Santa Killer by William Sokolic (bsaks) - Short - Dead Santas are popping up all over town, sliced and diced by an unknown assailant. Flayed and splayed on front steps and frozen lawns by a psycho. With Christmas fast approaching, Detective Richard Goldbloom is under the gun by local politicians and upset children to catch the culprit before nary a Santa is left standing. The intrepid detective saves the day with one Santa remaining, but can't believe what he discovers about the hit squad.  20 pages - pdf, format

Hey William,

Well, it wasn't a half-bad screenplay.  The format was set up well and I think you're a very good writer, in the fact that you made your action blocks interesting.

But, I'm afraid I have to admit, I wasn't a big fan of the story.  Not that it's bad, it's just not really my cup of tea.  Actually, I hate tea, so any cup of tea isn't my cup of tea.  It's just that I never really got into it.  It didn't really interest me.

Actually, except for the swearing, I think it would make a really good kids or teenage story, maybe something along the line of Goosebumps! or something like that.

But, like I said, your writing was very strong and the format was well set up, so all in all, it was a pretty entertaining read.

-Mark

I actually misread the first post.  I thought somebody was going around whacking out a bunch of real-life Santa's.  But anyway, I enjoyed it.  I liked the Claud Raines reference and Mayor's comments about getting Goldbloom fired if he didn't find out who was airing out all the Santa's, that was pretty funny.  It felt like it could've been an episode of Friday the 13th or something.