is to have the Stranger kill the other man. I think that would make it more exciting and would make the ending even stronger when you see Craig pull out the glock.

Good job

Nice idea. The Dialog is a bit weak and could be improved. I liked the twist at the end, but thought it would work better if THE STRANGER suddenly realized he was changed into a FEMME FATALE  and the last thing he sees before he dies is his perfect breasts.

Quoted from decadencefilms@37.com The premise is slightly old hat, the old fictional character developing a consciousness, it's recently been done again in Stranger than Fiction for instance. One thing I would change personally is to have the Stranger kill the other man. I think that would make it more exciting and would make the ending even stronger when you see Craig pull out the glock. Good job

Hey Decadence,

Thanks for read and review. Actually, I haven't seen Stranger Than Fiction so I'm not familiar with the concept of that movie.

The reason why reversed the roles in the end was to play a trick on The Stranger. I wanted him to be all cool and in control (sort of) and then turn the table on him. Cos' when it comes to writing, nothing is edge in stone until the final draft.

Glad you liked it.

Cheers
Rob

Quoted from Harry_Tuttle Nice idea. The Dialog is a bit weak and could be improved. I liked the twist at the end, but thought it would work better if THE STRANGER suddenly realized he was changed into a FEMME FATALE  and the last thing he sees before he dies is his perfect breasts.

Hey Harry,

Thanks for the read. Regarding the dialogue, what exactly did you think was weak about it? Was it anything in particular or as a whole?

About The Stranger turning into a women, I don't think it would work. The point was to turn the table on the stranger and if he changed sex as well I think that would be over the top and too on the nose.

Anyway, thanks for the read.

Cheers
Rob

Fun script. I saw some grammatical errors but other than that, it was a quick, fun read. Kind of in the vein of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I dug it.

Hey DirectorG13,

Thanks for the read, glad you dug it.

Cheers
Rob